


The Other Choice

by Fiona James (Bluewolf458), raynewton



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-11 09:02:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 45,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11145237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewolf458/pseuds/Fiona%20James, https://archiveofourown.org/users/raynewton/pseuds/raynewton
Summary: In this AU, Spock from one universe, whose Kirk has died, has gone into another universe to rescue a Kirk who is being badly abused.





	The Other Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Many years ago, Jacqueline Lichtenberg began an AU series called Kraith. Other writers produced stories set in that universe, and one of these stories involved a (Commodore) Spock whose Kirk had died searching parallel universes to try to find a Kirk who had lost his Spock. He found the Kraith universe, misunderstood what he saw there and decided to rescue Kirk from what he thought was an abusive relationship. (It wasn't.) Before he returned home, however, that Kirk suggested that the Commodore keep on searching, because somewhere there might be a Kirk who did need to be rescued. 
> 
> This sparked the idea for the Variations on a Theme universe, put out by ScoTpress between 1997 and 1984. In the first of this 8-volume series, Spock found a universe where there was a Kirk who did indeed need to be rescued from a Spock (a Captain) who never adjusted to his Human blood, and reacted by mistreating Kirk (his First Officer) with sadistic, sexual cruelty. 
> 
> Spock set out to rescue this Kirk. In the process the wicked Captain Spock was killed. Commodore Spock then decided to remain in that Universe, taking the Captain's place. The Captain's body was left in the Commodore's original universe. 
> 
> In Variations Number 2 the new Captain Spock was obliged to go 'home' to visit 'his' parents. (Sarek and T'Pau, Amanda having died - hence the Captain's maladjustment.) Circumstances meant that Sarek had to be told the truth. To the amazement of both Kirk and Spock, he accepted Commodore Spock as his son. 
> 
> In Variations Number 3 Spock ran into problems with his family Council on Vulcan. Although Sarek knew the truth, the rest of his family did not, and the Family Council decreed that Spock must marry. Unfortunately, this Spock knew, from events in his own universe, that he was immune to pon farr, and a wife would wonder about this. However, male-male bonding was legal on this Vulcan, although rarely done. The Council, although not happy, conceded that such a bonding was permissible - and Spock and Kirk were legally bonded. 
> 
> The remainder of the series is totally gen; with Spock physically impotent and Kirk (because of the way he was treated by the Captain) psychologically impotent. 
> 
> It is against this background that this story, which splits away from the main series after No. 3, was written; however, there are references in this story that will only make sense if you have some knowledge of Variations 1-3. 
> 
> In a sense we're coming out of the closet by posting it. Originally printed in Duet XII, only the editor knew that 'Martin Coates' was a joint pen name for the writers of the original stories. 
> 
> One other thing. There is at least one point made in this story that at least some readers will jump on as incorrect. However, laws change; it was correct at the time the story was written, fully 35 years ago.

   
The Other Choice  
   
aka Variations 3.5  
   
by Martin Coates

(aka Ray Newton and Fiona James)

 

  
   
The  Enterprise was in orbit around Farol, preparing to undertake a major refit at Starbase 9. Her last mission had been dangerous and exhausting - both ship and crew were in need of a rest. Indeed, most of the junior officers had already begun their leave; only the senior crew remained to see the handover to the Starbase staff completed. That done, Kirk and Spock would be free to begin the long, leisurely holiday they had promised themselves.  
   
Kirk was relaxing quietly in his quarters, thinking over the events of the day when he and Spock had attended the marriage of a distant member of the Family who was serving at the Vulcan Embassy on Farol. It was the first time he had attended such a formal ceremony, for his own bonding had been - by Vulcan  standards - a private occasion for his immediate family only. What had made him more apprehensive, however, was the fact that this was also the first time he and Spock had been obliged to appear formally in public as bondmates among Vulcans who did not know that their relationship was in name only, and to whom he was Spock's mate in fact as well as in law.  
   
That being so, it had been necessary for them to be on their guard so that at all times their behaviour towards one another was as was expected. Paradoxically, this was easier for Kirk than for Spock; on this Vulcan, emotion, though to be controlled, could be expressed when appropriate, and as a recently bonded pair, Kirk and Spock were permitted - even expected - to display affection for each other.  
   
Although normally Kirk disliked physical contact, and avoided it whenever possible, he had no such inhibitions with Spock. It was pleasant to touch his hand to the Vulcan's in the prescribed gesture, and the quiet assured possessiveness with which Spock occasionally touched his shoulder or arm, the intent gaze resting on his face, the restlessness if another seemed to approach too closely, even the calm certainty with which his bondmate summoned him to his side, all filled him with a sense of absolute security. This was heady enough for someone who had never been permitted to know that he was valued, but there was one incident that he was never to forget...  
   
He had been talking with one of the embassy staff when it suddenly became necessary that Spock be consulted on a point. The older Vulcan looked at him expectantly, and Kirk's heart sank as he realised what he was expected to do. It seemed like presumption of the highest order, but without hesitation he held out his hand, fingers extended, and said quietly, "My bondmate, attend me," opening the link as he did so.  
   
Spock instantly broke off his own conversation with the Ambassador and, without a word of explanation or apology, crossed the room to touch his fingers to Kirk's.  
   
Neither of the Vulcans seemed to find his action in the least surprising - a bondmate's summons took precedence over anything else, but Kirk had been a little startled by such instant attention.  
   
As he thought back over the day, Kirk smiled contentedly; as far as Vulcan was concerned he was accepted - and envied - as the consort of Captain Spock...  
   
Suddenly Kirk turned to the door, his smile broadening as he called, "Come," before hurrying into the day cabin.  
   
The door slid open and Spock stood there, one eyebrow raised. "The link is strengthening, Jim," he remarked as he obeyed Kirk's gesture of invitation and stepped into the cabin. "You answered before I signalled."  
   
"I sensed your presence. Of course, you are physically close here on the ship... but on that landing party last week I knew exactly where you were, even though I couldn't see you."  
   
"It was to be expected. While we didn't form the full bond, the ritual of the ceremony itself increased our sensitivity to each other. As time passes the bond we do have should function over greater and greater distances, although it will never be as sensitive as a fully consummated bond."  
   
The Vulcan sat down, and Kirk's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong?" he demanded.  
   
Spock smiled briefly. "Again, you demonstrate your awareness of my moods. It is true that I am troubled. I have just received a call from Commodore Devlin, inviting us for dinner this evening. I do not care for the man, but I wonder if it is wise to refuse."  
   
"I don't want to go," Kirk said thoughtfully, "but it might be better not to offend him. The Captain always went... Devlin was proud that he accepted his hospitality. I think they were... not friends, precisely, but accomplices. Yes, I think we'd better go."  
   
"Devlin also mentioned that he had arranged an entertainment... Do you have any idea what he meant?"  
   
"I'm afraid not, though I could make a pretty good guess. I was always included in the party for dinner, but the Captain used to make sure I returned to the ship as soon as the meal was over. You know how... possessive He was. I think He wanted me out of the way before things got out of hand. He didn't like... poachers." His mouth twisted wryly.  
   
"Then Devlin must be aware of the Captain's tastes," Spock said thoughtfully. "I will make an excuse and leave with you after dinner. Be ready in an hour, Jim. He said, civilian dress."

  
   
***

  
   
Exactly one hour later Kirk joined Spock in the transporter room. Janice Rand, the relief transporter operator, glanced at him appreciatively as he came in, looking somehow very young and unusually approachable in the stark black outfit relieved only by the shimmer of the IDIC that had been a gift from Spock on his last birthday. Really, he was very attractive, she thought... Then her eyes fell on the heavy gold ring he wore on his wedding finger, and she sighed with regret. She might have been tempted to make a play for him had he been married to a woman of his own race, but Vulcans seemed to take their marriages rather more seriously than some races did; she'd never heard of a term contract on that planet.  
   
Spock nodded a greeting as Kirk joined him on the platform. The Vulcan was trying to quell a sense of unease about the evening ahead. He remembered all too vividly the expression in the Commodore's eyes when he had briefed him about Karen Gallard. He could only hope that Devlin and his guests would restrain their behaviour until dinner was over and he could take his leave.  
   
"If a natural opportunity does not present itself for us to leave, I have arranged to be recalled to the ship," he said quietly to Kirk as they materialised on the Starbase. "However, I suggest that you remain close to me. In future I shall do all that I can to avoid Farol as a stopover."  
   
Kirk nodded. "Better to break off the acquaintance gradually," he agreed. "We don't want Devlin to start getting suspicious if 'Captain Spock' alters his behaviour too abruptly."

  
   
***

  
   
The dinner confirmed Spock's worst misgivings. All the guests were male, Devlin's particular cronies, and the conversation centred almost exclusively on sex. Kirk sat well back in his chair, kept his eyes on his plate, and picked listlessly at his food, longing for the dreadful meal to be over so that they could leave.  
   
In an attempt to shield Kirk from the unwanted attentions of his other neighbour, Spock unblushingly monopolised him; he was so absorbed in trying to shut out for both of them the coarse jokes and ribaldry that he did not notice the speculative glances Devlin was casting at him from the head of the table.  
   
_What gives with Spock?_ Devlin thought, intrigued by the attention the Vulcan was paying to his companion. /He usually has plenty to say for himself, but this time he seems too interested in that First Officer of his. Come to think of it, I did hear that Kirk had married into his family. Funny, though, the way Tal laughed when I told him Spock was here tonight with Kirk - said he'd explain when he got here. Be good to see him again... It's been too long since the three of us got together./  
   
His train of thought was interrupted by a question from one of his guests, and for the moment Devlin shelved his curiosity.  
   
After dinner the guests gathered on the terrace to await the arrival of several latecomers before the evening's entertainment began. Spock intended to use the confusion of their arrival to make his departure with Kirk; for the moment he stood with his bondmate at the far and of the terrace, pretending to enjoy the view of the lights of the Starbase while keeping as far as he could from a group of the base staff who were busily engaged in swapping off-colour jokes.  
   
At last he judged that it was time to leave, and turned  to Kirk. "Jim, shall we...?" The question died in his throat as he saw Kirk's eyes widen; the Human turned pale and swung round to grip the terrace railing as he fought for control.  
   
"Jim? What's the matter?" Spock asked sharply.  
   
For a moment time spun sickeningly, and he was back where he had started with the beaten, terrified Kirk so recently rescued from the Captain's vicious cruelty.  
   
Then even as he watched the Human's face firmed with resolution, although his lips were white as he looked up. "Sorry about that," Kirk whispered. "It was just... That's Commander Tal, there, talking to Devlin."  
   
Turning, Spock saw a Romulan Officer in conversation with Devlin; both men were grinning, and even as he watched the Human looked round to leer at Kirk with malicious delight.  
   
"He's told him," Kirk said softly. "I didn't realise they knew each other... Tal was... a friend of the Captain's, perhaps the only one who knew the full truth about him... and about me, what I was. He's always wanted me. They used to joke about it, you know. Tal would make all sorts of extravagant bids to get me into his bed, even for one night. Once, on Calderon, they played chess. I was the stake. If Tal won I had to spend the night with him. There were only two conditions. No permanent damage to me, and... and the Captain got to watch. As it turned out - Tal lost. The Captain said that..." Kirk's voice faltered for a moment, "that it was amusing to know that for once I was praying that He would take me to bed..."  
   
"Come," Spock said flatly. "We will leave now."  
   
"It's too late - they're coming over." Kirk squared his shoulders and drew himself up. "Don't worry about me, Spock - I can take whatever they say. Just don't give yourself away. After all, words can't hurt me."  
   
_Can they not?_ Spock thought as he stepped protectively in front of Kirk. "Leave this to me," he said quietly. "Believing what they do, it will seem natural that I speak for you." As he spoke he turned, forcing Devlin to a halt.  
   
"Well, Spock, you're a sly one," the Commodore chuckled, grinning, "No wonder our diversions bored you, with such a companion to warm your bed! But Tal tells me you've been selfish, keeping this delightful creature to yourself. We must persuade you to share.... He looks capable of servicing all of us."  
   
"Be silent, Dev1in!" Spock's voice was quiet, but as cold as ice. Turning sharply, he struck down the Romulan's hand as he reached out to Kirk's head. "Tal, if you lay one finger on my bondmate I will surely break your neck!"  
   
"Your bondmate?" Tal laughed. "You're joking, Spock. I know what he is, remember? And I know you - you'd never bond with a vr'ashiak... "  
   
"Be silent!" Spock hissed again, allowing his fury at the filthy Romulan epithet to flame in his eyes. He extended his hand to Kirk.  
   
"Bondmate, attend me."  
   
Without looking up Kirk completed the gesture of belonging and affection that was permitted for public use; glancing sideways for a moment as he did so, he could not help but be amused by the incredulity on the Romulan's face.  
   
"You acknowledge him?" Tal looked and sounded completely bewildered, "But you said..."  
   
"Not another word, Tal," Spock said warningly. "Circumstances change and it would be illogical to apply the attitudes of the past to a situation in the present. I can forgive such a display only because of our past friendship. However, I urge you to consider carefully before you speak again. James Kirk is my bondmate. You will treat him accordingly, or face the consequences."  
   
"I ask forgiveness, Spock."  
   
"Very well. I will retire now, and I will leave you to make what amends you can by convincing Commodore Devlin that you were mistaken. You might also care to explain to him the precise status of a bondmate - and the protection both Vulcan and Romulan law afford him. I suggest that you advise him not to repeat anything he may have heard. It would be... unfortunate... if I was forced to challenge a superior officer, and I think that he has little skill with the lirpa. Gentlemen, goodnight. James, attend me."  
   
With a regal inclination of the head Spock led Kirk away, thankful that the other guests had been too occupied with their own conversations to pay any attention to the scene on the terrace.  
   
Neither man spoke until they were safely back in Spock's cabin on the Enterprise. Kirk gave a sigh of relief as he sank into a chair.  
   
"That was a bad moment," he commented. "Do you think Devlin will talk?"  
   
"I do not think so," Spock replied calmly. "Romulans and Vulcans have many customs in common, including the concept of bonding, Tal will have explained to Devlin exactly how it would be to face an enraged Vulcan intent on avenging an insult to his mate, so I think the story will go no further, and if Devlin has any sense he will leave you severely alone."  
   
"Good." Kirk smiled and stretched sleepily. "Lord, I'm tired. It'll be good to get away." Turning, he lifted Spock's harp and held it out. "Before I go, will you play for me?"  
   
"Of course." Spock tuned the instrument carefully and began to play, a slow, sleepy tune that fitted the Human's mood perfectly. Lulled by the soft murmur of the music, Kirk's eyes slowly drooped, and he slept.

  
   
***

  
   
When next Kirk opened his eyes he was for a moment slightly confused by his surroundings. He lay on Spock's bed, a cover had been drawn over him; and the lights dimmed so that only the flickering firepot illuminated the room.  
   
"Spock?" he said hesitantly, and one of the shadows stirred.  
   
"I was just leaving," the quiet voice murmured. "I thought it best not to disturb you - I will use your quarters tonight. Sleep well, Jim."  
   
"Goodnight, Spock."  
   
For a moment featherlight fingers brushed his cheek, then he heard the outer door open and close. Sighing, he turned his face into the pillow and slept. He could not remember his dreams... but when he woke in the morning his eyes were wet.  
 

***

  
   
The following day Kirk was called down to the Starbase to consult with the technicians who were to work on the computer circuits. The problem was more complex than had at first appeared, and he was forced to remain overnight and for most of the following day.  
   
It was very late when he beamed back aboard, and almost at once he was aware of some subtle... wrongness... about the ship. He was unable to identify the source of his unease, knowing only that some small part of his mind ached intolerably. Puzzled, he hurried to Spock's cabin, but his signal at the door produced no response, and after a moment he used his voice override to enter.  
   
The room was deserted. Even the firepot had been extinguished. Filled with foreboding, Kirk entered the sleeping cabin and searched the wardrobe. Some of Spock's clothes, and a small travelling case, were missing.  
   
"He's gone, Jim," McCoy said quietly behind him.  
   
"Gone?" Kirk whirled accusing. "Gone where? Why didn't he tell me?" Placing his hands to his temples he concentrated for a few moments, then his face convulsed in anguish. "Nothing! I can't reach him. He's barriered against me! Why, Bones?"  
   
"Jim..." McCoy's voice tailed off miserably.  
   
"Doctor McCoy, I'm giving you a direct order - tell me where he is. Now!" Kirk's voice was cold, deadly. "I'll find him anyway - you know that. Bones, please. Can't you see, I have to know. He's in danger, isn't he; and you're trying to keep if from me."  
   
"Yes."  
   
The stark reply took Kirk's breath, and he stared at the doctor in silence. McCoy sank down onto the bed, gazing at his folded hands. "There's no way to break this gently," he said. "Spock's in pon farr."  
   
"Pon farr?" Kirk stared blankly. "But that's impossible. He's immune."  
   
McCoy gestured savagely. "He was. I can't explain it, nor can he, but there's no mistake. Perhaps... I don't know... the shock of the cross universe transfer... some sort of cumulative effect... Perhaps the radiation of his Vulcan's sun is different. Could be any one of a thousand things. But, whatever the reason, he's in pon farr. You've get to accept that."  
   
"And he didn't want me to see it. Yes, I can understand that." Kirk's face softened. "I suppose you've got him down in Sickbay? Maybe you're right... I wish I could see him, but maybe I'd better not." He laughed nervously. "Look, I know you're the doctor, but after all, I've been through this, so you could say I'm qualified to give advice. Don't try to make him eat - he just can't; but he'll need plenty of liquid. Oh, and make sure he's warm enough. If you can, keep him sedated, will you? It can be... painful; and he won't have any... relief..."  
   
"Jim!" McCoy's stern interruption stemmed Kirk's flow of words. After a moment the doctor continued more quietly. "You don't understand, do you? God, I never thought of that. In this universe it's an inconvenience, a necessity, but not... He doesn't belong here, remember, and where he comes from... Jim, in his universe an unconsummated pon farr is fatal."  
   
Kirk's eyes widened slowly as he took in McCoy's words. "No! Oh god, no. I must go to him:"  
   
He started for the door, but before he could reach it the doctor was on his feet and had caught his arm, swinging him round. "Jim, it's no use."  
   
It was doubtful if Kirk heard. He struggled violently and his eyes were blank with horror. McCoy slapped him sharply, then put an arm around his shoulders, trying to give comfort where none was possible, watching as he fought for control.  
   
"Sorry." Kirk gulped nervously. "I'm okay now. You'd better tell me the rest. What do you mean, it's no use?"  
   
"He's... not here. He went to Vulcan, to be as far away from you as possible. There's a period of madness - I can't remember what he called it - when he would do anything to get to you and take you. He refused to hurt you, so...."  
   
Strangely, Kirk felt deathly calm. It showed in his eyes and sounded in his voice as he led the way into the day cabin and sat behind Spock's desk.  
   
"Sit down, Bones," he said quietly, indicating the other chair "Sit down and tell me everything,"  
   
"I'll try." McCoy took the indicated chair, and cleared his throat. "It began about three weeks ago, but he only consulted me just before we reached Farol. He'd been feeling unwell, but he seemed fit enough from what I could see. I ran a full physical, but he never got round to coming back for the results, and I waited until he did. Of course, neither of us dreamed for a moment that... Anyway, two days ago he came to see me again. It was the night you'd been to dinner with Devlin."  
   
"I remember. Go on."  
   
"He was very upset, but controlled it well at first. He told me what had happened with Tal, but I could see it was more than that bothering him. He didn't need much persuading to tell me what had happened...  
   
"Jim, he was almost demented with worry and fear. He said that you fell asleep in his cabin as he was playing for you; he didn't want to disturb you, so he settled you in his bed for the night. Then he found that he couldn't leave. He watched you as you slept... and he wanted you. 'I could scarcely keep my hands off him,' he said. 'I touched his hair, and he smiled in his sleep, knowing that I was near. I burned to kiss his mouth... Doctor, I have never felt lust until now, but that is what it was... the lust of a Vulcan for his mate. I almost took him then... but he woke, and the trust in his eyes gave me the strength to leave him... this time.' Jim, if you'd heard the shame and guilt in his voice...  
   
"He came directly to me, and we went over the test results together. I couldn't make much sense of them, but they confirmed what he already knew - that he was in pon farr.  
   
"The horrible thing is that for a Vulcan in this universe, if he can't have or reach his desired mate, any compatible, willing partner can service him; but for Spock it had to be the special one, the one who drew him - his bondmate. You, Jim. Without you he'd die - and he'd kill anyone else who tried to come between you and serve his need in your place. And if he stayed near you, he'd lose all control before the end; he'd be driven to rape you, and there'd be nothing he could do to stop himself. He begged for my help... We took advantage of your absence at the base to make arrangements. He's gone to Vulcan, Jim - and he'll die there."  
   
"And you let him go?" There was almost hatred in Kirk's eyes and voice as he looked at the Doctor. "You claim to be his friend, and you let him go. Why did you do that?"  
   
"He made me promise. He loves you, Jim, and it would destroy him if he harmed you. What else could I do? He begged me, Jim. Spock begged me..."  
   
"I understand," Kirk said tiredly, rubbing his hands over his face. "Sorry, Bones - it was a hellish difficult situation for you. Don't worry about it." He rose, smiling down at his friend. "Well, coming?"  
   
"Where to?" McCoy asked, confused.  
   
"First to the base to hire a ship, then to Vulcan."  
   
"But I told you - it's no use."  
   
Kirk ignored the interruption. "I'm going to Spock," he said quietly.  
   
"Then what? You can't help him."  
   
"I can if I give him what he wants. God knows, I played the whore often enough for a man I hated. I can do it for the man I love."  
   
"And if he reads that in your mind, you'll destroy him before the madness does. Can't you see, that's just what he was afraid of? How do you think he'll feel when it's all over and he realises that he's used you just as the Captain did?"  
   
"All that matters is that he should live," Kirk countered savagely. "The rest... I'll make him accept it, somehow."  
   
McCoy shook his head; he accepted that Kirk had made up his mind, but there was one move thing he had to say.  
   
"Jim, I think you should face the fact that you might not get there in time."  
   
"That chance exists, but I've got to try. Now, are you coming with me, or not?"  
 

***

  
   
The journey to Vulcan was a nightmare McCoy was never to forget. The hired ship, though the fastest of her kind, seemed interminably slow. Kirk sat hunched over the control panel, endlessly turning and turning the marriage ring on his finger, rousing only long enough to correct course when necessary. He slept fitfully when McCoy drugged him, woke to the stimulant shots he had begged and bullied from his friend, and ate only as the price of the medication that kept him going. There was no conversation between the two men, apart from necessity; all their thoughts were concentrated on their destination.  
   
At last a dizzy descent through Vulcan's atmosphere brought the ship to rest; there was a hurried transfer to an aircar for the journey home, and almost before the tiny craft had landed Kirk was out and running into the house.  
   
McCoy followed more slowly, to find Kirk with T'Pau in the entrance hall; he was gripping her arms fiercely. "Where is he?"' he demanded. T'Pau's eyes slid to the passage that led to Spock's room and Kirk followed her gaze, flinching as he saw that the heavy metal gates traditionally brought into use on these occasions had been closed and bolted.  
   
"At his insistence, my son," T'Pau said compassionately. "He did not wish to be a danger, since Sarek is not here to control him."  
   
"I must go to him." Kirk started to pull away, but T'Pau held him back.  
   
"Prepare yourself, child," she said gently. "I fear you may be too late. For a time I heard him screaming... but these last few hours, there has been only silence."  
   
Spock... screaming? Kirk's heart convulsed. "Mother, I can't bear it," he moaned, as T'Pau's comforting arm closed about him.  
   
"You must. As his chosen brother, and his bondmate, you must bear your grief with the dignity he has the right to expect. Now, go to him."  
   
Slowly Kirk pulled away and walked over to unbolt the gate; he passed through, and at T'Pau's nod McCoy followed, to stare aghast at the devastation within.  
   
The simply furnished, comfortable rooms had been totally wrecked. Ripped hangings fell in tatters from the walls, furniture had been smashed beyond repair, glass crushed into fragments. Only the unleashing of fantastic physical strength could have wrought such havoc.  
   
Kirk was in the sleeping quarters. He knelt amid the wreckage of the bed, Spock's limp, naked body cradled in his arms. Against the Human's shoulder Spock's face was drawn and haggard, his body bleeding from cruel weals where he had clawed himself in his agony. McCoy could hear Kirk's soft voice whispering as he hugged the Vulcan, smoothing the disordered hair; for a moment he pressed his lips to the cold mouth, then he buried his face in the Vulcan's neck and wept.  
   
After that first horrified glance McCoy turned away. He dared not leave Kirk alone with his dead bondmate, but he was unwilling to intrude on his first moments of grief. As he looked around the devastated room he saw the one object that stood unharmed amid the chaos, and a sob choked him.  
   
Set carefully in an alcove beside the bed was a small bronze figure of Kirk. T'Pau, a gifted sculptor, had fashioned it as a gift for Spock, and it was his most valued possession, so treasured that he would not risk it on the Enterprise. Tiny, but absolutely perfect in detail, the figure depicted Kirk in the act of looking up from something held in his cupped hands.  
   
McCoy knew that expression - he had seen Kirk greet Spock's arrival with that look many times. T'Pau's love had caught to perfection the confident joy in his face, the gentleness of his eyes, the slightly vulnerable mouth. It was Kirk as his friends knew and loved him.  
   
For a moment the doctor's heart sank. Kirk would never regard him, or any other, with quite that depth of love and trust; how in god's name was he to fill Spock's place in Kirk's life?  
   
"Bones!" McCoy turned at the note of frenzy in Kirk's voice. "Bones, he's alive! I felt a pulse... "  
   
"Let me see." McCoy knelt, his scanner whirred, and after a moment he raised his head. "Thank god! Help me with him, Jim. Is there somewhere I can take him?"  
   
"My room," Kirk suggested confidently. Refusing McCoy's help he lifted Spock and carried him out into the living quarters and through to a second bedroom, which had not been damaged. He laid Spock on the bed. "The bathroom's through there - I'll get some water,"  
   
McCoy gave several injections in rapid succession, and sat back to watch results. As he waited it struck him as curious that even in his frenzy the Vulcan had left this room untouched, as though even in his madness he could not harm anything that belonged to Kirk. Which left him wondering, with a half-ashamed curiosity, just what would have happened if Kirk had been within reach when Spock entered the period of blood fever.  
   
"How is he?" Kirk returned carrying a basin of water and a towel. His voice shook slightly.  
   
McCoy's scanner whirred again. "Take it easy, Jim. His pulse is stronger... I think he's going to live."  
   
"I mean - " Kirk began to wash the sweat and blood from Spock's body - "his mind. He's lived through pon farr... but is he sane?"  
   
"I don't know." McCoy bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Jim, but we'll have to wait."  
   
He watched as Kirk finished cleaning Spock, dried him gently, then threw a light cover over him; then, disregarding the chair McCoy set for him, he perched on the edge of the bed, his eyes on Spock's face. Sympathetically McCoy retired to a couch by the window, from where he could keep an eye on his patient while allowing Kirk some privacy. He was a little uneasy about permitting Kirk to remain so close, but knew it would be useless to attempt to persuade him to leave. After a moment's thought he drew his phaser, set it to stun, and laid it down close to his hand; if necessary he could stun Spock before any harm was done...  
   
He must have dozed off, for when he next looked across at the, bed Kirk had taken the Vulcan's head onto his lap and his fingers were smoothing the dark hair, tracing the curves of the elegant ears, following the sweep of an eyebrow. The Human's face was calm, his attention utterly concentrated on what he was doing, and McCoy's unease grew. If Spock was indeed sane and woke to find Kirk so close...  
   
He was about to warn his friend to move away when Spock stirred, and he remained silent, waiting to see what would happen - but he lifted the phaser from the couch and took careful aim.  
   
Slowly the dark eyes opened, and KIrk leaned forward; an incredulous joy flooded the ravaged face as Spock smiled in delight and raised an unsteady hand.  
   
"Beloved phantom, stay with me," he pleaded, and a sob caught Kirk's throat.  
   
"Spock, I'm no ghost... I'm really here." He captured the seeking hand and pressed it to his cheek, turning his head so that his lips brushed the palm.  
   
"Jim... you should not be here... dangerous for you... "  
   
Kirk produced a creditable attempt at an easy laugh. "No risk - if you'd still been in pon farr you'd have grabbed me the minute you woke up."    
   
"Nevertheless..." Spock struggled into a sitting position and looked at him in wonder. "You followed me," he whispered. "Did McCoy not explain?"  
   
"Of course he did - but when did I ever take any notice of Bones?" A very real anger darkened Kirk's eyes as, his grief dispelled, he realised how nearly he had lost Spock. He gripped the thin shoulders and shook the Vulcan fiercely.  
   
"Don't ever do that to me again!" he snapped. "I don't care if you thought it was for my own good. I can bear anything, anything, Spock! except your death. How do you think I felt when Bones told me where you had gone - and why? And I couldn't reach your mind - you'd even closed that to me. I was so alone... "  
   
"Jim, I had to." Spock tried to make the Human understand. "Although it is not complete, it is still a bonding link we share. If you had succeeded in touching my mind I would have locked on to yours and come back to claim you - I would have been unable to prevent myself. I was a stranger to myself, and a danger to you. The only safety lay in putting you out of reach. If I had lived through pon farr at the price of your safety, if I had emerged from the blood fever and found that I had harmed you, if I had caused you pain, seen fear of me in your eyes... Jim, I would have gone mad." His eyes widened. "And yet I did survive. How is it possible? I did not mate... I should be dead."  
   
"You're not, and that's the only thing that matters to me," Kirk whispered.  
   
They clung together in silence for some minutes, both trembling with reaction; then McCoy, sensing the tension building in the room, yawned loudly and stretched as though he had just woken. When he looked at them again they were sitting apart, but Kirk still clutched Spock's hand tightly.  
   
"Decided to join us, have you?" McCoy grunted, "Let's have a look at you." He studied his scanners intently, then nodded. "A slight chemical imbalance, but it's clearing fast."  
   
"Doctor, can you explain? The plak-tow should have killed me."  
   
"As to that, I do have a few ideas, but I'll run some tests tomorrow. Right now you need sleep. You too, Jim," he added sternly. "Chasing half-way across creation at a moment's notice..."  
   
"Indeed, you do look tired," Spock agreed, smiling at Kirk. He looked at McCoy. "As do you, Doctor."  
   
"Me? I'm fine. My only problem was thinking up what I was going to say to Selek if you'd died in pon farr."  
   
"I... did not think of that." Spock looked startled.  
   
"You might have had a few other things on your mind," McCoy said gently.  
   
"But he would have wondered why Jim did not come to me. To fail a mate in his time of need... I have been criminally careless. He would have blamed Jim... "  
   
"Well, it didn't happen, so will you quit worrying about it," McCoy growled. Seeing that Spock still looked unconvinced, he added, "Now will you get some sleep, or..." He brandished his hypo menacingly.  
   
Kirk chuckled, released Spock's hand, and stood up. "All right, I'm going," he laughed. "Bones, you're a menace with that thing. Spock, humour him, for heaven's sake - if I have one more sedative or stimulant shot, I'll be sick."  
   
"I do understand how you feel," Spock agreed earnestly. "Very well, Doctor, we will sleep. But tomorrow I have some questions."  
 

***

  
   
The following day McCoy sat with Kirk and Spock in the garden. It was evening, and pleasantly cool; as he glanced around he could understand why Kirk loved this place, why it was 'home' for him,  
   
"Well, Doctor?" Spock's quiet voice reminded him of why they were there, and he sighed.  
   
"I believe I have the answer, but you must remember that I'm working in the dark to a certain extent. All I know about pon farr is what I've been able to persuade the Vulcan Medical Council to tell me, plus, of course, your own account - but this is your first time, and you're not typical of either universe."  
   
"I understand. What are your conclusions?"  
   
"I'd say that your pon farr followed the normal course for your own universe, but that your Human blood weakened it."  
   
"Weakened it!" Kirk exclaimed with a shudder.  
   
"Yes. If he'd been a full Vulcan, he would have died."  
   
"But why have I never been troubled before? In both universes I am well past the age of first pon farr."  
   
"Again, I'd say you were following the norm for your own Vulcan. Here, the mating urge comes when the male is sexually mature, and although he would normally and for preference turn to his chosen mate to satisfy him, he can at need find relief simply in a physical mating with... well, anybody. In your universe, I suspect the bondmate is the key factor. There, sexual maturity plus contact with the bondmate, either physical contact or mental, through the link, are the triggers for pon farr. You thought you were impotent, but obviously you are not. The other Kirk was sufficiently different from Jim to prevent you from forming a spontaneous bond with him, sufficiently alike to keep you from anyone else. Now you have met Jim, and all the requirements have been fulfilled. This has probably been building since your first meld with Jim - subconsciously you recognised your true mate even then, and your bond began to form, but you were so convinced of your impotence that it didn't occur to you as a possibility."  
   
"Then I... " Spock coloured painfully. "I have trapped Jim. He cannot respond to anyone else because of me... because of my needs... "  
   
"No, Spock, that's just not so." McCoy shook his head firmly. "If you were fully bonded to Jim he'd have been drawn to you sexually, but he wasn't. He came after you because he was scared of losing you, because he loves you... but he wasn't aware of any sexual desire. Were you, Jim?"  
   
"No," Kirk said positively. "If I had felt it I'd have known. He could always arouse me... Bones, what will happen to Spock now?"  
   
"I don't know - it's too soon to tell what his cycle will be. It may settle into the seven-year rhythm of his own universe, or... "  
   
"Or what?" Kirk demanded,  
   
"Or the cycle may be even more frequent," McCoy said reluctantly. "In both universes the mating urge is powerful, and if denied will occur more often. I don't think you'll have the six-month cycle of this universe, Spock, and at least we know that you can survive it... "  
   
"In agony!" Kirk flared.  
   
"It might not be too bad, Jim," McCoy said unhappily, as though trying to convince himself as much as Kirk. "Now that we know what signs to look for, we can anticipate the attacks - he can be confined, sedated„ drugged - "  
   
"Not Spock!" Kirk whispered hoarsely, recoiling from the image of his proud friend subjected to such treatment. Turning to the Vulcan ho caught his face between his hands and looked into the dark eyes. "There must be another way. Perhaps... perhaps I can... "  
   
"No, Jim." Spock smiled painfully. "I am... most grateful... for the offer, but I cannot accept."  
   
"Do I disgust you after all?" There was shame in Kirk's eyes. "Is it that you can't bear to touch me? Once before I made the same offer... You rejected it then - "  
   
"But not for the same reasons." Spock took Kirk's hands in his. "Then, I thought you corrupt - that you had secretly enjoyed what was done to you, and wanted more. Now, I will not take advantage of your love for me just to spare myself pain. I love you dearly, Jim, and I will not use you."  
   
"But... "  
   
"NO, Jim." Spock rose and touched the Human's cheek gently. "Even from you, I cannot accept pity. You will not sacrifice yourself on the altar of my need. McCoy, I will be grateful for your help when the time comes again. I will do as you suggest - now that we know what symptoms to look for, we will have time to prepare a course of treatment. Fortunately, I think that my... condition... can remain a secret; my First Officer is fully capable of running the Enterprise when I am incapacitated."  
   
"Right," McCoy said gruffly. "I'll see you through, Spock. Now that's settled, I'm ordering you and Jim on medical leave, so you'd better decide where you want to go."  
   
"Aren't you coming with us, Bones?" Kirk asked.  
   
"Not this time; I think you and Spock ought to have some time alone. I'll stay here with T'Pau - I don't get much chance to talk to her when you two are around,"  
   
"One of your better prescriptions, McCoy. Forgive me, Jim, but I am tired, and wish to rest."  
   
"I'll see you later, Spock."  
   
As the tall figure walked slowly towards the house, Kirk turned to McCoy. "You should have backed me up, Bones, helped me to convince him. He's got to accept me! Spock, of all people, to be drugged into docility!  
   
"And suppose it doesn't work? You saw what he went through. How often can he do that? It would be better for him to... to mate with me."  
   
"It would," McCoy said calmly. He lifted a hand to forestall Kirk's interruption. "But you heard him. He won't use you for his own satisfaction. He knows only too well what sex means to you. You give yourself away every time you open your mouth on the subject, you know. Even talking about Spock, you said it. 'I played the whore for a man I hated, I can do it for the man I love.' In this case love isn't enough - it'll take passion and need too. And you don't feel that for him. I don't think you can."  
   
"He's got to let me help!" Kirk said despairingly. "I can't watch him suffer like that. Help me, Bones. You're a doctor, a psychologist. How can I convince him?"  
   
"You haven't been listening to me. You can't. Because the only way would be to convince him that you want him. Now just think about that for a minute, Jim. Think about lying in his arms every night. Think about what he'd want to do to you, and want you to do to him. Think of his hands on you... "  
   
"Please, don't," Kirk whispered.  
   
"You see?" McCoy shrugged wearily. "It's not your fault - god knows you have enough reason to react as you do. But do you really think you'll be any use to Spock like this?"  
   
"No," Kirk whispered miserably.  
 

***

  
   
That night Kirk lay sleepless in his room, very much aware that a few yards away Spock was resting quietly. The damaged rooms had been hastily repaired, for Sarek had returned with guests, and Kirk could not be seen to be using one of the guest rooms.  
  
He was very restless, thinking over what McCoy had said that evening. It would all be so simple... if only he could feel physical desire for Spock. His only experience of sex had been with the Captain, and his shame and disgust had been too great to allow him to evaluate how he would have reacted to such intimacies had he not been coerced. Most Humans claimed that sex was a thing to enjoy, but he had never found it so. As he had admitted, his master had always been able to arouse him physically, despite his reluctance, so he knew that his body was capable of a physical response to Spock. The question was, was that all it would be? Would he ever be able to give more than an automatic response to the mechanics of sexual intercourse?  
  
Not only his body, but his mind and heart must willingly consent if the Vulcan was to be convinced. Deliberately, Kirk recalled memories of the Captain's 'lovemaking', trying to imagine instead Spock's loving arms and gentle lips. Perhaps... perhaps with a lover there could be tenderness, joy and pleasure...? And he did love Spock...  
  
_He know that he was dreaming, and so he felt no fear, only an intense curiosity as he looked down at his own sleeping face. He was viewing the past, Kirk realised, for the sleeper's face was drawn and tired, as though his dreams tormented him; again on the pale skin of his shoulder burned the scar of the slave brand that marked him for what he was._  
  
_As he watched the sleeper stirred restlessly and awoke, his eyes bright with terror; Kirk knew why - his younger self had been awakened by his master's mental summons._  
  
_Jim rose and dressed hastily - don't keep Him waiting! - and went at once to the Captain's rooms. The door opened at his soft call, and he slipped inside, his eyes at once fastening anxiously on his master._  
  
_"Pour me wine." The Captain, dressed in a thin robe, sat half-turned from his desk._  
  
_Jim obeyed, trembling as he approached the Vulcan, who watched him calculatingly as he sipped from the goblet. After a moment he set it aside, caught Jim's wrist, and pulled the Human onto his lap. Jim submitted obediently, aware that any resistance would be swiftly punished. A hot mouth fastened avidly on his own and he responded to the kiss as he had been taught, parting his lips to admit a probing tongue which he caught and sucked. He was desperately conscious of the hand that fumbled at his groin, opened his trousers and slid between the folds of cloth, moulding itself to his penis; under his buttocks he could feel the hard pressure of the Captain's swollen organ._  
  
_The hand left his groin and wandered up over his belly, under his shirt until the fingers reached his nipples, pressing and pulling them erect, and he gasped softly at the pain when sharp nails caught the tender flesh._  
  
_The Captain released him, only to push him down until he was kneeling between the Vulcan's legs. "Suck me," he commanded._  
  
_Jim slowly parted the robe and took the already engorged penis in his hand, bending his head to bring it to his mouth. Slim fingers entwined in his hair, pressing his face into the Vulcan's groin as his master began to thrust deep into his throat; the orgasm came swiftly, before he was ready, and he choked, gasping for breath as the Captain looked down into his flushed, sweating face._  
  
_"I have not finished with you," the deep voice purred. "Go and prepare yourself to receive me."_  
  
_Jim rose and moved into the sleeping cabin, where he stripped and lay down on the bed, his legs spread apart in anticipation of his master's wishes. The Captain followed and stood watching, idly sipping his wine._  
  
_"On your belly, I think," the Vulcan said at last, and Jim turned over, his face pressed sideways into the pillow as the Captain stripped off his robe and approached the bed, his hands reaching at once for the softly curving mounds of flesh._  
  
_There was no gentle love-play, no attempt to coax his body to readiness; hard fingers pried the ring of muscle open and entered him, twisting brutally as they burrowed deeper. Jim's spine arched as he convulsed under the pressure, and he trembled to hear the Vulcan's harsh breathing grow faster with excitement._  
  
_"Don't hurt me," he moaned, knowing even as made it that his plea would be ignored. The hand withdrew, he was pulled up onto his knees, and hot rigid flesh impaled him. The Captain's hand in his hair drove his upper body back until every muscle was taut; sharp teeth fastened in his throat as avid lips sucked greedily, and the Vulcan's free hand crept across his belly to pump him in rhythm with the violent thrusting that rammed painfully into his dry flesh - the Captain rarely used a lubricant, claiming that making penetration easier spoiled the pleasure he took in the Human's pain._  
  
_Jim sobbed and writhed helplessly, longing only for it to be over. His body responded to the skilled manipulation of his penis, even though he knew that his unwilling participation only inflamed his master further. He jerked convulsively as the relentless fingers milked him to climax, and at the same time a hot flood of semen spurted into his distended rectum. He was turned onto his back and the savage mouth explored him, nipping and biting. Hard fingers worked over him, trailing fire across his belly, the delicate skin of his inner thighs, until shamed desire began to build in him again. The mouth teased his sensitive, swollen nipples, lingering over them jealously, then travelled up his throat to fasten on his parted lips. A tongue probed deep, choking him, and he gasped for breath as it investigated his mouth. The Captain's penis nudged against his belly, and in response to a mental command he curled his fingers around it and stroked it gently, feeling it throb in his grasp._  
  
_The hands moved again, spreading his legs wide apart, then they cupped his buttocks so that his hips were lifted into the air. A sob escaped Jim as he felt the hard bulk press against muscle and he tensed, awaiting the thrusting pain. At least the Vulcan's semen was still wet inside him, and would ease the violence of the penetration._  
  
_He made no protest but the Captain, feeling the slim body flinch under his hands, paused and smiled thoughtfully; he then released Jim, lay down on his back, and commanded the Human to straddle his thighs. With Jim in position he slid his hands under the Human, lifted and opened him; Jim cried out as he was pulled sharply down, his own weight driving the invader deeper into his body. With a murmur of satisfaction the Captain reached up to finger erect nipples, then he slid his hand to the back of Jim's head and drew him down into a kiss._  
  
_Of all their intimacies Jim hated this the most as every part of his body was exposed to his master's greed. The tainted mind fastened eagerly on his, revelling in his shame and self-disgust, multiplying them a thousandfold as the Captain showed him how his own body betrayed him by co-operating in its defilement._  
  
_The thrusting of powerful hips brought the Vulcan to climax, but pressure on his penis denied the Human the same release; when the Vulcan at last pulled out of his body Jim slumped forward across his master's chest, miserably aware of the uncomfortable throbbing in his groin._  
  
_He knew better than to ask for release. When the Vulcan dismissed him he would be forced to find what satisfaction he could in masturbation. Perhaps the Captain would want to watch... like the times when he kept Jim with him for hours, tormenting him, stimulating him to the verge of climax, yet always, at the last possible moment, denying him release._  
  
_It seemed that on this occasion the Captain was simply ignoring his plight, for he touched Jim's hair lightly, smiled as he observed the slow tears of pain and humiliation that trickled from his closed eyes._  
  
_"You have pleased me well tonight, James - you may sleep." The deep voice was a slow, satisfied purr._  
  
_Gratefully, Jim began to pull himself up, but the Captain drew him back. "You will sleep here. I will have need of your services again in the morning. In fact... " he smiled wolfishly, "I wish to find myself in your mouth as I wake. Do I take myself understood?"_  
  
_"Yes, sir." Jim lay down again, and despite his discomfort sheer exhaustion soon drove him into a restless sleep._  
  
_Kirk lingered, wondering what would follow, why he had not wakened now the dream was over. And why, after so long, had such a dream returned at all; Spock had long since banished all such nightmares. Yet he felt no fear, only an intense pity for his younger, lonely self._  
  
_Then his gaze was drawn back to the bed as with infinite slowness the Captain moved, raising himself on one elbow so that he could look down at his sleeping victim. Light fingers brushed the Human's face, plunging him deeper into sleep, and the Vulcan bent lower._  
  
_Gentle lips brushed a pattern of kisses over the pale face, lingering over the delicate eyelids, savouring the curves of the small rounded ears, nuzzling into the hollow of the throat. They travelled across a shoulder and the moist tongue carefully traced the lines of the brand, then licked lightly down to caress the bruised nipples._  
  
_With a slow skimming touch the Captain explored the painfully-swollen genitals, stroking the thighs that even in sleep parted obediently to his touch; the dark head settled against the Human's belly, and the careful tongue worked delicately over his penis, licking gently, slowly, until Jim's body quivered in release._  
  
_Once more the mouth travelled up over belly, chest, throat to nibble lightly at the Human's lips, then the Captain propped himself up on the pillows, drew Jim across his lap and cradled him carefully, one hand smoothing the sweat-damp hair._  
  
_The Vulcan's cold face was soft, open, his movements slow and gentle; the watcher felt his heart convulse as for the first time he saw naked vulnerability in the dark eyes, now so like Spock's._  
  
_/Why couldn't you show me this when we were together?/ he called silently to the long-ago Vulcan. /We could have shared at least some moments of tenderness./_  
  
_There was no answer. There never would be._  
  
_The Captain drew back, studying the pale face, his eyes lingering on Jim's parted lips, then he bent his head and kissed him with a painful tenderness so like that other Vulcan that Kirk longed to comfort both these pathetic victims._  
  
_Gradually the vision darkened, faded, and Kirk awoke in his own bed; on his lips he tasted the salt of tears._  
  
Kirk sat up in bed, thinking over his dream and what it had shown him. Certainly it had renewed his conviction that in any relationship it was love that he sought - and Spock would give him that in full measure.  
  
He had learned, too, that he was still capable of sexual arousal. Strange as it seemed, watching the two dream-phantoms had produced an echo of response in his own body. He had wondered if that ability had died with the Captain.  
  
The most haunting memory of the dream was that vision of the Captain's moments of lonely, shamed tenderness. Of course, he had always thought that love would be gentle. He had known academically that sex was considered pleasant, although he had never known it to be so.  
   
Gradually he had come to realise that it was not the sex itself    he feared, but the violence and contempt that had always accompanied it for him, and now he knew that he could have welcomed and returned the love that the Captain had been too proud to show him.  
   
Love... that was what made the difference. Love and need and caring. Spock's love for him and his for Spock might, one day, overcome his fear of the physical pain that was all he had known of sex until now... and if it did, then he would truly be Spock's bondmate in flesh as well as in spirit.  
   
With mild astonishment he found that for the first time he was thinking of a sexual relationship without fear. He was not yet ready to offer himself to Spock with total honesty, and he would not, now, make the mistake of offering a sham; but now there was hope... if they were given time enough together.  
   
McCoy insisted that it would be better for Spock to recover from the ravages of pon farr in solitude; it would never do for the Clan to learn that he had deliberately come to Vulcan without his bondmate to avoid mating with him - and, as he thought, to die.  
   
Kirk, in turn, insisted on his right to accompany Spock; certain that he was back to normal and, desperately wanting his friend's company, Spock agreed with only a token protest.  
   
He remembered a quiet spot he had frequented back in his original universe; a tiny oasis, too small to be of any practical use to even the most optimistic of farmers, which he had discovered during the early days following the first Kirk's death. He had been restless, unable to relax, unable to attain a mental attitude even remotely conducive to meditation, and one day some weeks after the crowded, lonely funeral he had taken an aircar, avoiding the anxious Doctor whose watchful sympathy was suddenly unbearable, and gone off alone, seeking... he had no idea what. And he had found the oasis.  
   
A small spring fed a tiny pool of astonishingly cold water, the overhanging succulent 'trees' shadowing it and preventing the sun from heating the water. Where its outflow was he never discovered, but on that first visit his mind was too dulled by grief even to care.  
   
The plants grew thickly round the spring, forming a little island of vegetation, some two hundred yards across, with a fringe of sparser plants, smaller, many stunted by lack of water, others the hardiest of Vulcan's desert flora.  
   
The lonely little oasis had attracted him; in a strange way it had matched his desolate mood, and in its cool solitude he had found a sort of resigned peace.  
   
He had returned to it often, although until his appointment to the Vulcan Starbase he had of necessity been deprived for months at a time of its strange comfort.  
   
McCoy had noticed, of course, and finally Spock had confided in him, and had even, once, taken him to the oasis. The doctor had been slightly disturbed, Spock knew, but he also knew that the Human was glad that there was something - some place - that could give the Vulcan an illusion of comfort.  
   
Now memory of that haven returned to him, and Spock knew that if this universe held that oasis, that was the place to go. Arrangements for the few days they planned to spend alone were quickly made; T'Pau collected food for them, carefully selecting items she knew both liked and that would be easily prepared, while they packed a few clothes for the trip. In Kirk's case this was easily done, for he had brought very little with him.  
   
He wandered into Spock's room as the Vulcan finished packing his small bag, and Spock smiled at him. "Have you ever camped out, Jim?"  
   
"Once, as an Academy exercise." It had not been pleasant. The instructor had simply had groups of students given five minutes warning then flown out to a barren region some fifty miles from the Academy during the wet season. They had been given a packet of emergency rations each - and left to make their own way back.  
   
Kirk, a conscientious student who had paid more attention to the survival lectures than many of the others, found himself in charge by virtue of being the only one with more than a hazy idea of what to do.  
   
He had brought his group back within three days, with nothing more than a few chills to show for the experience, and had immediately been assigned for further command training - unknown to the students, their progress had been monitored all the way, and they had been marked on the exercise - but it had not been a pleasant experience.  
   
Even now, he was slightly unsure about this proposed jaunt, but Spock seemed keen... and not for anything would he say one word to let his friend suspect that he, Kirk, was less than equally keen.  
   
"That wasn't a good way to start." Spock knew Academy survival exercises and had unpleasant memories of his own. "You'll find this completely different. What equipment are you planning to take?"  
   
Kirk shrugged. "What I have. A change of clothes, toilet necessities..."  
   
"Uniform?" Spock glanced meaningly at Kirk's present dress. "Or some of your Vulcan clothes?"  
   
"None of my Vulcan clothes are exactly suitable for a camping expedition," Kirk pointed out. "Of course, neither is my uniform, strictly speaking, but it's more suitable than formal Vulcan rig out."  
   
"Hmmm. I had not thought of that. Come then, my friend, we must procure some casual wear for you."  
   
They paused long enough to check with Sarek for a suitable shop and set off, Kirk slightly nervously. The fact that Spock had taken a Human male as bondmate had caused a very polite, very dignified nine-days-wonder in Shikahr, and this was their first visit home since. Vulcan was to be his home from now on, and it was natural that Spock's neighbours and acquaintances should be curious about him, however well they concealed it. It was probably as well to get his first appearance over with quickly, he thought with resigned amusement.  
   
However, he had forgotten the Vulcan respect for privacy, a respect that forbade any of the slightly suggestive humour that so often greeted a newly-married couple among Humans; nobody they met gave any indication that they knew that the Human was anything other than a fellow officer of Captain Spock's. They returned carrying three sets of casual Vulcan dress in which Kirk felt slightly foolish, but in which Spock considered he looked quite striking.  
   
He packed these loose-fitting garments in place of the spare uniform he had brought and snapped the case shut, then said, "What about bedding?"  
   
Spock smiled slightly. "Packed. Two camp mattresses and sleeping bags. Also food and cooking utensils, sufficient for a week. Unfortunately we cannot stay longer - we must return to the ship."  
   
"I do feel slightly... guilty. It seems almost like deserting Bones."  
   
"He will be perfectly happy spending the week with T'Pau. You know how well they get on together."  
   
"Yes, I do know, but... "  
   
"Jim, are you afraid to be alone with me, now that I... "  
   
"No, Spock, I couldn't be afraid of you. Not after... You came here to die rather than do anything you thought might hurt me, when you knew, you must have remembered - that I would have come to you if I'd known." He hesitated. "Spock... next time... "  
   
Spock shook his head. "I do not know when that will be, Jim. As McCoy says, we do not know whether my cycle will follow that of this universe or the other one. But Jim - we do know that I can survive it."  
   
"No! Spock, I can't let you suffer... I won't."  
   
"We have already gone over this, Jim. I will not do anything to harm you."  
   
Kirk remembered how everything of his had remained untouched, undamaged. "I know."  
   
"You saw what I did to my room."  
   
"Frustration. You wouldn't do that to me." Even as he spoke Kirk wondered at his own confidence.  
   
"Perhaps not. But I also know how you hated the physical relationship that was forced on you by the Captain. What you always wanted was love, not sex. That I can give you. I know you would gladly endure the other for my sake, but if I were to take advantage of your willingness to help me, you would feel that I was using you - you wouldn't be able to help yourself. The reaction has become instinctive. Even with Karen Gallard... do you remember? Many women feel that men are simply using them; you felt that she was using you - and you almost hated her for it. I will not use you, Jim. I... care too much."  
   
"Oh Spock!" Touched beyond bearing, Kirk blinked back tears. "I do love you, you know."  
   
"I know... "  
 

***

  
   
Sarek took them to the little oasis, helped them unload their equipment, then looked inquiringly at Spock. "You are sure you have everything you need?"      
   
"Yes, Father. I double-checked."  
   
"I would prefer if you had some method of communicating with us. You never know... "  
   
"I had none when I undertook the Kahs-wan," Spock pointed out.  
   
Sarek frowned. This ritual was unknown to him since on this more barbaric Vulcan it was not necessary for young males to prove their fitness to survive - their everyday lives proved that - and he had been slightly shocked that any Vulcans, especially ones claiming to be more civilised, more peaceloving, should risk their sons so apparently callously. Spock had never quite managed to make him understand that even though civilised, his world had not wanted to see the race weakened; the Kahs-wan ritual had only been begun when his world had first made contact with Outworlders, and the Vulcans had seen how some races were softened, made decadent, by too advanced technology, too many of the comforts erroneously called 'civilisation' by advanced races.  
   
"Jim never had occasion to undertake a test of survival," Sarek pointed out.  
   
"True. But conditions here are pleasant, Father. We will be very comfortable."    
   
Sarek grunted, unconvinced, but both the younger men looked confident - he never did discover how much of Kirk's confidence was confidence in Spock - so he merely said, "Be careful, my sons. I will return for you at about the same hour a week from now."  
   
"We will be ready," Spock assured him.  
   
Sarek resumed his seat in the aircar and took off. Moved by a mutual impulse neither man stirred until the aircar vanished from both sight and hearing. Then, finally feeling themselves alone, they looked round.  
   
The oasis was similar to the one in the other universe, yet different, Spock realised. The little pool was smaller, with an outflow that, after a few feet, disappeared into the sand, leaving only a damp patch to show where it continued underground, presumably sinking deeper into the sand, for the dampness also lasted for only two or three feet. The same plants grew around the pool, but in different concentration, and here the continued course of the stream, tiny though it was, was marked by a line of plants that reached out into the desert for some fifty or sixty yards beyond the main cluster of vegetation.  
   
Near the pool, as he had hoped, Spock found a thick clump of succulents whose large fleshy leaves, growing out of each other, curled downwards, overlapping in thick profusion, after reaching a height of some six feet, until they touched the ground. Where they touched, the new leaves had thrown out roots, giving rise to a new plant. The result was a series of curved spaces, cool and almost completely enclosed, where they could shelter.  
   
Spock pushed aside some trailing 'branches' of linked leaves that had not yet reached the ground, showing Kirk the dim, cool, leafy cavern. "Our home for the next week, Jim."  
   
Kirk chuckled. "I wondered why you didn't bring a tent," he admitted. "But how did you know... ?"  
   
"These plants always grow near water," Spock told him. "This oasis - I could only hope that it was here, but had it not been we would have found another just as suitable.".  
   
"You knew such an oasis - from the other universe?"  
   
"Yes. I found it... after Jim Kirk died. It taught me... some degree of comfort, of acceptance, until I learned of the existence of the other universes. And now... I could think of no better place to relax, for either of us. Yes - I know that you were worried about me, tense... Here we will have no problems."  
   
They made camp quickly, pulling the mattresses into the cool green cave and laying the sleeping bags on top of them. Spock put Kirk near the inner wall of leaves, placing himself nearer the entrance, pointing out that should any wild carnivores decide to investigate, he was better able to deal with them than the inexperienced Human. There was little space left after both beds were in position, and they stored the food in a deeper cave that was entered by pushing aside some of the dangling leaves behind Kirk's bed. Cooking was best done outside, and they put the cooking utensils in a neighbouring cave.  
   
That done, they began to explore the small oasis, the scientist in each of them intent. Kirk in particular was fascinated by the tiny succulents that carpeted parts of the oasis; although in shade they seemed too small to survive the harsh conditions.  
   
"They are mostly young plants, sprouted the last time it rained," Spock told him. "Only a small percentage will develop further. See, this one is slightly bigger than the others. It is a survivor, strong, with a root system that enables it to obtain more water than the others."  
   
Kirk studied it carefully. "The ones around it are smaller than these others," he pointed out. "The big one is 'stealing' water from them."  
   
"The balance of nature, Jim. The strong prey on the weak."  
   
"It makes civilisation so unlikely it's a wonder it ever happens," Kirk said slowly.  
   
"Intelligence supersedes instinct."  
   
"Not always. It takes compassion, too - the wish to help the weaker. The strength to realise that helping others isn't weakness. The Captain was weak, Spock - that's one of the things I've come to realise. You made me see that he was insecure, but he was weak as well - too much ever to risk showing it." He hesitated. "He was terribly unhappy, you know."  
   
"He had everything he wanted." Even as he said it, Spock knew that his statement was incorrect.  
   
"No; he didn't. The one thing he wanted most of all was the one thing he could never have, because he deliberately destroyed it. You heard his tapes, Spock. He wanted me to love him - and deliberately made sure I never could. He wanted to be gentle with me - and the only times he ever was, was when I was asleep and couldn't know. My subconscious knew though... I've had some dreams recently... where I watched him holding my sleeping body and... well... loving me." He hesitated. "If He'd been as gentle when I was awake I could have gone to him willingly."  
   
"And still hated it, I think," Spock said.  
   
"You know, I'm not so sure... I can think without fear of lying in your arms."  
   
"Because you know I won't touch you," Spock said quietly and a trifle wryly.  
 

***

  
   
They explored the area around the oasis as the days passed, finding traces here and there of animal life. They sat up late on the third night watching the pool in the faint starlight, seeing the dim shapes of animals come and go - more animals than Kirk, at least, would have expected and a wider range of species, too, mostly small. There were none of the larger carnivores that Spock had half expected.  
   
They woke on the fourth morning to changed weather. A strong wind made their shelter sway alarmingly, even though both men knew well that the pliant succulents that made up the clump could stand up to the conditions better than any tent would have done.  
   
Kirk propped himself up on one elbow, peering past Spock's bed, prevented from seeing out by the continual movement of the fleshy leaves of the plant as they swayed in the wind. Spock sat up. Kirk climbed out of his sleeping bag and joined him, the wind striking cold on his naked body - neither had brought nightwear, on Spock's assurance that in sleeping bags they would be warmer without.  
   
The succulent forest was swaying wildly; sand was whirled along in a mad rush.  
   
They dressed hastily and ventured out, both men wondering what the driving sand was doing to the plants around the edge of the 'forest'.  
   
It was - predictably - burying the smaller ones.  
   
The green carpet of young plants was disappearing inexorably. Although he knew it was an inevitable facet of nature, Kirk couldn't help but feel sorry for the tiny plants, struggling so tenaciously for life in this inhospitable waste, that were being smothered.  
   
A sudden chill made him look up. Clouds, sprung from nowhere, covered the sun. There was a jagged flicker of light followed by a dull rumble only moments later.  
   
Spock grabbed Kirk's arms and pulled him, not back towards their camp as he would have expected, but under the shelter of a smaller succulent of the same type that grew only yards away. Even as they ducked under the fleshy curtain the first raindrops splashed heavily. Within seconds the rain was a solid sheet of water that would have soaked them long before they reached the shelter of 'their' bush.  
   
They sat on the ground under an umbrella of linked leaves, watching the storm. Lightning, more vivid than Kirk would have imagined possible, flashed, splitting sometimes into half-a-dozen forks as it sparked down. Thunder growled incessantly, making speech impossible.  
   
With the coming of the rain the wind seemed to have dropped. The ground now was a wet, muddy mess; only under their shelter was the ground at all dry, and even there the damp was beginning to; creep inwards.  
   
And then, as suddenly as it had come, the storm was gone. The sky cleared and brightness replaced the overcast gloom. A last few drops of moisture dripped with a faint splash from the ends o£ the succulent leaves or cactus spines; in the distance a faint rumble showed that the storm had merely moved on, not ended.  
   
The ground that only minutes before had been running with water was dry again; only the firm dampness showing that it had been wet at all.    
   
Spock ducked out from cover, followed by Kirk. "That was some storm," the Human murmured.  
   
"Now you know why I chose a natural shelter rather than a tent," Spock said. "A tent would never have survived that."  
   
"But... you didn't know there would be a storm - did you?"  
   
"No - but in the desert the possibility always exists. The one rule to remember is, find some sort of shelter immediately - even half under a rock is better than nothing. I do not even know whether to say we were fortunate or not, to experience one... fortunate, I think, for it will let you see a facet of the desert that few Vulcans ever observe, let alone Outworlders."  
   
Kirk looked thoughtful, "On Earth, after rain, the desert blossoms."  
   
"It is so here, also - but not as Earth does."  
   
They started back towards their camp, but after a few steps Kirk paused, looking down. Two or three pathetic-looking spots of green just showed on the surface; moved by an impulse he could not define, he bent and carefully scooped away the sand from around them, leaving fully half their height still covered rather than risk uncovering too much. Spock watched understandingly.  
   
"They still may not survive," Kirk said, "but it gives them a fighting chance."  
   
When they reached their shelter they stopped, staring in dismay. Some of the overhanging leaves had been torn away by the force of the storm; Spock's bed dripped wetly, his sleeping bag saturated.  
   
They investigated further. Kirk's bed was perfectly dry. Their stores were dry. Only Spock's bed had suffered.  
   
"The heat will soon dry it," Spock commented with suspicious cheerfulness. Together they wrung out as much water as they could from the sleeping bag and draped it over a neighbouring cactus where it caught the direct rays of the sun. The mattress was a different matter; they could do nothing to wring it out and could only prop it against another cactus to drip - and hopefully to evaporate off some of the water.  
   
The little pool, too, had blown almost full of sand, but a tiny fountain and a trickle of water showed where the spring still flowed. They scooped out handfuls of sand, thinking both of the animals who depended on this water, and of their own need for it.  
   
Lightheartedly, Kirk piled his handfuls of sand into a heap; then when they were satisfied that the pool had regained its former dimensions he began to work on the pile, attempting to shape it.  
   
Spock watched, puzzled. After a while, defeated by the too-rapid drying of the sand, Kirk looked up to chuckle at the blank incomprehension on his friend's face.  
   
"A traditional human pursuit," he explained, "although I don't know its origins. Building sandcastles."  
   
"It seems rather... pointless. The medium does not appear very suitable."  
   
Kirk laughed. "It isn't. It's a child's play, really, though given damp enough sand it is possible to produce quite a work of art. I believe this - " he indicated the crumbling pile at his feet - "dried out too fast. It seems that we Humans have to get childish pursuits out of our systems when we grow up if we don't do it as children.  I always wanted a holiday at the seaside."  
   
"I regret that Vulcan does not have..."  
   
"No, Spock, I have outgrown it - really I have, but the temptation to build a castle with all that wet sand was irresistible." He chuckled again. "What it does prove is how much I'm enjoying all this peace and quiet. No responsibilities. I'm looking forward to getting back to the ship, but for the moment I could wish this week would last forever."  
   
"You are truly happy?"  
   
"Yes, And you, Spock? Are you happy?"  
   
"Now could I not be happy? To be here... with you... knowing that for a few days danger no longer touches you... I also wish this week could last forever."  
   
"Oh, Spock." Impulsively Kirk gripped Spock's arms. "Spock... Sarek won't come to check we are all right, will he?"  
   
"After the storm? No. It's doubtful if he even knows there has been one. Such things are usually very local in their occurrence."  
   
"Then we still have three days. Let's make the most of them."  
 

***

  
   
Towards evening they made their way back from a leisurely inspection of a mound of rocks some half-mile from the oasis. Split by the alternating heat and cold of Vulcan days and nights, rough edges worn smooth by the friction of wind-blown sand, the rocks offered little scope for study, but were merely an excuse for a stroll. Kirk was glad on this day of his loose-fitting Vulcan clothes; in the oasis the plants offered shade and seemed to absorb much of the heat, but out here in the desert he realised that he would soon have been quite badly burned if he been wearing uniform.  
   
They prepared a meal of toorits. Kirk had never been able to ascertain whether these should be called vegetable or fruit, but had long since decided that it didn't matter. Highly nourishing, incredibly filling, toorits were ideal for replacing lost energy, and were easily prepared.  
   
Satisfied, they sat back in the last rays of the setting sun, relaxing silent in easy companionship. As the sun slid below the horizon Kirk sat up, feeling more energetic in the slightly cooler twilight.  
   
"I hope your mattress is dry."  
   
"I would doubt it, but the ground is comfortable enough," Spock said casually. "If you would be so good as to check it, I will fetch the sleeping bag."  
   
When Kirk returned empty handed - the mattress, though much drier, was still indubitably damp - Spock had already carried the sleeping bag into their shelter.  
   
"Why not share my mattress?" Kirk asked as he ducked in. "It's big enough for two since neither of us is a restless sleeper."  
   
"I will be perfectly all right on the ground," Spock repeated.  
   
"Spock, don't be silly," Kirk argued. "I know you've no designs on my virtue. Please, Spock, I wouldn't sleep easily, knowing that you... " He broke off, staring accusingly at the Vulcan in the near dark cave as, reaching out to pull the sleeping bag over towards him, he discovered that it too was still wet. "Spock!"  
   
The Vulcan sighed. "The material of which it is made requires fully two days to dry out," he admitted quietly.  
   
"And you weren't going to tell me. Spock, the nights are cold. You'd have frozen."  
   
"I did not want to worry you."  
   
"Well, you can't sleep in a wet sleeping bag, and you'll freeze without. There is only one thing to do. Share mine."  
   
"Jim... "  
   
"Please, Spock. It's something I can do for you. Not much, but something."      
   
""I know you dislike physical contact... "  
   
"I'm not afraid with you, Spock. If you don't come in beside me, I'm not going to bed either."  
   
"It is not logical for you to suffer because I... "  
   
"Is it logical to make me suffer because you won't accept a little help from me? Please - if you won't do it for yourself, do it for me... "  
   
"Jim, what can I say but 'thank you'?"  
   
They undressed and slipped into the bag. It was a fairly tight fit, and they quickly discovered that the most comfortable position was lying with their arms around each other. Kirk sleepily murmured something inaudible as he settled his head on Spock's shoulder; Spock quietly pressed his cheek to the Human's forehead and closed his eyes, gratefully accepting this little part of what he actually wanted.  
 

***

  
   
Kirk woke some hours later, confused by the naked body lying beside him. It had been so long since... fear surged for a moment, the adrenalin waking him completely, then subsided. No. This was Spock; and Spock would never harm him.  
   
It was so pleasant lying here... the warm body pressing close but undemanding, the lips that just - just barely - touched his temple, and if he moved just a little...  
   
His mouth brushed the motionless shoulder. The warm skin felt pleasant under his lips, tempting him to repeat the caress. Spock's neck was close; Kirk raised a hand slowly to hold Spock's head steady and then lightly kissed his throat. "Oh Spock," he breathed, "I love you so much." He lay still again, enjoying the undemanding intimacy. The short hair felt soft under his hand and he began to stroke it absently, not really aware of what he was doing. The hand slipped from soft hair to warm skin and he stroked that curiously, wondering at its smoothness. Smooth and velvet soft... So pleasant, touching it... So pleasant, the body so close to his... If only it were closer...  
   
Yes... yes, he could press closer to it... hold it close - to Spock...  
   
Memory of his last dream intruded, the picture of the Captain caressing his sleeping body, Was this how He had felt then? No, surely not - or if He had felt this, how could He have used the cruelty He did? Yet... what had He felt?  
   
It didn't matter. This was how it should have felt. And with that realisation Kirk knew that he was truly no longer afraid. With the right partner this was a thing of beauty to enjoy.  
   
He lifted his hand to Spock's hair once more and raised his own head. His lips found Spock's; with a sudden need to taste Spock's mouth he thrust his tongue between the Vulcan's lips - and they opened to him in passive response.  
   
Startled, he raised his head, but could only see the dim shape of the Vulcan's face. Quietly Spock murmured, "Kiss me again... "  
 

***

  
   
Kirk woke, aware of a new feeling of satisfaction, both mental and physical, that was completely new to him. For a moment he lay savouring the utter content, then because conscious of the body beside him, the arms that held him comfortingly close, and memory returned.  
   
The warmth of Spock's mouth, open under his; the ecstatic writhing of the Vulcan's body as he explored it; the moment he had thought he was hurting Spock and stopped what he was doing only to hear the Vulcan gasp,  
   
"Don't stop, Jim... don't stop!" and resume his soft moaning as Kirk continued his tactile study of his friend's body; and finally the ecstasy of an orgasm Spock had shared, clinging tightly to him as their semen flooded their bellies. Exhausted, fulfilled, Kirk had replaced his head on Spock's shoulder, snuggling closer... and now he was awake and remembering and wondering what Spock's reaction would be.  
   
He did not have long to wait. Spock stirred, and Kirk raised his head. Their eyes met. There was just enough light for Kirk to see the happiness in Spock's face, and it dispelled his apprehension.  
   
"Hello, Spock," he murmured.  
   
"Jim... " Spock's hand moved to caress the buck of his neck and he moaned softly, lowering his lips to kiss Spock's neck. "That's nice," the Vulcan whispered.  
   
"You don't mind?" Kirk asked tentatively.  
   
"I want it... but only if you, also, truly want it."  
   
"After last night, can you doubt it?"  
   
"One always doubts the achieving of one's heart's desire, Jim. Oh Jim... reassure me!"  
   
Kirk pressed his lips to Spock's, tongue probing urgently. Spock responded, wrapping his tongue around Kirk's and sucking it hungrily... They kissed for long minutes, finally forced to break apart to breathe. Kirk rubbed his cheek against Spock's, leaning forward to nibble an elegantly pointed ear. Spock tightened his hold.  
   
Slowly, Kirk slid one hand down the Vulcan's body to cup a lean buttock and pull Spock's hips closer. Their genitals touched and Kirk rubbed himself sensuously against the warm, responsive Vulcan, feeling both organs swelling, pressing against their bellies; wondering at the joy he now felt in his body's response, the pleasure he felt in his partner's. Spock's arms held him close. He lay kissing his friend's neck and shoulder, whispering over and over, "I love you... Spock, I love you so much. Hold me... " But increasing desire quickly made it impossible to remain like that. He had to have more...  
   
It was still cool in their shelter, but the night chill had gone, and Kirk pushed the sleeping bag down, baring their bodies. Memory of some of the Captain's caresses returned. Perhaps, if taken gently... He lowered his head and allowed his mouth to touch the aureole of a nipple, brushing it lightly. It tightened under his lips and he ran his tongue tip over it. The sensation was remarkably pleasant and Spock's soft moan sounded contented. Kirk repeated the caress on the other nipple.  
   
"That is... very pleasant," Spock whispered.  
   
Kirk raised his head. "I can only guess what'll be good for you," he said. "I know what He liked... but He preferred to get my reaction from pain, so it was never good for me. You must tell me if I hurt you."  
   
"Yes," Spock murmured, "but I am sure you won't. Don't stop, Jim. In this you are my teacher... and I want to learn."  
   
It reminded Kirk that Spock had been - or thought he had been - impotent up to now. No wonder he had lain last night in passive acceptance - he was completely inexperienced. Last night had been his first time...  
   
In a way it had also been Kirk's first time, for his had always been the passive role - and he had always been unwilling. He kissed Spock's mouth gently, then returned to the stimulation of the taut nipples.  
   
The swollen penis pressing against him drew him further down Spock's body.  
   
He had always hated the occasions when the Captain had used his mouth, thrusting fiercely between his lips; but now Kirk kissed Spock's pulsing organ gently. Without fear or revulsion he drew the head into his mouth and sucked lovingly.  
   
Spock's hand touched his head, and for an instant he was back in the past, waiting for the merciless thrust that drove deep into his throat, choking him. Instead, gentle fingers caressed his hair, his neck, sending thrills down his spine, and he resumed the slow sucking with renewed confidence.  
   
Spock stroked Kirk's hair, his neck, his shoulders, aware of his friend's sudden apprehension and understanding it. He had to believe that Kirk wanted this, but it could not be easy for him.  
   
Although inexperienced, the Vulcan was not without some technical knowledge that until now had been academic, and of course there were the fantasies his tortured mind had conjured up so recently while in the throes of pon farr. But he knew it would be best to let Kirk gain confidence, proceed at his own pace. Last night Spock's inexperienced body had responded quickly to the simplest of stimuli, and he had asked for nothing more. Today was much the same, although Kirk had clearly progressed in assurance - but there was time and time enough for the more exotic techniques that he knew they would one day share. The further steps towards increased passion would have to come from Kirk; for the moment it was enough to share this simple and tender, gentle lovemaking. Perhaps even this was too much too quickly? Lovingly he stroked the bright hair.  
   
"Jim," he whispered hoarsely, "you need not... The touch of your hand is enough... "  
   
Kirk raised his head for a moment, and at the expression in his eyes Spock's doubts faded.  
   
"Show me," the Vulcan murmured. "Show me... "  
 

***

  
   
Kirk carefully draped the still damp sleeping bag where it would catch the sun, and turned back to where Spock was preparing breakfast - a meal that might more accurately be called lunch, Kirk reflected, for they had lain for a long time enjoying the relaxed aftermath of orgasm, savouring without haste their new closeness, before getting up, and it was now nearly midday.    
   
He sank down beside his friend. "It should be dry by tonight?" he asked.  
   
"It should."  
   
Kirk grinned, "You won't need it, though."  
   
"No," Spock said, "I don't suppose I will." He slipped an arm around Kirk, pulling him back to rest against his shoulder.  
   
Kirk rubbed his head against Spock's cheek. The Vulcan gave a soft moan of content, then with an effort said, "Lunch, Jim. We must eat."  
   
"I suppose so."  
   
They ate quickly, discovering once they had started that they were indeed hungry, then with everything cleaned and stored away again Spock said, "Come, Jim, I want to show you the desert now."  
   
They walked through the cactus wood to its edge, and Kirk stared, fascinated, at the blaze of colour in front of him. He moved forward, awed, to bend and examine the plants that had sprung up overnight. Their stems, looking too delicate to hold up the huge flower-heads, with tendrils like leaves; brilliantly coloured flowers in a variety of shades, strongly scented, drawing insects that surely hadn't been there before...  
   
"The scent draws them from as far away as fifty miles," Spock explained quietly, recognising his friend's bewilderment. "They can fly that distance in three or four hours. The first flowers appeared at dawn; I meant you to see it then, but we had... other concerns."  
   
"It's beautiful," Kirk murmured. "How long does this - " he indicated the brilliant carpet - "last?"  
   
"By tomorrow it will be gone, and the seeds will lie dormant until the next rain."  
   
"I'd like to take some seeds back," Kirk said thoughtfully.  
   
"Difficult - they are not easy to collect."  
   
"A spadeful of sand," Kirk said. "It should contain quite a few."  
   
"Yes, of course."  
   
"And I could always take a few seedpods. What of the succulents?" Kirk went on.  
   
"Are slower to sprout, but germination has begun," Spock assured him. "And there will be more to see later, too."  
   
Kirk smiled. "I'm glad it rained," he said and he was not thinking solely of the display in front of him.  
   
"So am I," said Spock quietly. And he was not thinking of the flowers at all.  
   
They spent the afternoon among the flowers, studying as botanists the several different types of plants that grew here - different species, but alike in their adaptation to the arid conditions.  
   
"I don't expect I'll get all of them," Kirk said, "even if I manage to germinate them. But it'll be fun trying."

 

***

  
   
As the day wore on the brilliant colours faded, the petals drooped and fell. Seedpods, already swollen, began to dry and open.  
   
Kirk got one of their now empty containers and picked some of the pods that looked almost dry enough to burst, trying to gather as many different species as possible. "They may continue to ripen right up to the moment of bursting," he commented, "but it's worth trying."  
   
"You should have been a gardener, Jim," Spock said, mildly amused by his friend's enthusiasm.  
   
"As a scientist I can try out gardening techniques and still do a lot more," Kirk replied calmly.  
   
They returned to their shelter for the evening meal as soon as the sun dropped towards the horizon. Nothing was left now of the colourful display of noon save a few withering petals; but the ground o£ the oasis was a shimmer of green.  
   
"More succulents?" Kirk asked.  
   
"Yes."  
   
"How many... "  
   
"Perhaps one out of all of them will survive," Spock reminded him.    
   
"I know, and we'll kill so many just walking over them."  
   
"It may give the ones at the edge of our footprints a better chance," Spock pointed out.  
   
"I know," Kirk repeated.  
 

***

  
   
Bedtime that night was not delayed. Kirk was surprised at the eager anticipation that filled him as he undressed and slipped into his sleeping bag. Naked, Spock hesitated, looking down at him, and he held out an inviting hand, guessing at, and appreciating, his friend's wish to be certain that he was welcome.  
   
"Don't keep me waiting, Spock."  
   
"You are... sure? No second thoughts?"  
   
"Plenty." Kirk smiled up at him. "And they're all the same as the first ones. Come here and kiss me."  
   
Spock slid into the bag and kissed his bondmate, reveling in the cool touch of the Human's skin. They clung together, mouths meeting hungrily. Their tongues touched and caressed,  
   
Spock ran a hand across Kirk's back, and the Human tried to press closer. "Spock... Oh Spock... Mmmmmm..."  
   
"This is good for you?" A finger tantalised the base of his spine. "I know so little... You also must tell me if I hurt you, Jim. Promise me - you'll tell me if I hurt you."  
   
"You won't hurt me. Don't stop..."  
   
"Not deliberately." Spock resumed his gentle kneading of Kirk's buttocks. "But I might hurt you without meaning to. You must tell me if I do."  
   
Kirk again tried to wriggle his hips closer to Spock, "All right. But... mmm... I know you won't. Ah!" He caught his breath in a gasp of ecstasy.  
   
Spock took his lips again, tongue probing sensuously. Kirk opened his mouth wide, welcoming the searching tongue, clinging to Spock's head, holding it close. Spock thrust his hips against Kirk's, grinding their genitals together, and Kirk grunted deep in his throat as he thrust back. "Spock... "  
   
"Yes, Jim?"  
   
"Meld with me... "  
   
"If I do now, it will complete the bonding - you will have no defences against me. Your mind will be mine, to take when I will - and I will take it, Jim."  
   
"But not abuse it. I trust you, beloved. Meld with... Aaaah!" Pleasure filled him, dimming the physical ecstasy he was already experiencing into nothingness.  
   
/You are mine./  
   
/Yes. And you are mine./  
   
The physical need was gone, annihilated by a spontaneous orgasm at the moment of mental fusion, and Kirk nuzzled close, feeling safe and utterly happy, Spock's love for him enfolding him as securely as his arms did, realising that his own love and trust gave Spock the same sense of utter security.  
   
Mentally and physically happy, Human and Vulcan slept.  
 

***

  
   
They woke to find colour covering the succulents. Every one was a blaze of colour as hundreds of blossoms opened to the sun. Small in comparison to the size of the plants, each blossom was actually slightly larger than the ones they had studied the previous day.  
   
"They required longer to bud," Spock explained.  
   
 "And they just last a day, too?" Kirk asked.  
   
"Yes. And then the seeds lie dormant until the next rain."  
   
Kirk spared a look at the ground. Much of it was bare again.  
   
"The seedlings... " he said.  
   
"Mostly die," Spock replied. "The sun has already proved too strong for most of them."  
   
Sure enough, only where there was shade was there still a green carpet.  
   
"Those ones stand more chance - any of them may prove strong enough to be the survivor."  
   
Kirk took a deep breath. "No point in getting depressed about it," he said. "As you said, it's the way of nature."  
 

***

  
   
They spent part of the day exploring the area for other things the rain might have caused, but with little success. The animals seemed unaffected, only the plants showed any change, and neither man felt like exploring these again that day.  
   
"Come evening... if I spread something on the ground, the seeds should spray onto it," Kirk said. "Until then..." He looked at Spock. "This is our last day here..."  
   
"Did you have any particular... activity... in mind?" Spock asked.  
   
"Just... Let's find somewhere comfortable where we can sit down and... well, just be together."  
   
They found a patch of shade beside the pool overlooking a particularly brilliantly coloured plant and settled down, Spock's arm around Kirk's shoulders. The Human snuggled close, head pillowed on Spock's shoulder, opening his mind invitingly... and Spock entered gently to draw Kirk's mind into a mental embrace, as loving and tender as the physical one.  
   
Kirk said very little for the remainder of the afternoon; he seemed a little abstracted, but Spock could sense no distress through the bond and the glances they exchanged were warmly affectionate as they busied themselves around the camp in the cool of early evening, packing what they could to save time in the morning. Spock then prepared their meal while Kirk went to spread some of the protective packing from their supplies around the succulents. He returned looking hopeful.  
   
"I should get some of the seeds," he reported. "I wonder if they'll germinate? I must speak to Sulu about creating more space in the Botany Section."  
   
"Later will do for that," Spock said firmly, gently wiping a powdering of sand from his bondmate's cheek. "The food is ready, and it would be wasteful to allow it to spoil."  
   
"I think you and Bones have some sort of conspiracy going," Kirk said dryly as he sat down by the fire and accepted his plate. "You both seem determined to make me put on weight..."  
   
"Of course," Spock replied smoothly and without any hint of a smile. "As Surak remarked, prominent bones are not a desirable physical attribute in a bondmate. Bruising, you understand," he added in explanation.  
   
Kirk stared. "I don't believe for one second that Surak ever had anything to say about the physical... uh - attributes suitable for a bondmate," he charged.  
   
"You may be correct," Spock admitted, then he sighed. "I have often noted that the Precepts tend to be sadly impractical at times." Then, as Kirk stared open-mouthed at this rank heresy, he added thoughtfully, "Of course, had Surak been privileged to have you as bondmate, T'hy'la, I suspect he would have paid a little more attention to the aesthetic qualities of life, and less to the philosophic."  
   
"I think," Kirk said faintly, "that I've just been outrageously complimented."  
   
Once more they sought the shelter of their bed with barely-concealed eagerness, but as he took Kirk in his arms Spock was aware of a trembling anticipation in the cool body. He said nothing, only dedicated himself to following his bondmate's lead once more - it was his greatest fear that he might ask too much and so reawaken old fears.  
   
For a time they lay exchanging the gentle caresses both found so pleasant until Kirk suddenly hid his face in Spock's neck and whispered urgently, "Spock?"  
   
"Yes, Jim?"  
   
"Is it considered - uh - proper for me to... I mean, can I ask for what I want, or would that be thought forward?"  
   
"Between bondmates, nothing can be improper or forbidden if both consent to it. And sharing as we do the deepest intimacy of all, that of the mind, all else is part of that ultimate unity. If there is something you wish, Jim, you need only ask me for it, as I have the right to ask you."  
   
Kirk pulled back slightly until he could look into the smiling eyes; his own expression was a mixture of love and determination. "I want you to make love to me," he said quietly. "I want you to take my body and make it yours. Let me feel you inside me - burn away the last of the... the foulness and make me clean. Make it as though nobody ever touched me but you. This time it's my choice, Spock. My need, my... desire."  
   
Carefully Spock touched his bondmate's mind. If this offer was prompted only by Kirk's wish to serve at pon farr, he would refuse it. They knew that he could survive the Time, and the intimacies they had already shared would make the lack of consummation much easier to bear.  
   
Assurance flowed lovingly over him. Kirk, happy and confident in his love, had such trust in his bondmate that it did not even occur to him that he could be hurt. Although the same physical actions would be involved, the thought of Spock's lovemaking was a flame of happiness in Kirk's mind, while the memory of the Captain's was a scar that he longed to erase.  
   
"So, T'hy'la." Spock drew back slightly to look into the hazel eyes. "You manipulate me shamelessly. Once again it seems you will have what you want."  
   
Unrepentant, Kirk grinned like an urchin. "You want it too," he said.  
   
Then speech was unnecessary as their minds and bodies spoke for them.  
   
Kirk had imagined himself making love with Spock. He had even visualised how it would be when the Vulcan took possession of his body. Spock would be gentle; he would be patient; he would not bruise, or tear, or hurt. It wouldn't be as exciting as the touch of strong hands and softly sucking mouth had been - how could it be? Pleasure in that act was for the dominant partner - his satisfaction would come from giving to Spock.  
   
The reality was almost too much for him to bear. Never had he been handled with such delicacy, such care. Having known only the violence of lust he was overwhelmed by how different this was as Spock tenderly prepared him.  
   
It seemed impossible that two men could perform the same actions so differently. So careful was Spock that Kirk was not even aware of the moment when warm fingers entered his body; only gradually did he become aware of them as they stroked and circled, conjuring the most exquisite sensations, so that he threw back his head and moaned softly.  
   
"Gently, gently." Spock's free hand stroked back the sweat-soaked hair from his forehead. "There is all the time we need. Is there any discomfort, T'hy'la?"  
   
"None," Kirk gasped. "It feels... I can't begin to tell you how it feels. I never realised it could be like this. So much time wasted... " He arched again, welcoming the slowly moving fingers as they pressed deeper, scarcely aware in his excitement that they were dilating him, preparing him for a larger, more forceful insertion.  
   
Spock knelt at last over the body of his mate, knowing that Kirk was ready for him. The Human lay open and waiting, so terribly vulnerable in this moment as he lay trembling with anticipation, his eyes full of trust as he smiled shakily up at his lover.  
   
"Now. Please," Kirk whispered, knowing that this first time he would have to ask. "Now, Spock." He had to be afraid, had to be remembering in some corner of his mind how terrible this act had once been, but there was no trace of fear in his mind or in the serene eyes.  
   
It was Spock who hesitated, desperately conscious of his own lack of skill, racked with fear that something could go wrong, that he could lose Kirk in the very moment he thought finally to win him. His limbs seemed frozen. He could not move. It was too much to ask... He closed his eyes, shaking his head in denial.  
   
Soft, husky laughter rang in his ears. "So, my Vulcan, you can be afraid too. No need. You could never harm me... "  
   
Cool fingers encircled his swollen flesh and he was guided to the safe haven of sweet, moist flesh, sinking deep into the longed-for sanctuary as Kirk's hips lifted for him. He opened his eyes then, and as his gaze locked with Kirk's, all doubts and fears fled as they shared the wonder and delight of this moment of joining, the joy of taking and being taken.  
   
This was meant to be. Their bodies fitted together as though designed by some master craftsman in the beginning of time for this purpose, for this moment. Their minds reached out, entwining and enfolding, each sustaining the other until the new entity created from their love was the most real and vital thing in the universe. Kirk had thought the bond alive and beautiful until now; as their physical union strengthened it, it flamed into a new loveliness so that he could scarcely believe that he could be partly responsible for its birth.  
   
Slowly he became aware of Spock's body moving within his, of the Vulcan's hands kindling more and more physical pleasure. This - he turned from the pure but abstract beauty of the bond to share with his lover.  
   
Kirk became dimly aware that even now something was still lacking, something more was as yet needed to bring the exquisite thing to full and radiant perfection. Something... something he must give... For a moment he knew what it was, then a door closed firmly in his mind. What more could there be than this? It was a foolishness even to think of it... Then he was floating in Spock's embrace, his mind and body shattering by the rapture of an orgasmic pleasure he had never imagined in his most wistful dreams.  
 

***

  
   
Kirk was wakened in the morning by gentle hands caressing him lightly and lips that nibbled seductively at his ear. With a soft moan he reached out to cling to the warm body beside him, responding gladly to the gentle stimulation. Spock's mouth moved to cover his, hungry yet very, very tender; it was Kirk who deepened the kiss to passionate intensity.  
   
/Strange... so strange,/ Kirk thought. /To fear this for so long and now to want it so badly./  
   
The physical satisfaction of a few hours ago was gone, replaced by a growing and urgent desire to experience once again that incredible joining.  
   
"Love me," he whispered as Spock raised his head to gaze down at him with an almost anxious query of, _Are you all right?_ in his eyes.  
   
"You mean that?" Spock asked, his voice trembling. "You... it truly pleased you?"    
   
Kirk sighed. "Doesn't the bond tell you I'm happy? It felt wonderful... and I want - I need to feel it again. And Sarek will be here today," he added, regret tinging his voice. "On the ship we won't always be able to sleep together when we want to. Our shifts won't always coincide. You do want to do it again, don't you?"  
   
"Yes... I want to make love with you." Spock looked down and kissed Kirk's mouth softly. "But Jim... this time... this time I want... I would like... I would very much wish to... to feel you within my body."  
   
Startled, Kirk stared at him, fear once more overwhelming desire. "Spock, no! I'd hurt you."  
   
"Did I hurt you, T'hy'la?"  
   
"No, but... but I'm... used to being penetrated, even though it's been a while. You... you never have been..."  
   
"No, Jim, - but I want to be. By you," Spock said, allowing his longing to echo in his voice. _And it is necessary, if our bond is to be completed,_ his thought continued, though he carefully hid it from his bondmate.  
   
Kirk looked slightly doubtful, but he responded willingly to Spock's urgent kiss, rousing quickly as the already familiar fingers closed around his swelling organ, stroking, caressing, tantalising.  
   
And... he did want Spock. He longed to experience the joy of giving Spock the same pleasure that Spock had given him these few short hours before. More, Spock wanted it - wanted to submit to Kirk's domination, wanted to love him - not passively, never passively, if Kirk's memory of his own reaction was any guide - while his bondmate took him.  
   
Satisfied that Kirk was fully aroused, Spock rolled over, pulling Kirk on top of him. "Take me, Jim," he gasped. "Take me!"  
   
Kirk's tongue tip protruded slightly between his lips in concentration as he positioned himself carefully. The feel of the tight pucker of muscle against the tip of his organ was exciting, and he wanted more. Slowly, he began to press himself against it, felt the moist flesh open to him...  
   
... and as fear of hurting his virgin bondmate, nervousness of doing this thing that he had never done before, stabbed through him, his organ softened instantly, his erection withering.  
   
Jim's disappointment tightened his throat. "Spock, I'm sorry... I can't, I'm too afraid of hurting you... I don't have Vulcan control... Maybe later, when I've had more time to... to get used to it... I'm so sorry..."  
   
Spock drew a deep breath, resolutely controlling his almost unbearable need to submit and, in submitting, to complete the bond.  
   
"There will be time enough." He spoke quietly, although he wanted to cry. _Foolish,_ he told himself fiercely in the privacy of his deepest thoughts. _You have so much now, so much more than you ever thought to have, and there is indeed time. There is always tomorrow, or next week; or next year. It will come. And however long it takes, I must never let Jim know how very much it matters..._  
   
He kissed Kirk gently, rousing him again, and this time he obeyed his bondmate's silent plea and sank slowly, sensuously, smoothly into Jim's welcoming body, enjoying and revelling in the Human's uninhibited response.  
 

***

  
   
It was time to leave. Their equipment was packed and ready, and they passed the last minutes until Sarek's arrival sitting by the pool. Kirk lifted Spock's hand and pressed it to his cheek.  
   
"Since you came, I've been so happy," he said quietly. "I never thought there could be anything more. But there is... and you gave it to me."  
   
Spock leaned forward to brush Kirk's temple with his lips. "I, too, have found joy," he whispered unsteadily. "A joy the world of my birth denied me." He glanced at Kirk, a teasing smile on his lips. "This Vulcan has one advantage over the other," he observed.  
   
"Oh?"  
   
"There, any display of emotion is considered in bad taste. I fear I would cause offence each time I looked at you. To see you is to feel the need to touch you, to touch you is..."  
   
"Spock!" Kirk coloured fiercely as he read the rest of the thought in his bondmate's mind. He settled closer, resting his head on the Vulcan's shoulder. "This is a special place for us," he murmured.  
   
Spock's arm tightened. "We will return," he promised. Reluctantly, he released Kirk, stood up, and pulled the Human to his feet. "I hear an aircar," he explained. "Unfortunately, Sarek is exactly on time."  
   
"Punctuality can be a very annoying trait at times," Kirk agreed as they walked back to their camp.  
   
The last evening was spent quietly with Sarek, T'Pau and McCoy. After dinner they moved into the sitting room. Kirk and Spock occupied themselves by the fire, T'Pau worked on some sketches for a bronze head of McCoy that she was contemplating, and the doctor sat for her, holding position as she found the pose she wanted. Sarek was sitting beside her, going over some papers he was working on for the Science Academy. Music was playing softly in the background, not interfering with the desultory conversation that flowed back and forth. It was a pleasant, peaceful family evening, and McCoy considered himself privileged to be a part of it.  
   
It was some time later that McCoy realised that something in the atmosphere had changed; he looked questioningly at T'Pau, to see that her gaze was fixed on something just behind him. As he watched she reached out to touch Sarek's arm, caught McCoy's eyes, and nodded an indication. The Vulcan lowered the paper he had been reading, followed her gaze, and the stern face softened into what was almost a smile of approval. Puzzled, McCoy turned his chair, wondering what was causing so much interest.  
   
Kirk and Spock had abandoned chess for a fiendishly simple game called Jilal, in which one player set a concealed pattern of coloured rods which the other had to duplicate in as few moves as possible. Kirk had set his pieces, and Spock was frowning over the board as he attempted to outthink his friend.  
   
Absorbed in the game, both men had clearly forgotten the presence of the others. Kirk sat, as he often did, leaning against Spock's legs, close enough for the Vulcan to rest a hand on his shoulder; but this time the hand had wandered inside the neck of Kirk's shirt to finger the smooth skin - and slowly, sensuously, Kirk was rubbing his cheek against Spock's thigh. The sexual awareness between them was almost tangible.  
   
At last something - perhaps the concentrated gaze of three pairs of eyes - broke through their absorption, and they looked up. Kirk met McCoy's eyes, coloured, and dropped his gaze shyly.  
   
"My son?" There was a note of anxiety in T'Pau's voice.  
   
Hearing it, Kirk looked up again and smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, mother," he said softly. "Spock and I... we've completed our bond at last." His voice rang with pride,  
   
There was a moment's silence as the three realised what he had said. Sarek was the first to react as he asked with concern, "Jim, was this done by your wish, and with your free consent?"  
   
"Yes, father." Kirk glanced proudly at Spock. "I just... I found that I've lost my fear at last, and this is what I want - truly."  
   
"Then I am pleased for you, my sons." This time Sarek did permit himself a wintery smile. "I wish you joy in your bonding."  
   
T'Pau stooped to kiss Kirk, a Human custom she had adopted and which Sarek would have considered much too demonstrative in any other circumstances - but for this favoured son he was prepared to make many exceptions.  
   
"We have longed for this," T'Pau said with satisfaction. "When Spock survived pon farr, I dared to hope... It is good that you are truly one at last; Spock, you are greatly to be envied."  
   
"I know, Mother." In anyone other than a Vulcan Spock's tone would have been called smug ... and McCoy was none too sure that it wasn't. Spock rose and helped Kirk to his feet, "I have already warned Jim that he may have to counteract a most disconcerting degree of possessiveness I have discovered in my character. It is most unfortunate." His voice was solemn, but his eyes smiled as he gazed at his bondmate.  
   
"Understandable, however." T'Pau, catching his mood, spoke teasingly. "Your mate is indeed desirable by any standards."  
   
"Stop it, you two," Kirk said, laughing. "You're embarrassing me - as if you didn't know. Bones, what about you?" He turned to his friend in shy appeal. "What do you think?"  
   
"I think Spock's a lucky man, and so are you, Jim." McCoy stepped forward to hug his friend. "At first I thought the best thing for you would be to find a wife. I was wrong - I admit it. Any fool can see that this is what you need. Be happy, both of you."  
   
"We are," they replied in unison.  
 

***

  
   
The following day the three friends left to rejoin the Enterprise at Starbase 9. On the crowded liner space was at a premium, and it proved impossible to obtain separate cabins - the best that could be done was a four berth cabin for the three of them. McCoy felt awkward, worried that they might consider his presence an intrusion on their privacy, but they quickly made it clear that he was welcome. Kirk did insist, however, that his bed and Spock's were pushed together.  
   
"I'm not going to sleep apart from him until I must," he said with an engaging grin,  
 

***

  
   
Once back on the Enterprise life continued much as before. Just as none of the crew had suspected that their Captain and First Officer were legally bonded, so now it was impossible to tell that their relationship had entered a new dimension. The only difference was that Kirk moved to the vacant cabin adjoining Spock's, and the communicating door between their sleeping quarters was unlocked.  
   
At the earliest possible opportunity after their return to the Enterprise, McCoy called Kirk to Sickbay for a thorough medical and psychological checking. He asked Spock to be present and - a trifle nervously - explained his reasons; he wanted to be sure that Kirk had fully adjusted to this new phase in his life.  
   
To his relief, although Kirk protested, Spock approved the precaution. "You are right, McCoy," he said, watching as Kirk took his place on the examination table. "It will be reassuring to have confirmation that Jim has taken no harm from.... from what has passed between us."  
   
The physical examination came first, and was satisfactory. Stated bluntly, Kirk's body was well accustomed to accepting penetration, and the care Spock took with him removed any possibility of minor injury that might have been caused by an excess of passion.  
   
The psychological tests were also reassuring. Totally confident now, and with no feeling of being used simply to serve another's pleasure, Kirk's mind was at peace. There did seem to be one small area of tension still; but overall Kirk was happier than he had ever been. McCoy had no hesitation in declaring himself satisfied with both his physical and emotional condition.  
   
"If you do find anything bothering you, come and see me," he advised. "You'd be surprised how much a doctor can help, sometimes, in cases of... um... marital problems."  
   
"We'll remember," Spock assured him.  
   
When the two had gone McCoy destroyed all record of the examination, seeing no need to include such details on their medical files; that done he retired to his quarters and poured himself a congratulatory drink, frankly enjoying the picture - sentimental though it might be - of his two friends happy in their love.  
   
_And no-one deserves it more than you do, Spock,_ was his final thought as he climbed into bed that night.

 

***

  
   
On leaving Starbase 9 the Enterprise spent a few weeks on a star charting mission, a peaceful interlude that gave all the senior officers time to catch up on the backlog of paperwork that always seemed to accumulate at an alarming rate during a leave period. McCoy, who had no more fondness for bureaucracy than anyone else, grinned happily when his captain appeared in his office early one evening.  
   
"All finished," he declared. "Whatever happens, at least I don't have to file another... What's wrong, Spock?" he added quickly as he saw the slightly anxious expression in the Vulcan's eyes. "Is something wrong with Jim?"  
   
"Perhaps..." Spock took the indicated chair across McCoy's desk. "You said that if we experienced any... problems... in our relationship, we should come to you. I wish to consult you about just such a problem, McCoy. You must forgive me if I appear a little... foolish. I have never had cause to discuss such a subject before."  
   
"Is this - uh - a sexual problem?" McCoy asked.  
   
"It is."  
   
"Look, don't worry about how you tell it - just give me the information, If there's anything else I need to know, I'll ask questions, okay?"  
   
"Very well." Spock leaned forward in the chair and rested his hands on the desk, his fingers steepled. "When Jim and I consummated our bonding it was by his wish. Even more surprising to me was his willingness to... to serve my need; I had thought that all his experience would have made him afraid of physical possession."  
   
"That's often the pattern," McCoy nodded, "but Jim was able to permit it?"  
   
"He welcomed it." Spock coloured faintly at the memory. "However... later... I learned that he could not... reciprocate."  
   
"Reciprocate?" McCoy looked puzzled for a moment. "You mean, he couldn't make love to you?"  
   
"Couldn't or wouldn't." Spock nodded in confirmation. "Every time we come together he has some reason why he should not make the attempt - he wishes to belong to me, or he is tired, or... If I ask him directly he will begin to... to make love, but he cannot sustain an erection long enough to achieve penetration. The only explanation he will give is that he is afraid of hurting me. McCoy, he knows that is nonsense. I have never caused him pain, and I am stronger, more powerful than he - how could he cause me injury? I am afraid that... that... "  
   
He stopped speaking, his eyes fixed intently on his hands. To his horror McCoy saw that the thin shoulders were shaking. This was no trivial matter - Spock's nerves were in shreds.  
   
"What is it?" the doctor asked, coming to perch on the edge of the desk beside Spock. "What is it you're really afraid of?"  
   
Spock did not look up. "It occurs to me that in my longing for him I misread his thoughts, saw there that which I wished to see. You know how desperate he was to serve me in my Time.... Bones, has he merely pretended a wish to become my lover as well as my bondmate?"  
   
"What makes you think that, Spock?" McCoy asked.  
   
"I fear that... he does not desire me," the Vulcan replied painfully. "Perhaps that is why he cannot... claim me, but he wishes to serve me... and so he pretends..."  
   
"Stop that at once." McCoy's voice was firm. "Spock, I never thought I'd live to see the day you walked into this office and babbled such utter nonsense. Jim not love you? God, he couldn't love you more if he tried."  
   
"But surely love includes... physical desire. He does not desire me."  
   
"Doesn't he? You said you make love to him. How does he react then? Does he welcome your advances?"  
   
"Yes." Spock coloured faintly - he could not deny that Kirk was most responsive to his touch... and he was sure the response was not feigned.  
   
"I suppose it never occurred to you," McCoy continued, "that Jim was quite simply telling the truth? He can't make love to you because his fear of hurting you is so great that he loses his erection if he tries."  
   
"I do not understand. He knows that I do not hurt him - why should he think he would hurt me?"  
   
McCoy laughed. "You're Spock," he said, as though that explained everything.    
   
"I do not understand." Spock was looking even more confused.  
   
"Sorry, Do you ever stop to think how Jim sees you? Subconsciously, I mean? To him you're the knight in shining armour who came to rescue him from a fate worse than death, quite literally. You gave him back his life, his self respect, his freedom.  Then, to crown it all, you love him. Of course you won't hurt him - you're perfect.  
   
"But Jim? He owes everything he is today to you, to what you did for him. He's weak, flawed - how could he not hurt you? He's probably not aware of it, but his body is; it won't let him take the risk, so it refuses to co-operate by making it impossible for him even to try to do something that he fears might hurt you. Oh, he wants you all right, Spock, he just thinks he doesn't deserve you. Look how far you've brought him since you came to the Enterprise. Don't give up now, when you're so nearly there. All he needs is a little more time, Okay, maybe a lot more time. He's given you what he can - the rest will follow as sure as god made little apples."  
   
"Did he not make the large ones as well?" Spock asked innocently, looking up into the concerned blue eyes.  
   
"Why, you...! Seriously, Spock, I know I'm right. It must be tough on you to be denied the completion you need, but..."  
   
"But I can afford to wait," Spock finished. He smiled. "Thank you, McCoy. It is rare for me to indulge in self-pity, but you are the finest cure I know. Thank you."  
   
"Any time," the doctor grinned.  
 

***

  
   
The crew had scarcely had time to become bored with the star-charting assignment when a top-priority message from Starfleet halted the Enterprise in the middle of a totally uninteresting sector of their assigned area.  
   
Raising a thoughtful eyebrow at the Security code attached to the message, Spock called Kirk to his quarters and had the transmission relayed to his viewer. As they listened, both men grew increasingly thoughtful.  
   
"Two parties have been sent to try to form a diplomatic alliance with the people of Kalor."  
   
Admiral Komack's face on the viewscreen was shadowed. "Kalor is situated in a border zone of considerable tactical importance and up to now has clung fiercely to her independence, maintaining strict neutrality between themselves and the Klingons, and neither side has been willing to make the first move to alter that state of affairs. However, it appears that something has happened to upset the status quo. The Kalors have contacted us, stating a willingness to break off all their trade contracts with the Klingons and ally themselves to us; in short, to become a member race of the Federation. Unfortunately, despite this willingness to join the Federation, they have indicated that they will not negotiate with an Ambassador who breaches their laws and/or customs. They refused even to begin negotiations with the first party we sent; we do know that this was due to the presence of the Ambassador's wife, who was intended to act as his secretary. Apparently the Kalors felt that her presence was an insult, but we don't know exactly why. They began to hold talks with the second party we sent - by design this was all male, but the talks lasted only one day. They then stated that this Ambassador was not acceptable to them either. We don't know what he could have done to offend them - Ambassador Dhaur is one of the most consistently successful men in his field, and since he failed... Well, we have no option but to change our tactics.  
   
"Captain Spock, as part of your duties you must occasionally perform a diplomatic role, so you are not completely without experience. In addition, Commander Kirk is known to have played a major part in the negotiations with the people of Deneva. We therefore want you to try to complete negotiations with the Kalors. This is a mission' in which tact appears to be a primary requirement; we believe that you and Commander Kirk possess that quality. Together you may be able to succeed with the Kalors; remember, they do want to join us - our main objective is to avoid doing anything which might give offence.  
   
"You will therefore, set course direct for Kalor and begin negotiations. A list of our requirements and concessions on this matter follow. Komack, Starfleet, out."  
   
Kirk and Spock looked at each other, then Spock punched the intercom. "Lieutenant Uhura, record data being transmitted from Starfleet..  
   
"Yes, sir."  
   
Spock's attention returned to the Human. "This one sounds... difficult."      
   
Kirk nodded, "It beats me why they think we can succeed when one of their most experienced negotiators has failed."  
   
"It could be," Spock said. thoughtfully, "that the Federation Council has come to the conclusion that senior Starfleet personnel have a wider experience in dealing with alien customs than even experienced diplomats."  
   
"We probably do," Kirk said drily. "We see plenty of cultures that the diplomats never get near."  
   
"Unfortunately, that does not help us pinpoint the customs that must not be breached on Kalor."  
   
"Pity we can't just ask," Kirk muttered.  
   
"That would indeed be the most logical approach," Spock agreed, "However, there is also a logical argument why not. We could merely pretend to accept the custom, whatever it is, then once the planet was safely allied to the Federation, the Council could attempt legislation to alter it. You and I know that the Federation does accept alien laws without question, no matter how strange some of them may appear to other member races, but a planet unaware of that might very well be doubtful of the Federation's good faith in the matter. Those people have had trade agreements with the Federation - they might be sensitive about one of their customs that they have seen is not widely accepted by traders. On the other hand, if we follow a custom not knowing of its importance to the Kalors, clearly we - the Federation negotiators - are tolerant of it, no matter how intolerant traders night have been. I think, Jim, that we must be very careful; a custom they prize may seem trivial to us."  
   
"I think it's silly asking people to accept and follow a planet's customs and laws without telling them just what these customs are," Kirk muttered.  
   
Spock smiled slightly. "We do know one thing - the landing party must be all male. Small, too, I think - the fewer who go down, the less chance of an inadvertent error."  
   
Kirk thought about it for a moment. "Ourselves and two security guards as aides?"  
   
Spock nodded. "Preferably guards who have had some experience in data collection, since one of them will have to act as secretary, too."  
   
"I was going to suggest Larson and Tsang," Kirk said. "They work well together and I've never known them fall out with anyone - they're probably the two most adaptable Security men on the ship. Larson went into Security from records, so he has experience there."  
   
"In that case, we will definitely take them," Spock agreed.  
 

***

  
   
The Federation's list of requirements was not long. They had no authority to grant arms to the Kalors, but were required to negotiate for land on which to build a small Starbase; the Kalors had the immediate right to join the Federation's forces, for example Starfleet, but could not demand reciprocal service from Outworlders; certain import and export quotas were listed, but these were subject to some negotiation - the only restriction placed on the negotiations was that exports should not exceed imports. The values of the two could be the same, but Kalor was clearly not intended to benefit financially - at least, not yet - from membership of the Federation. Spock glanced over a typical example of the trade figures from the past year, and estimated that this requirement would easily be met - the import and export figures were within a hair of being identical in spite of the business interests of the different independent traders who had been involved in the past. And from somewhere the Federation had even got a copy of one of the Kalor trade deals with the Klingons - and it, too, showed the same balance.  
   
All Kalor laws were to be immediately ratified unless it could be proved that any of them was detrimental to the well-being of Kalor citizens. By that, Spock knew that should the Kalors still have a death penalty, he must endeavour to extract a written promise that this would be reviewed at the earliest possible moment by the ruling government, with a view to being removed from the statute book. Spock's personal opinion was that there were certain crimes - varying from race to race - for which the death penalty was the only logical one - and in addition that the death penalty was probably more merciful in some cases than any other punishment would be. Officially, the Federation used rehabilitation in most cases, but there were one or two criminals for whom rehabilitation never worked, and for whom the only place left was the asylum on Elba IV since they were then reckoned incurably insane. Some sentences carried a penalty of up to twenty years in a rehab centre; Spock felt that if rehabilitation was to be successful, it must also be fast.  
   
Kirk grunted as they finished reviewing Starfleet's requirements.  
   
"Hardly seems worth the effort," he muttered. "A straight 'we-will-do-nothing-to-harm-you-and-instead-attempt-to-aid-you' treaty would pretty well cover everything."  
   
"True," Spock said.  
   
The intercom buzzed. "Spock here."  
   
Uhura's face appeared on the screen. "I have the data you required on the previous expeditions to Kalor, Captain."  
   
"Pipe it down here, Lieutenant."  
   
"Aye, sir." Uhura's face was replaced by the oriental features of Captain Akira of the U.S.S. Defiant.  
   
The reports told them nothing they did not already know.  
 

***

  
   
Spock surveyed his landing party thoughtfully. Nobody could accuse them of being a homogeneous group, he thought; Vulcan, Western Terran, Oriental Terran... and in spite of his name Larson was neither Terran nor white; he was black-skinned, and was at least third generation of a family on the colony planet of Deva.  
   
Was there anything he had forgotten? No.  
   
"Energise."  
   
They materialised in front of an impressive-looking building.  
   
"Gentlemen."  
   
They looked round. Several Kalors were approaching, led by an affable-looking man in a long, light-coloured robe that reminded Spock of the garments worn by nomads of both Earth's and Vulcan's desert areas; these garments were designed for coolness,.  
   
With that thought came the realisation that it was indeed hot. He glanced at his men.  
   
Kirk was showing little sign of strain; Larson seemed to be enjoying the heat. Tsang, however, was clearly feeling uncomfortable, sweat half beading his forehead and drying before it had time to trickle. It was, Spock remembered, Tsang's first landing party since being released from Sickbay; it was McCoy's opinion that he would soon acclimatise, and Spock had been reluctant to break up the team. Larson was watching him, and Spock knew that he could depend on the negroid crewman to act if Tsang showed immediate signs of collapse. He wondered how quickly he could get through the polite conventionalities so that they could get indoors where, hopefully, it would be cooler - not just for Tsang's sake, but also for Kirk's. His friend's tolerance of this heat was not unlimited.  
   
"Welcome to Kalor, gentlemen. I am Dorna, head of the Male Council. This is Marvin, my partner. Strang and Hovis, our aides."  
   
"Captain Spock, commanding the U.S.S. Enterprise. My First Officer, Commander Kirk. Lieutenants Larson and Tsang, who are our aides."  
   
Dorna half bowed. "There is no Ambassador in your party?"  
   
"Mr. Kirk and I are empowered to act as Ambassadors, sir. When Ambassador Dhaur's party proved unacceptable to you, the Federation had no other ambassadors available who could reach here without a most discourteous delay. They decided, therefore, to send us here to act as ambassadors, since we could reach Kalor with the least delay. This is not our first such duty, I assure you."  
   
Marvin muttered something the universal translator failed to pick up, and Dorna nodded agreement. He smiled. "But come, Captain, gentlemen. The heat of the day is tiring. I am sure we will be more comfortable indoors."  
   
They followed him into the building. As they went he added, "Will we have the pleasure of your company in the evenings, Captain? I mean... will you accept our hospitality, or would you prefer to return to your ship at night?"  
   
"Whatever is most convenient for you, sir," Spock answered unhesitatingly, alert for any clue to help him comprehend what the Kalor wanted then to do.  
   
"Why no, Captain... whatever is more convenient for you," Dorna replied courteously.  
   
"If we accept Mr. Dorna's hospitality, Captain, we will be available at all times to confer with him," Kirk put in.  
   
Spock noticed Dorna giving a fractional nod, and immediately agreed. "Thank you, Mr. Kirk, you are correct. We would be delighted to accept, sir."  
   
Dorna beamed, and Spock knew he had made the correct choice.  
   
"We have rooms ready," the Kalor said. "I will show you these first, then you can contact your ship for anything you may require and have it sent straight to your rooms."  
   
"Thank you, sir."  
   
Dorna and Marvin then accompanied them to an elevator. Dorna pressed a button and the car slid downwards for several levels.  
   
"You build underground, sir?" Kirk asked.  
   
"Yes, Mr. Kirk. It is cooler. Of course, it means our homes must always be artificially lit and ventilated, but we are accustomed to it."  
   
Kirk smiled. "Our quarters on the ship are also lit and ventilated artificially, sir," he said.  
   
The two Kalors glanced at each other, and it seemed as if a silent message was exchanged. Had someone in Dhaur's party commented disparagingly on their underground houses? Spock wondered.  
   
The car came to a halt and they were led along a corridor. Dorna stopped at a door. There was a symbol on it - probably a number, Kirk decided, memorising it - there was a featurelessness about the corridor that would make it difficult to identify the room if they did not know the number.  
   
Dorna took a strip of clear, rigid material - a kind of plastic - from a small niche beside the door, inserted it into a slot, and the door slid open. He gave the key to Spock. "You can carry it, or leave it here," he said.  
   
"As well to leave it," Spock replied. "We have nothing to keep secret, and all else will be safe."  
   
Behind him, Kirk noted Marvin nodding approvingly. So - they were doing all right so far.  
   
Dorna gestured for them to enter the room. "I apologise for its size, gentlemen, but excavating houses is a long and expensive task; we do not waste space. The room assigned for your aides is the same."  
   
Instantly Spock realised that this could be where Dhaur had failed. Dorna clearly took it for granted that the party would room in pairs, and Ambassador Dhaur had probably invoked standard protocol and demanded a room for himself. And then, as he entered the room, Spock realised something else.  
   
The room was indeed small. It contained only a double locker - and one bed. Wider thean a single bed, it could not by any stretch of the imagination be called a double. Two people lying in it would be forced into close physical proximity, like it or not.  
   
He looked round the room as if examining it. "Thank you, sir - I am sure we will be very comfortable." He was aware that Kirk was watching Larson and Tsang, alert to forestall any implied protest they might make, but it seemed to be unnecessary. If their officers accepted this, so would they, it seemed, and without complaint.  
   
Dorna and Marvin took Larson and Tsang off along the corridor to show them their room, leaving Kirk and Spock to contact the ship for their gear.  
   
Kirk smiled. "I hope Larson and Tsang don't mind too much."  
   
Spock touched his bondmate's face lightly. "Do you?" he asked softly.    
   
"You know I don't," Kirk replied, "I love you, Spock." His mind reached out in welcome.  
   
Their thoughts caressed briefly, then Spock withdrew his hand. "We'd better get ready, Jim. I expect Mr. Dorna will want to commence talks as soon as possible."  
   
"Yes... Spock?"  
   
"Mmmm?"  
   
"This... double bed business, when they didn't even know if we were close friends or just colleagues who didn't even like each other particularly well..."    
   
"It does seem strange... but of course Mr. Dorna's comment about the cost of excavating houses could in part answer it. But I would have expected them to provide single rooms for visiting dignitaries, I must admit."  
   
"Unless... Spock, Dorna called Marvin his 'partner'. At the time, I thought it meant his duties, but suppose it really means something more... more personal?"  
   
They looked at each other, "That would explain... quite a lot," Spock said. "We cannot assume yet that that is a feature of this society but I think we should bear it in mind,"  
   
There was a knock at the door. Kirk moved to open it.    
   
Marvin stood there, "Your men are in the room two doors down the corridor, Captain," he said. "We will send someone for you in... say half an hour." He smiled. "There will be a meal before talks commence."  
   
"Thank you," Spock replied. "That would be most acceptable." He watched Marvin leave, then went on, "Jim - go and see if Larson and Tsang are... willing to accept this rooming system."  
   
"Right." He went down the corridor and knocked at the door two rooms down. It opened, and he stepped inside. Tsang was sitting on the bed; Larson stood at the side of the door.  
   
"All right?" Kirk asked.  
   
"Yes, sir."  
   
"We realise that the sleeping accommodation is slightly cramped, but it is obviously what the Kalors are used to; it's only courteous for us to accept it."  
   
"We don't mind, sir," Tsang said.  
   
"Good," Kirk replied. He was aware of something fractionally strained, however; a certain tension in the atmosphere, and he looked searchingly from one to the other. "Are you quite sure?"  
   
"Yes, sir," Larson replied, almost too quickly,  
   
"Then what's wrong?" Kirk asked bluntly. "Look... this is off the record. What's worrying you?"  
   
The two men looked at each other, then Larson said quietly, "Nothing, sir."  
   
Kirk knew that was all the reply he would receive. "All right," he said, "I'll accept that. But remember - we selected you two specially for this duty because we thought you were the most suitable for it. We're relying on you not to make any glaring slips. We're still not sure just what the other parties here did wrong... though we're beginning to guess. If there is something wrong that you won't admit to, and it interferes with these talks, I'll throw the book at you. Understood?"  
   
"There's nothing wrong, sir," Tsang said.  
   
Kirk gave them one last long look and walked out. Behind him, Larson and Tsang looked at each other again.  
   
"He probably wouldn't care," Larson said at last.  
   
"Probably not," Tsang agreed, "but it really is better if no-one knows." He sounded slightly sad.  
   
Larson put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Do you regret anything, my friend?"  
   
"No," Tsang said, "I just wish... But no matter." He smiled at his friend. "We'd better contact the ship for our gear."  
 

***

  
   
The meal was excellent, with a varied choice of dishes available for the guests. Kirk apologised for checking the various items offered with his tricorder.  
   
"I intend no insult, gentlemen, but not all of the food offered to us on various planets agrees with our metabolisms. There are, for example, certain foods which the Vulcans find most palatable that would poison a Human, and some Terran foods which disagree quite violently with the Vulcan digestive system. Fortunately, we know which these are," he said.  
   
"A natural precaution," Dorna approved.  
   
Kirk did find one vegetable dish which he felt would disagree with both Humans and Vulcans; all four avoided it, although the Kalors helped themselves generously to it. The meal was informal, and they found that they had automatically split into two groups; while Kirk and Spock conversed with Dorna and Marvin, Larson and Tsang were being entertained by Strang and Hovis. The four subordinates seemed to be getting along well, Kirk thought, if the relaxed voices and occasional laughter from the other end of the table were any indication. It was a hopeful sign - so far, no-one seemed to have made an unforgivable error.  
   
After the meal they joined several other Kalors in a lengthy discussion during which nothing positive was agreed, though it was clear that they were not far from a settlement. Finally, the discussion broke up, the group agreeing to meet again in the morning, and the Federation party was left with Marvin and Dorna.  
   
"There is a concert planned for tonight," Dorna told them. "We would be honoured if you attended it."  
   
"Thank you," Spock replied, "I am sure we will find it most enjoyable."  
   


***

  
As they took their seats for the concert the Federation men saw Kalor women for the first time, and realised clearly the division of the sexes on this planet. The men sat together at one side of the hall, the women at the other, separated from the men by a wide passageway,. The performers' entertainment was very high, and the Federation party enjoyed themselves more than they had expected. Afterwards they were taken back to the dining room for a light meal; then Spock excused himself and his party.  
   
In their room Kirk sank down on the bed with a sigh of relief.    
   
"Tired?" Spock asked.  
   
"A bit." He stretched, trying to relax stiff shoulders. Spock reached out and began to rub his shoulders gently. Kirk sighed. "That's better."  
   
"Get your clothes off, and I'll give you a proper massage," Spock suggested.  
   
"That would be nice," Kirk agreed. He stripped, and lay on the bed. Spock sat beside him, his hands massaging steadily. After a few minutes his movements slowed, ceased... Kirk did not move, He was already fast asleep.  
   
Spock removed his own clothes, folded them neatly, and slipped into the narrow bed beside Kirk. He gathered the sleeping Human into his arms, drawing Kirk's head onto his shoulder. Kirk stirred slightly, gave a contented murmur, and slipped into deeper sleep.  
 

***

  
   
Next morning Dorna welcomed them cheerfully as they emerged from their room. It looked almost as though he had been hovering, waiting for them, although he tried to make it seem that he was, by sheer coincidence, just passing by. Neither the Vulcan nor the Vulcan-trained Human believed in such coincidences.  
   
"Ah, gentlemen!" he greeted them. "I trust you were comfortable?"  
   
"Very comfortable, thank you," Spock said.  
   
"You slept well?"  
   
"Yes, thank you." Spock glanced down the corridor. Mr. Kirk, if you would be so good as to alert our aides..."  
   
Kirk moved to the other door and knocked. It opened. "Ready, gentlemen?"  
   
The two lieutenants emerged. Dorna immediately pounced on them, over effusive in his apparent wish to make sure they also had been comfortable. "You slept well, I hope, gentlemen?"  
   
"Well enough, sir," Tsang replied. "I wouldn't have minded a slightly wider bed, though - Tor's a restless sleeper."  
   
Both Kirk and Spock felt themselves stiffening slightly at Tsang's implied criticism, but Dorna merely smiled. "I regret, but these are the widest we possess, Mr. Tsang."  
   
The Oriental grinned. "It's all right, sir; I just made sure I was on the inside so he couldn't kick me out of bed." He glanced at Larson, his eyes mischievous; it seemed to Kirk that Larson's return glance was a warning.    
   
"A wise precaution, Mr. Tsang," Dorna answered.  
   
The two senior officers relaxed again. Dorna had sounded more amused than anything else, but Kink promised himself a word with Tsang before the Lieutenant was much older.  
   
"Breakfast will be ready, gentlemen," Dorna continued. "Since you are ready, would you care to accompany me?"  
 

***

  
   
The dining hall was full of men; as they had noticed the previous night at dinner, not a women was in sight.  
   
As they sat down Dorna said, "Your party is completely acceptable to us, Captain. There should be no difficulty in reaching a final agreement today."  
   
Now what had they done to be so completely acceptable, Spock wondered. Avoided the mistakes made by Ambassador Dhaur and his party, yes, but Dorna now seemed positively anxious to reach an agreement.  
   
"Sir," he said slowly, "we know Ambassador Dhaur and his party breached at least one of your customs unknowingly, and clearly we have not. But may I ask what custom was breached?"  
   
Dorna smiled. "I wondered if you would feel the need to ask," he said. He gestured round the room. "As you see, gentlemen, all these gathered here are male. The women have their own accommodation. We know that throughout much of the Federation men and women mix on equal terms; we also know that on some worlds women are considered inferior beings, on others the males are so regarded. Here, however... let us say it is a matter of choice and custom, approved by both sexes. Males and females come together only at certain times, when the women feel the need for children. During the remainder of our lives our affection is given to a friend of our own sex with whom we live in a form of marriage. Let me emphasise, please, that the sexes are totally equal, but live almost totally separate lives. There is a Male Council, and a Council of Women; together they make up the Council of Kalor. The division is so instinctive with us that it was impossible for us to negotiate with a party in which both sexes were represented. As an all-male group, you were met by the Male Council; had the Federation sent a female party, these talks would have been conducted by the Council of Women. We needed to know if such a way of life was completely foreign to your Federation, and if you could understand it if it was. But we could not merely ask. Politicians frequently lie in order to accomplish their aims. We had to _see_ that representatives of the Federation would accept it. We believe, from observing you and your party, Captain, that you will not deceive us. Will our customs be respected?"  
   
Spock considered for a moment. He liked this man, and was unwilling to deceive him, even in the interests of the Federation. He made up his mind.  
   
"I will tell you the truth, Mr. Dorna. Your social structure is indeed unusual. I know of no other race in the Federation who have such a system. However, the relationship you describe is not unknown for individuals. On my own planet, male marriage such as you describe, while not common, is a legal status; female marriage, while not unknown, occurs less often. On Earth same-sex unions do not have legal status, but are accepted, at least by most people."  
   
Dorna nodded, He looked over at Tsang and Larson. "Does your Captain speak for you also?" he asked.  
   
The two men looked at each other, then at their officers. "Yes, sir," Tsang said firmly. "As the Captain says, it's accepted by most people, though there is occasional intolerance by Humans towards Humans who have such a relationship. Earth's not too bad, really, but some of the colony planets can be... difficult. They don't mind, though, when it's alien races that are involved, on the grounds that they have a right to their own customs." He laughed slightly bitterly. "In fact, sir, you'll find it easier than we - " He broke off suddenly, colouring.  
   
"Yes, Mr. Tsang?" Dorna leaned forward intently.  
   
Tsang glanced at his Captain, then apologetically at Larson. "Sorry, Tor. You always said my big mouth would get me into trouble one day." He turned back to Dorna. "You see, sir, because of that occasional intolerance we don't broadcast the fact, but Tor and I are lovers - we've been together for years."  
   
Dorna looked at Spock, then at Kirk. "You knew this?"  
   
"No, sir," Spock replied. "We knew that they were friends, nothing more."    
   
Dorna turned to Kirk. "As a Vulcan by adoption, you presumably accept this for Vulcan. As a Human, how do you react to learning this?"  
   
Kirk smiled faintly at the worried Tsang, seeing how unobtrusively Larson had edged closer to touch his lover's arm; just so would Spock often reach out to him. "If they are half as happy as I am in my bonding they are fortunate," he said quietly.  
   
Spock straightened slightly in his chair. He knew what the next question would be, and wondered how Kirk would answer it.  
   
"Your bonding, Mr. Kirk?" Dorna spoke very softly.  
   
"My... my marriage, sir. Like Tsang and Larson, the Captain and I are lovers... but unlike them, Vulcan recognises our union."  
   
Dorna looked at the four of them in silence for a moment. "And do you agree with Mr. Tsang that the customs of Kalor will be ratified by the Federation?"  
   
"Yes, sir, I do. The Federation Council will probably want some sort of formal assurance from the Council of Women that they are not being subjugated, but in this case it will be only a formality. You see, they want you in the Federation - and that gives you an advantage. If - with your permission - we report on your customs, any Federation official sent here will be well briefed in advance; moreover, as the government of Kalor you will be entitled to deal with any breach of your laws by any Offworlder. You'll find that anyone who can't adjust simply won't come here... but most space travellers have seen civilisations that make yours seem a model of normality." Kirk caught himself. "I'm sorry - I didn't mean that how it sounded."  
   
"I understand, Mr. Kirk." Dorna smiled reassuringly. He turned to Spock. "And you, Captain? Do you agree?"  
   
"Mr. Kirk is correct. As he said, the Federation would be concerned if the women of your planet were repressed, but that is clearly not the case. I assume that the Council of Women will also sign the treaty?"    
   
"Of course."  
   
"Then I see no problem."  
   
"Then I suggest - " Dorna broke off as a soft chiming interrupted him. He leaned forward and switched on the table viewer to reveal the face of an elderly woman whose air of authority was clear.  
   
"Are you satisfied, Kalana?"  
   
"Indeed, Dorna. The Council of Women will approve the treaty." Her gaze shifted to Spock. "Greetings, Captain, from the women of Kalor. I regret that I cannot receive you - even on such a historic occasion we will not break custom."  
   
Kirk edged closer to Spock, reaching for his mate's mind. /It's just occurred to me, Spock - why don't we send down some of our female officers - suitably briefed, of course - and let them talk to the Council of Women?/  
   
/Well thought of, Jim./ Spock turned to the viewscreen. "Madam, I understand and respect your customs, but my First Officer has just made a suggestion which may appeal to you." He outlined Kirk's proposal, and Kalana smiled.  
   
"We will be honoured to receive your women," she said. "You may arrange it with Dorna, and he will send us word."  
   
The screen dimmed, and Spock looked at Dorna. "You tricked us,* he said quietly, "She was listening as we talked."  
   
"Indeed, Captain." Dorna spread his hands apologetically. "The surest way of convincing her was to let her overhear what you thought was a private conversation. As you heard, it has ensured your success, for without the approval of the Council of Women, I cannot speak for Kalor."  
   
"Then the ruse served its purpose."  
   
"Indeed. Come, gentlemen - the Council is waiting to conclude a formal agreement."

***

  
   
The Enterprise remained a few days longer at Kalor while the agreed treaty was drawn up and signed. Tsang and Larson, given some time off, spent it with Strang and Hovis, with whom they had formed a friendship, and Kirk and Spock took the opportunity to see more of Kalor, escorted by Dorna and Marvin.  
   
The only other crew members to leave the ship were Charlene Masters, Uhura and Nurse Tamura, who, after being briefed by Kirk, accepted the invitation from the Council of Women. They reported that Dorna had spoken the truth; the division of the sexes on Kalor was by the wish of both sides; and there was no oppression of either sex by the other.  
   
At last, with the formalities completed, it was time to leave. Spock filed his report to Starfleet and received his congratulations from Admiral Komack, along with his assurance that any personnel assigned to Kalor would be well briefed on the customs of the planet before they were allowed to take up their posts.  
 

***

  
   
In Spock's cabin, Kirk smiled at his mate. "I'm glad they made it into the Federation," he said. "They're good people."  
   
"Indeed, Jim. I was a little surprised that you spoke out to Dorna. Until now you have not spoken of our bonding to anyone but McCoy."  
   
Kirk hesitated. "I still don't want it generally known," he said slowly. "I'm not sure why... It's not that I'm ashamed... "  
   
"I know that."  
   
"It was just... I felt so sorry for Tsang. He spoke without thinking and then wondered if he'd fouled things up for himself and Larson... I understand how he felt."  
   
"And if they pass the story on? Are you prepared for that?"  
   
"They won't," Kim said positively. "They understand about discretion. Larson's from Deva, one of the colonies that forbids same-sex relationships. He has family there, parents and two married sisters. Can you imagine what it must be like to keep the person you love most a secret from them? Besides, even if they do talk, I'm not sure I'd mind all that much. Everyone on Vulcan knows, and Tal, and Commodore Devlin - "  
   
"You forget, no Vulcan would mention such a matter, and Tal will have impressed on Devlin that it is a breach of Vulcan manners to discuss another man's bondmate. Corrupt though Devlin is, he will not take the risk of offending our family."  
   
"That's true." Kirk sighed then, with an obvious wish to change the subject, said, "Well, much as I liked Dorna and Marvin, I'm not sorry that lot's over. I'm a Science Officer, not a diplomat."  
   
"That is McCoy's line," Spock teased. Leaning over his desk he picked up a tape. "However, our next duty is certainly a change. Admiral Komack transmitted our new orders along with his congratulations."  
   
"Oh? Where are we going?"  
   
"To the boundary with the Klingon Empire. There have been several raids recently on colony planets. Starfleet has decided on a show of strength. It could be serious, Jim. Unless we can prove that we are vastly their superior in fighting strength, the Klingons may dare open war."  
   
"It's going to be dangerous, then." Kirk's eyes darkened for a moment as he turned and caught Spock in a sudden hug. "Thank god we're fully bonded now; I couldn't bear to lose you, and I'm selfish enough to dread the thought of leaving you behind."  
   
Sadly Spock repressed the unspoken thought, _Fully bonded but for one last step, T'hy'la. When will you grant me completion? Yet it will be as you wish._ Aloud he answered. "That cannot be. We are bonded now to death. It is.... as I wished it to be."  
   
"I know. You waited so long for me, Spock... "  
   
"It was worth the wait," the Vulcan murmured.  
 

***

  
   
"Mr, Kirk, I want to thank you for your patience."  
   
"Ma'am?"  
   
"Don't look so innocent!" the woman chuckled. "I've been an Admiral's wife long enough to know that escorting the wives of senior officials is not a young man's idea of an exciting duty. You are one of the very few never to show resentment."  
   
"Oh, but you're wrong, ma'am." Kirk gave her his slow, charming smile. "I've enjoyed it - really. I've always wanted to see the Farol temples, but I've never had time before. Now I've had a personally guided tour in the company of an acknowledged expert - how could I have been bored?"  
   
"I'm relieved to hear it," Sylvia Reynolds smiled in response. "I did feel that you didn't resent the imposition... Mr. Kirk, my husband's tour of inspection ends today. I'd be delighted if you would have dinner with us tonight."  
   
"May I be excused, ma'am? I have a previous engagement."  
   
"Can't you break it? Or if it's a young lady, bring her with you. I'd like my husband to meet you."  
   
"Well, you see... " Kirk coloured faintly. "My bondmate arrives on Farol tonight. It'll be the first leave we've had for some time, and we had planned... "  
   
"Of course; I quite understand. Naturally you want to be together. Perhaps some other time. Though I didn't know you were married, Mr. Kirk. You said 'bondmate'. I assume your wife is a Vulcan."  
   
"I'm married to a Vulcan, yes. It was quite recently, and we haven't had much time alone together since."  
   
Deliberately Kirk said nothing to counter her assumption that his mate was a woman - although there was no official ban on homosexual relationships in Starfleet, and male bonding was an ancient and honoured custom of his adopted world, Kirk was still a little nervous about Starfleet's reaction to the announcement of a formal male marriage between two of its officers, especially as he was Vulcan by adoption, not by birth; In addition, Kirk and Spock had agreed to postpone any formal announcement until they had fully adjusted to the bond themselves - although the legal ceremony had taken place three years previously, it was only a few months since they had become lovers.  
   
"Then of course I will not intrude," Sylvia Reynolds was continuing, "though I hope to meet your wife one day. I'll tell my husband how much I enjoyed your company, Mr. Kirk."  
   
"Thank you, ma'am." Kirk's shy smile came again. "I hope that the next time you need an escort you'll ask for me."  
   
"I might just take you up on that," the woman laughed. "I expected a dutiful officer, and found an eager student. Now, I mustn't detain you any longer. Goodbye, and enjoy your leave."  
   
"Thank you, ma'am. Goodbye,"  
 

***

  
   
Kirk was smiling broadly as he made his way back to his own suite. He had enjoyed escorting Mrs. Reynolds, for she was a well-known authority on the ancient civilisation of Farol, and he had long been interested in the strange, ancient temples of the planet. As a result, what could have been a boring duty had been full of interest.  
   
The assignment had arisen as a result of Admiral Reynolds' visit to the Starbase. Finding the Enterprise in orbit, newly returned from patrol along the boundary with the Klingon Empire, the Admiral had decided to visit some of the smaller stations in the sector; he had departed with Commodore Devlin, and Kirk, as First Officer of the Enterprise, had drawn the duty of escorting the Admiral's wife.  
   
Tonight, though, the Enterprise would be back. The crew was due for a month's leave, and Kirk was looking forward to it eagerly. He and Spock had made no definite plans, but Farol was a beautiful world, and they intended to make the most of it. Devlin was the only cloud on the horizon, but since Spock would return when the Commodore did, Kirk had no worries about meeting the Captain's one-time friend.  
   
Kirk let himself into the suite Spock had booked for him before he left with the Admiral. It was so typical of his bondmate, he thought, that he still insisted on providing separate bedrooms. Although Kirk had never refused him, Spock would not assume that he had the right to share Kirk's bed; instead, whenever possible, he made it very clear that Kirk had a choice.  
   
It was, as the Human well knew, a result of Spock's determination never to give even the appearance of wishing to force his mate, but there were times when Kirk could wish that Spock would demand his right.  
   
For his part, Spock was well aware of Kirk's growing confidence, and was pleased by it. Each day brought his dream closer, and surely soon now Kirk would claim him, set the final seal on their mating? The Human had a passionate nature, and Spock fed it avidly, longing for the day when his lover would take that final step.  
   
Kirk showered and dressed in one of the comfortable Vulcan tunics he had taken to wearing when alone with Spock. He had just finished when his communicator buzzed.  
   
"Kirk here."  
   
"Enterprise, Mr. Kirk - Lieutenant Uhura here. The captain asked me to tell you he'll be joining you soon, He's just getting rid...  I mean he's just saying goodbye to the Admiral."  
   
Kirk chuckled. "You were right the first time, Uhura. Thanks for letting me know. Have a good leave."  
   
"You too, Mr. Kirk. Enterprise out."  
   
Kirk wandered out onto the balcony, enjoying the view over the city as he waited. He had always found it pleasant to be with Spock, but since their bonding had become complete he was restless if Spock was too far away - a natural result of the bonding, T'Pau had assured him.  
   
The door buzzer sounded, and he hurried back into the sitting room. "I wish you wouldn't do that, Spock," he grumbled affectionately as the Vulcan entered in response to his call. "Even if I was getting changed, or in the shower, well... you've seen all there is to see of me by now."    
   
Spock halted just inside the door, drinking in the sight of his bondmate hurrying towards him, his hands outstretched in eager welcome, his face flushed with excitement and pleasure. He could not help contrasting that glowing, confident man with the terrified, beaten slave who had cowered away from him when he had first entered this universe, and he felt a renewed thankfulness that he had come in time to initiate the transformation. He had thought to find his Human again, his beloved friend, and he had gained so much more - he now had a warm, tender lover in whose arms he could forget the years of loneliness he had endured.  
   
"Jim!" Taking the extended hands in his own he raised them to his lips, then caught his bondmate into his arms. Kirk came eagerly, lifting his mouth to be kissed as he buried his fingers into the black silky hair.  
   
"Hmmm." Kirk pulled back at last, but stood for a moment rubbing his cheek along the line of Spock's jaw. It was pleasant to be so close, to feel Spock's body against his, but it would be even better to allow the anticipation to build a little longer, to feed the longing for his mate...    
   
"Would you like to eat here, or in the dining room?" he asked. "It won't take me a minute to change."  
   
"Here, I think." Spock recognised and approved Kirk's intention, but now that he was back with his lover he intended to keep him to himself - for this evening at least. "Will you order the food while I shower?"  
   
"Sure you wouldn't like me to scrub your back?" Kirk teased as he moved to the service intercom.  
 

***

  
   
"Jim, I have a disappointment for you," Spock said after dinner as they took their coffee onto the balcony to enjoy the cool of the evening as they talked. "Unfortunately, we will have to. postpone our departure for a few days."  
   
"Oh? Why?" Kirk kept his voice light, aware that Spock's disappointment was as keen as his own.  
   
"The Potemkin arrives tonight. Admiral Reynolds has decided that since he, Devlin, Sheva and I will for once all be in the same place at the same time, it would be a good opportunity to discuss the defence of this sector in the event of a Klingon attack. We had some success against the Klingon infiltration, but the Admiral agrees with our recommendation that it will be necessary to assign a Starship to patrol this area as a safeguard for some time yet."  
   
"I understand, of course," Kirk said instantly. "We'll still be able to be together at night, won't we?"  
   
"Of course. But how will you pass the time, Jim? McCoy has already made arrangements for his leave."  
   
"Don't worry about me," Kirk laughed. "There's plenty to do - I haven't seen all the temples yet, and there are a couple of really good museums... or I might just relax, catch up on some reading."  
   
"Are you sure you do not mind?" Spock slipped an arm around Kirk's shoulders and drew him close.  
   
"Of course I mind." Kirk settled his head comfortably on Spock's shoulder. "I was looking forward to it... But we've never allowed our personal relationship to interfere with our duties, and we are not going to start now. If you were in pon farr it'd be different, we'd have to do something, but as it is.... we'll still have our leave, only a few days late. You're the one I feel sorry for, Spock, stuck with Devlin and Admiral Reynolds."  
   
"I was agreeably surprised in the Admiral, Jim. In the other universe he rose to his rank through Administration - here, he was a serving officer and once commanded a Starship himself. He has not forgotten the problems and... "  
   
"Spock," Kirk interrupted firmly, "it's been two weeks since we've been together. Are you going to spend all night talking about Admiral Reynolds?"  
   
Soft lips brushed Kirk's temple. "Do you perhaps have a more interesting alternative, beloved?"  
   
"You know I do." Kirk stood up and pulled the Vulcan to his feet; pressing close he whispered hoarsely, "Spock - come to bed."  
   
In his room Kirk undressed slowly, frankly enjoying Spock's appreciative gaze, then he stepped eagerly into his lover's willing arms.  
   
Spock lowered him to the bed, exploring his body with slow, unhurried kisses, rousing the Human until he begged shamelessly to be taken. It had first astonished, then delighted, Kirk to find that he could make use of the things the Captain taught him. Caresses and embraces that had been hateful when forced with contempt upon a reluctant body become a source of delight when shared in love, each seeking the other's pleasure.  
   
They shared, too, a strange but very real innocence. Spock, impotent in one universe, bonded to Kirk in this, had no knowledge or experience of another lover to guide him. Kirk, raped and mind-raped, his master's pet and victim, brought to their lovemaking a very individual sense of enjoyment. A kiss from the Captain had been a foulness, a violation; penetration by Spock was an act of homage to mind and flesh alike. They took somewhat more care than most couples to avoid causing each other the slightest pain or discomfort, but their bodies were a source of joy as they gave and took, took and gave, in an endless cycle of love and belonging.  
   
Only one thing still remained. Tonight, as always, Spock leaned back, nudging Kirk between his legs as he lay open to his lover, hoping that this time...  
   
Kirk smiled, shook his head, and slid down to take the Vulcan's penis in his mouth, sucking slowly and luxuriously until Spock was fully aroused; then he lifted his head.  
   
"Please... " he begged. "Please, Spock... take me."  
   
Spock had never dared to refuse the plea, to insist on his own right as he longed to do; sometimes he wondered if he should, but when each time, as now, he slid carefully into the cool, clinging flesh and heard Kirk 's long sigh of relief and satisfaction, he knew that he must not force the Human to face something he was not yet ready for. If Kirk knew how badly he wanted this, he would try to satisfy his lover, and if anything - the smallest thing - went wrong, he would blame himself, whatever the bond tried to tell him.  
   
So, hiding his own longing, Spock smiled tenderly down at his lover as they lay enjoying the sensation of being one in flesh as well as in mind. Kirk tightened hidden muscles, savouring the feel of his beloved Vulcan deep within him, part of him.  
   
"Oh, yes," the Human sighed, guiding the dark head down to his chest, moaning softly as warm lips caught the erect bud of a nipple, nuzzling slowly. He slid his hands over Spock's back and down to stroke his buttocks, urging him to begin the powerful yet controlled thrusting that brought them both to satisfied completion.  
   
When their bodies had shuddered into stillness came the indescribable sweetness as strong arms cradled him closely, protectively, and warm lips brushed his mouth in a kiss of thanks. After a moment, however, Kirk stretched languidly then wriggled out of his lover's arms.  
   
"Spock, I have something for you," he said tentatively, reaching for a small box on the bedside table; the look of sweet confusion on his face as he held it out made him look absurdly young.  
   
"For me?" Spock took the box and opened it, determined that for that look on Kirk's face he would show pleasure at the gift, whatever it was. No hardship, really - any gift from Kirk was to be treasured.  
   
The box contained a heavy gold ring.  
   
"On the day we bonded you gave me this," Kirk said softly, indicating his marriage ring, "and I had no gift for you. You told me then that wedding rings aren't a Vulcan custom, and because our bonding was in name only it didn't seem important to me. Now... Spock, it matters. Will you wear it - for me?"  
   
"I will wear it, Jim, because it says that I belong to you, as you to me. Will you put it on for me?"  
   
Kirk took the Vulcan's hand and slid the ring onto his finger. "I had the goldsmith copy mine exactly," he said. "Your name and mine, together, as we are."  
   
"As we always will be," Spock said softly. "It will never leave me, Jim. Thank you."  
   
Kirk smiled and leaned forward to press his lips to the pulsing vein in his lover's throat. "Wouldn't you like to thank me... properly?" he murmured as he lay back and opened his arms.  
 

***

  
   
Kirk was wakened the following morning by lips that brushed his mouth in a featherlight caress; reaching up he entwined his arms around Spock's neck and drew the Vulcan down into a sweet, sleepy kiss.  
   
"You should have wakened me earlier," he murmured reproachfully when he opened his eyes at last and saw that Spock was fully dressed.  
   
"If I had wakened you any earlier I suspect that I would have been very late for Admiral Reynolds' meeting," Spock said drily. "Breakfast is waiting, Jim - come and have some with me."  
   
Over breakfast they discussed topics that could arise at the meeting, Kirk contributing several suggestions that Spock agreed were worthy of attention, reminding the Vulcan yet again that his bondmate was considered the best First Officer in Starfleet. They could not afford to wait too much longer to have their bonding officially recognised, he realised; Kirk had turned down a captaincy once, but Starfleet would make the offer again... and next time they would demand a good reason for his refusal.  
   
Formal notification of bonding would secure them a dependency posting, for the frequency of pon farr in this universe made it imperative that a bonded Vulcan serve on the same ship as his mate, but he knew that Jim was still a little apprehensive as to the reaction they would get from the Humans in the crew - for his own part Spock had no interest in what anyone said or thought, save as it might distress his mate. Once these meetings were over and they had some time to themselves, Spock promised himself that he would talk to Jim, and try to work out the best way to have their bonding officially logged by Starfleet. He thought that Jim would not, after all, be too reluctant...  
   
"I'll see you at dinner," Spock promised as he rose to leave. "McCoy told me of a restaurant in the Old City I think you will enjoy."  
   
"Have a good day, Spock." Kirk lifted his face to be kissed, keeping the caress light, but transmitting through the bond his satisfied assurance that he could, if he wished, delay the Vulcan.  
   
"Wanton!" Spock accused, bending down to steal another kiss; then he left with more haste than dignity, Kirk's triumphant laughter warm in his mind.  
   
Left to himself Kirk sat down to finish his coffee, planning how he would spend his day; then he showered and dressed, rejecting his uniform in favour of one of the starkly simple Vulcan outfits Spock considered suited him so well. He then left the hotel, refusing the desk clerk's offer to call him an aircar - he would enjoy the stroll in the warmth of a summer morning.  
   
Mrs. Reynolds had told him of a museum which housed a collection of carved stones found in one of the temples he had been studying. They had not had time to visit it, and the collection was not normally on display, but a mention of Mrs. Reynolds' name brought the curator of the collection from his office. The man was delighted that a Starfleet officer should display such enthusiasm for his work, and Kirk passed an interesting morning as the two enthusiasts pored over the stones, the curator explaining that the archaic language of the carvings was proving a challenge to decipher.  
   
At last, and with some reluctance, the curator was forced to leave for an appointment, and Kirk decided not to linger; he had been invited to return whenever he pleased, and it was certainly more interesting to study the stones with an expert. For now, he thought, he would have a light lunch; there was, he remembered, a cafe in a nearby park with tables set on a terrace overhanging an ornamental lake. That would be pleasant, he thought as he set off on the short walk.  
 

***

  
   
Some time later Kirk was relaxing on the terrace, amusing himself by throwing the last of his bread to the tame water birds below. He became so interested in the antics of one pair, who competed earnestly for the best pieces, that he did not notice the man who approached until he slid onto the seat, effectively blocking Kirk's escape.  
   
"So, James Kirk. It is rare to see you without your... protector."    
   
"Commander Tal! What do you want?"   
   
"Merely a few words with you. Relax, James - what harm do you think I can do you in such a public place?"  
   
"Please leave me." Kirk's eyes were cold, "I do not wish for your company. Or must I make complaint to my bondmate?"  
   
"Answer one question, then I will leave - if you still insist that I do so."  
   
_Best to hear him out,_ Kirk thought; besides, he could not leave the table without creating a scene. "Well?"  
   
"Who is the impostor you are passing off as Captain Spock?"  
   
Kirk's heart lurched, though he managed to keep his voice steady. "You're raving, Commander. You know perfectly well that Captain Spock..."  
   
"That won't do, James." Tal shook his head, laughing. "Oh, you fooled me at first, the pair of you... then I began thinking. I know Spock as well as any man could - he'd never have taken you as bondmate. A Human male who came unbonded to his bed? He'd as soon have married a Green Orion. Remember, I know what you were to him. I know that he considered you his personal pleasure slave, and that he treated you as he'd have treated any whore from the brothels of Rigel. No, he'd never have bonded with you.  
   
"The more I thought about it, the more suspicious I became, so I asked a few questions. Sendak was most co-operative, without realising it - you have a dangerous enemy there, James - and at last I was certain. He's a perfect double, all right, but he's not Spock - his behaviour is too out of character in many ways to one who knew him as I did. What is he, James? A Klingon spy surgically altered to pass as Vulcan?"  
   
"He is a Vulcan - he is Spock," Kirk said firmly. "As for our relationship... that's our business, not yours."  
   
"But it is my business; when the First Officer of the Enterprise accepts an impostor as his captain it is the duty of every loyal ally of Starfleet to ask why. It would take so very little to expose him, you know... Devlin is intrigued by you already, and you made a bad mistake when you offended him. If I drop a few hints he can easily find a reason to have your precious 'Captain' investigated, and if he digs deep enough he will find the evidence he needs. Armed with that, Sendak can accuse him before the Vulcan Council, and are you so certain he can deceive them? Yes, it would take so very little; questions he cannot answer, medical testimony, telepathic interrogation... damning evidence, James, unless... "  
   
"Unless what?" Kirk's lips were stiff.  
   
"Unless I hold my tongue - and I will, for a price. Whoever your lover is, I do not really believe he is a spy, but Starfleet Command will jump to the obvious conclusion. Perhaps they will turn him over to the Vulcans...  and where is Captain Spock, hmmm? Dead, I suspect. Well, they'll find that out easily enough. What they will do to him then, I leave to your imagination and your knowledge of Vulcan. Will you buy his safety, James?"  
   
"How?"  
   
"You know that I have long desired you. Come to my bed and serve me as I command."  
   
"I... I can't. Spock's here on the base. He'd know... "  
   
"You have much practice at keeping secrets. As for his presence here... I know his days will be spent with the Admiral. I will be generous, James, and give you a little time to think." Rising, he looked down at the ashen-faced Human. "Meet me here at the same hour tomorrow with your answer. And remember... Once the doubt is planted in Devlin's mind, exposure is inevitable."  
   
Turning, Tal walked away, leaving Kirk sitting in frozen stillness. A waiter came to clear the table and with an abstracted murmur of apology he rose and began to walk slowly back towards his hotel. He did not see the man in Starfleet uniform seated at the next table who turned to watch his departure with thoughtful eyes.  
 

***

  
   
The following afternoon Spock returned to the hotel mentally thanking the communication from Starfleet Headquarters that had resulted in Admiral Reynolds' conference being suspended to await the arrival of specialists from the Grand Admiral's staff. The problem of Klingon infiltration was being taken very seriously indeed, and a full-scale inquiry was to be held - an inquiry that would not convene until after the leave period the Enterprise crew had been granted. Jim would be pleased, Spock thought; if they packed quickly they could got away tonight, and he was looking forward to his bondmate's pleasure at the surprise he had planned.  
   
"Jim?" There was no answer greeting as he entered their suite, and after a moment he tapped lightly on Kirk's door. "Jim, are you there?"    
   
There was still no reply, and Spock entered quietly in case Kirk was asleep, but the room was empty. Kirk had said at breakfast that he intended to spend the day quietly in the hotel, but perhaps he had changed his mind...  Spock was just turning to leave when the glimmer of gold caught his eyes from the bedside table.  
   
Sick apprehension clutched at his heart as he picked up Kirk's ring - it had not left the Human's finger since the day of their bonding. Wherever he had gone, and for whatever reason, he would not have left this behind... not willingly.  
   
In sudden panic he searched the room, but all of Kirk's clothes were in place except those he had been wearing that morning; there was no sign of a struggle, or of any intrusion, no clue as to the reason for the Human's absence.  
   
Fighting for control, Spock steadied his mind and sent a questing thought -  /Jim? Jim, where are you?/  
   
There was no response, not even the faintest echo of Kirk's thoughts, but the link was still whole, confirming at least that his mate still lived and was unhurt. Spock paced the room worriedly, realising that for some reason Kirk's mind was deliberately shielded against him, and he could not think why. His first thought had been that Kirk had been taken against his will, and had left his ring to indicate that fact, but the barring of the link seemed to disprove that; if Kirk had been kidnapped he would have used the link instinctively to call for help. No, he had gone willingly... but where? And why?  
   
Fully bonded as they were, Spock knew he could break the shields he had taught Kirk to raise - nothing could deny the bond - but he had promised, once, never to force contact on the Human. If he broke that promise now, when his bondmate clearly did not wish for contact, it would do incalculable harm to the trust they had built. Spock ignored the sorrowful thought, /Why, then, does he not trust me?/ Perhaps Kirk had some reason to keep his whereabouts from his bondmate, some surprise he was planning... but why had he left his ring?  
   
Impulsively Spock raised his hands to his head... readying himself to break through; then he dropped them with a sigh of despair. If Kirk needed him he would call - until then he would wait, hard though it was.  
   
Then Spock remembered Kirk's odd behaviour the previous evening. He had been very quiet during dinner, but when they returned to the hotel he displayed an almost feverish gaiety; he had urged Spock to make love to him, abandoning himself recklessly to a deeply sensual lovemaking, then when they settled to sleep he had clung to Spock with a fierce possessiveness, as though... as though, Spock realised now, he feared losing something infinitely precious.  
   
Dazed, Spock stared at the ring, clutching it tightly. Could it be - could it possibly be - that Kirk wanted to break the bonding? Had something happened, something so terrible that the Human had fled from him, shielding his mind in a pathetic attempt at defence? No, he had no right to doubt Kirk's love and loyalty...  
   
A buzz at the door of the suite broke into Spock's sombre thoughts and he hurried to open it; to his astonishment Gary Mitchell stood in the corridor.  
   
"Captain, may I speak with you?"  
   
"It is not convenient, Mr. Mitchell."  
   
"It's about Jim... Mr. Kirk."  
   
"Come in."  
   
Once in the room the Human seemed fidgety and nervous. At last he said abruptly, "Do you know where Jim is now?"  
   
"I do not."  
   
"I do, and I'm worried."  
   
"Indeed?" Control had never been so difficult.  
   
"Look, Captain, I know this is none of my business, but... Jim is... special to you, isn't he?"  
   
"He is."  
   
"Are you..." Mitchell hesitated, sought for the right words. "I heard something once about a Vulcan custom... Are you and he... are you lovers?"  
   
Spock stared at the Human, wondering how to answer. "Why do you ask?"  
   
"Because if you are, I think you should know this; if you're not... I could be interfering in something that would annoy Jim if he knew about it."  
   
"Then I will answer, Mr. Mitchell. Mr. Kirk and I are bonded, joined in Vulcan male marriage, a lifelong and exclusive commitment which neither he nor I would ever dream of breaking. Does that resolve your doubts?"  
   
"Yes, it does. I'll tell you what I know. Yesterday 1 saw Jim talking to the Romulan Commander Tal. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Jim seemed pretty upset, and Tal has a bad reputation. I did hear them arrange to meet at the same time today, and I... Well, I decided to turn up as well, just in case - I'm certain Jim was unwilling. They didn't see me, but I watched them meet. Tal took Jim away, and I followed. They went to Tal's hotel. Then I came looking for you - I knew you were staying here." Mitchell looked uncomfortable. "If I am out of line, say so and I'll forget it, but I remembered what I'd heard about Vulcans, and I saw you and Jim greet each other once in a way that as far as I knew meant that you were... Anyway, it's up to you now."  
   
"You are not 'out of line', Mr. Mitchell, and I am grateful to you. Where is Jim now?"  
   
"Still in Tal's room, I guess."  
   
Spock turned to the door. "Show me."  
 

***

  
   
Kirk's nervousness was plain to see, Tal noted with satisfaction as he approached the table and took his seat. It was no more than he had expected. These Humans were weak, easily dominated; Spock had known how to handle this one, and he, Tal, had profited by the lesson.  
   
"I have come for your answer, James," he said smoothly, and watched the Human shudder.  
   
"What exactly - do you want?"  
   
"As I said. The use of your body for a few hours."  
   
"And then?"  
   
"Then you will be free of me. I am a realist, James. I cannot take you with me as Spock did; I wish only to satisfy my curiosity as to your... accomplishments. If you play the whore for me you may then return to your lover and I will make no further demands of you." Tal leaned forward and took Kirk's hand. "A small price for his safety, James. He need never know; but if he should find out, think how grateful he will be. Unless, of course, you grow tired of him, and seek another... protector. No? A pity - I would have been more than willing." Tal tightened his grip on Kirk's fingers.  
   
Kirk permitted the contact, allowing his hand to lie limply in Tal's. Although he was no telepath the bonding had sensitised him so that the physical contact allowed him to sense the Romulan's reactions. He licked his lips nervously; there was more he had to learn.  
   
"If I agree... you swear that Spock will be safe?"  
   
"Of course. I have no interest in him, and nothing to gain by exposing him. Co-operate fully with me for a few hours, and you. will have nothing more to fear."  
   
"I see." Kirk sat perfectly still, his eyes lowered lest the Romulan see the hatred and determination he felt. Tal was lying, of course; one afternoon would not slake the lust he could sense in the Romulan's mind. He fully intended to return again and again with further demands, and at the end of it all he might very well denounce Spock out of sheer malice. Submission would not ensure their safety.  
   
Yet... if he refused, exposure was certain. Neither Sarek nor Starfleet could or would protect them if the accusation was made. Everything that he and Spock had built would be overthrown, and they would face the horror of Vulcan vengeance at the hands of the Clan.  
   
Kirk closed his eyes, knowing what he must do. During the long hours of the night, when Spock lay sleeping at his side, Kirk had thought of a plan. It carried terrible risks, but if he succeeded... He had to succeed, he told himself firmly, the alternative was unthinkable.  
   
"Who else knows about this?" he asked, fighting to keep his voice steady. "Devlin?"  
   
"Indeed, no!" the Romulan laughed. "If I'd confided in him he'd have demanded I share you - he was most intrigued by what I had to tell him of how you served Spock - and I want you for myself,. Of course, if you refuse me I will have no choice but to tell him - I think he would enjoy... shall we say... interrogating you? Then there is Sendak - he has an interest in your disgrace and Spock's. He would pay well to be rid of you both. Come, James, accept the logic of the situation, as your Vulcan would say. Or that old Terran proverb I heard once. 'Better the devil you know...' You know the price I ask, James; can you even guess what Vulcan will demand in payment?"  
   
In at least one thing Tal had spoken the truth, Kirk knew. Devlin had no suspicion - yet - that Spock was not the Captain he had known. All the Commodore knew was that Kirk had been Spock's bedboy, and that was an accusation he would not dare to repeat without positive proof. If this desperate gamble succeeded, Devlin would be powerless...    
   
Kirk swallowed, fighting down the nausea that threatened to choke him as Tal moved closer, anticipation gleaming in his eyes; the proximity intensified Kirk's awareness for a moment, and new sensations flooded in.  
   
So that was what Tal intended; when he had taken his own pleasure he meant to share Kirk with Devlin while they blackmailed Spock into...  
   
No! Kirk called all his hard-won control into play, assumed the expression of anxious submission the Captain had demanded from him, and looked up. "I agree," he whispered. He could hear the tremor in his voice, but if the gods were kind Tal would think it shook from fear, not hatred. "One afternoon - for Spock's safety."  
   
Tal smiled gloatingly, sliding his arm around Kirk's shoulders. "A wise choice," he said thickly.  
   
Kirk did not look up. "Please, can we go now?" he begged. "I... I want to get this over with."  
   
"Of course." Tal rose, pulling Kirk to his feet. "I have waited long for this."  
   
Kirk could feel the Romulan's triumph barely held in check as they walked back through the park. Tal had indeed wanted this for a long time, and intended to savour his victory to the full.  
   
All that Kirk could do was to ensure that his mental barriers were firmly in place. At least Spock, being occupied with Admiral Reynolds, would not attempt to reach for him, so that all he had to guard against was allowing any hint of what was happening to escape from behind his shields. He was not sure if his control was strong enough to prevent Spock from realising that something was wrong, but the barrier - which Spock had never violated - would prevent him from interfering until... until it was all over. Then he would know what Kirk had done... and why... but he would be guiltless...  
   
His safeguards set, Kirk withdrew deep into his thoughts, refusing to think about what lay ahead. He knew what he was going to do, and when; his actions were automatic - he would not allow himself to think or to feel again until the end...  
   
For a moment, in the foyer of Tal's hotel, Kirk caught a glimpse of Gary Mitchell. The sight of his friend pierced the misery for an instant, and he almost called for help; then he shook his head in resignation.  
   
Tal's hand on his arm urged him into the elevator, and he followed obediently. Gary was too unreliable to be of any use - this was his only hope of saving Spock and himself.  
   
The ascent was all too swift, and soon Tal was unlocking the door of his room, gesturing mockingly to Kirk to precede him; the Human stopped inside, half turned, and a steely hand clamped down between neck and shoulders. To the sound of the Romulan's laughter, Kirk pitched forward into smothering blackness.  
 

***

  
   
Kirk struggled painfully back to consciousness to find himself lying on the bed in Tal's room, his arms fastened securely behind his back. Tal, sitting beside him, had just pulled off the Human's boots and now turned with a smile, holding up the knife he had found there.  
   
"So, my little Human, I was right to expect treachery. Tell me, James, would you really have used it?"  
   
"Yes," Kirk said simply.  
   
"I believe you." Tal's voice held a grudging respect. "You have learned courage then, and some sense of honour... from your now lover, perhaps? Curious... you submitted readily enough to Spock... What did you hope to gain by killing me?"  
   
"Spock's safety. I know you always meant to denounce him - but you can't if you're dead."  
   
"What of yourself? Oh, you might have escaped... but if you had been caught?"  
   
Kirk shrugged. "It doesn't matter what happened to me. I'd have claimed you tried to rape me... Even if Security had been able to prove I came here willingly, they'd have put your death down to a sordid quarrel between us."  
   
"Spock always said you were a fool," Tal sneered. "The Security Forces of Farol question under truth drugs. Did you hope to deceive them?"  
   
"I... " Kirk hesitated, unwilling to reveal that he had been relying on Spock to help him cope with the questioning through the link. "Truth drug or not, they can't question a dead man," he said at last.  
   
"So you would have died for him. How very touching. But you failed, and your stupidity has increased the price, James. You will learn to fear me as you feared Spock. You will weep, and beg... "  
   
"Perhaps."  
   
"Ah, but you will, I have waited too long for this to be cheated now. Did you know that Spock sometimes allowed me to watch the two of you together? It amused him to show me what he would never let me have. You were so deliciously responsive, despite your fear... I knew then that I would have you one day, and now that day has come..."  
   
Tal reached for the fastening of Kirk's shirt and opened it, his hands trembling with excitement as they brushed the cool, smooth skin. A few quick slashes with the knife cut the garment away, and Tal stroked the unblemished shoulder.  
   
"Your surgeon is to be complimented on his skill - there is no trace of a scar. I will replace it with my own crest when I take you back to Romulus with me. For now... the brand remains in your soul, my little slave. I do not think you have forgotten all the skills that Spock taught you."  
   
Deliberately he pinched the small nipples and laughed as they grew firm under his fingers. "Spock told me of this - that Humans can be stimulated to sexual response against their will."  
   
Slowly, taking his time, he unfastened Kirk's belt, raising the Human so that he could pull the trousers and briefs away; dropping them beside the bed he allowed his eyes to travel over the naked body, laughing aloud as the colour burned in Kirk's face under that gloating scrutiny. "You are even more beautiful than I remembered." The Romulan's voice was thick. "Yes, I can understand Spock's obsession with you. How shall I use you first?"  
   
Tal curled his hand around Kirk's penis and begun to stroke it as he talked, reciting aloud all he planned to do to the Human, what he would force Kirk to do to him.  
   
"You will come to me again and again," he gloated. "You will learn that I am now your master...  Ah, you respond to me, excellent."  
   
Kirk lay with closed eyes, refusing to acknowledge what was being done to his body. His mind was retreating deep into itself; shutting out all external stimuli as Spock had taught him, withdrawing his consciousness so completely that he was unaware of what was happening to him. It was the only defence he had left, and the only way he could protect Spock; if he was conscious when his body was violated the Vulcan would know of it through the link, whatever blocks he tried to impose. Later... his mind shuddered at the thought... later Spock would have to be told, they would have to deal with Tal... but for now he had to keep Spock from sharing the horror... and so he sought the refuge of mindlessness.  
   
Tal was too intent on tormenting his victim to realise what Kirk was doing. The blank bright eyes seemed to him to mirror fear and despair and he grinned as he spread Kirk's legs wide to probe into his body. Like most Vulcans, Romulans did not kiss, but he remembered the pleasure the Captain had taken in the caress; his free hand moved to Kirk's head, and he bent to claim the partly open mouth. As he forced his tongue between Kirk's unresisting lips the Human's body suddenly went slack in his arms, and his fingers plunged deeper into the cool flesh as the relaxed muscles no longer denied him entry. Startled at this sudden apparent submission Tal raised his head, and the glazed eyes, the deep, slow breathing, told him what Kirk had done.  
   
"Wake up, damn you!" A heavy hand crashed against Kirk's face. "I want you to know what is happening, to feel everything I do to you. Wake up, whore; I demand response! You're buying your lover's safety, and I will not be cheated. Wake up!" He slapped Kirk again, his other hand moving brutally within the Human's body in an attempt to arouse him, but Kirk hung limply in his arms, pale and unresponsive.  
   
A loud crash made Tal look up, and he froze in fear. The bedroom door was swinging open, and on the threshold stood the imposter, a phaser clutched in one steady hand. The Vulcan's face was white, but his eyes burned into Tal's with an insane fury, and the Romulan know sheer terror for the first time in his life. To his own people this was the condition known as Harla, the unquenchable blood-lust kindled by the violation of a pairmate.  
   
Without turning his head the Vulcan spoke to someone behind him. "Wait here." He then closed the door and approached the bed.  
   
A threatening gesture with the phaser, and Tal withdrew his hand from Kirk's body; the Vulcan's breath rasped harshly as he saw the fresh bright blood that smeared the fingers and trickled across the Human's thighs.  
   
Unable even to think of escape, Tal was held immobile by the insane glittering eyes; the phaser was lowered, and powerful hands closed around his throat. He whimpered as the raging mind ripped into his, seeking and finding all his knowledge, his actions, and his intentions for Kirk. Then the fingers tightened, cutting deep into his throat. His mind broke under the weight of the insanity that filled him, and when his neck bone finally snapped it was merely the mindless shell of Commander Tal of Romulus that plunged into the darkness of death.  
   
Spock dropped the lifeless body to the floor without another thought, and paused for a moment to establish a shaky control before he allowed himself to look at Kirk.  
   
The Human was breathing - he could see the slow rise and fall of the sweat-damp chest - and with a sigh of relief he recognised the self-induced protective trance. Leaning over the bed he made a careful physical examination, thinking it best to do so while his mate was still unconscious; his lips tightened as he noted the bruising on the thighs and around the nipples. The bleeding had stopped, and he could find no trace of semen, suggesting that it was Tal's nails that had torn the tender flesh. Spock felt a wave of fury swoop over him as he remembered the sight of the Romulan's fingers buried deep in his lover's body. He controlled it firmly, reminding himself that Tal had already paid the price, and continued his examination, only to hesitate again as he realised Kirk's condition.  
   
Aroused against his will by the obscene stimulation, Kirk's genitals were painfully swollen; his body arched instinctively at Spock's touch, seeking release as he sensed the presence of his bondmate. Spock leaned forward, touching his lips to the throbbing penis, and the warm wetness of his mouth triggered a violent reaction as Kirk's body spasmed in climax. Spock was thinking quickly as he cleaned Kirk's shivering body and gathered his scattered clothes. It would be better not to waken the Human from his trance until they were safely alone, but in the meantime he must be taken from this room of death; he must not see that which remained to be done here...  
   
Carefully the Vulcan reached out to the withdrawn mind, making no attempt to touch Kirk's consciousness; instead he implanted a simple command to follow orders, and to remain in trance until the Vulcan summoned him.  
   
That done, he began to help Kirk to dress. The torn shirt was useless, and he threw it into the disposal unit, reluctantly selecting another from Tal's wardrobe. It was unpleasant to think of anything that belonged to the Romulan touching his mate, but Kirk could not leave half naked. Finally he smoothed Kirk's hair into place and studied him thoughtfully, satisfied that he showed no obvious sign of his ordeal.  
   
"Come, Jim." Going out into the sitting room, Spock beckoned to Gary Mitchell. "Take Mr. Kirk back to my suite. Do not stop for any reason, speak to no-one, and do not attempt to question him. Remain with him until I join you. If for any reason I do not come within two hours, beam directly to the Enterprise with him, call Dr. McCoy, and tell him all that you know."  
   
"Yes, Captain."  
   
Spock turned to Kirk. "Jim, I want you to go with Mr. Mitchell. Do as he tells you. Do you understand?"  
   
"I understand, Spock." Kirk's voice held a vague, dreamy tone, and the Vulcan nodded - the Human was functioning automatically, and would not awaken from the trance until he was summoned.  
   
Gary Mitchell come forward, touched Kirk's arm, and Kirk turned obediently to follow him; Spock watched the door close behind them then with a grimace of distaste he re-entered the bedroom to do as Tradition demanded.  
 

***

  
   
"Ambassador Hilvan, thank you for coming so promptly. A most distressing outrage - but I assure you I will do everything in my power to see the murderer brought to justice."  
   
"I am certain of that, Commodore Devlin. However, the Romulan government will insist that the criminal be handed over to us for execution." The Ambassador glanced towards the bedroom. "Is he... in there?"  
   
"Yes, sir. The body is exactly as we found it. I am afraid we require formal identification."  
   
"My aide will see to it. Zantor, if you please."  
   
The Romulan aide nodded, and entered the bedroom. Hilvan turned back to the Commodore.  
   
"Have you any clue as to the motive for my nephew's murder?"  
   
"At the moment we are not certain, although possibilities exist. He was seen to enter the hotel accompanied by a Human, who has not yet been identified or located. He was not seen again until the chambermaid discovered the body when she came to prepare the room for the evening. We think it possible, however, that the man seen with him might have been.... forgive me, invited here as a sexual partner. There are certain indications... "  
   
Dev1in broke off as the aide emerged from the bedroom, looking visibly shaken, and whispered in the Ambassador's ear.  
   
"Are you sure of this, Zantor?"  
   
"See for yourself, sir."  
   
Hilvan walked into the bedroom, followed by Devlin and his aide. All three recoiled instinctively at the heavy, bitter smell that filled the room, a sickly-sweet stench that was overpowering in its intensity.  
   
Zantor turned back the covering from the distorted face, and the Ambassador stood looking down at his nephew.  
   
"What was the cause of death, Commodore?"  
   
"He was strangled, sir."  
   
"Indeed. Zantor, I will see the rest."  
   
"I don't advise it, Ambassador - your nephew was grossly mutilated within minutes of death."  
   
"Zantor, do as I command."  
   
The aide pulled back the heavy cover, and the full length of Tal's naked body was exposed. The bed on which he lay was drenched with blood. The cause of such a massive loss was immediately and shockingly obvious - Tal's genitals had been severed, and placed in his extended hand.  
   
"We thought at first that the mutilation had been inflicted before death, because of the extent of the bleeding," Devlin said nervously. "However, the doctor was able to assure me that due to the differences in the circulation of Romulan blood, such a loss under such circumstances was... er... normal. Your nephew was certainly dead before the knife was used - he did not suffer. However, this does seem to confirm our theory that there was a sexual motive for the killing."  
   
Hilvan gestured abruptly, and Zantor covered the hideous sight. When the Ambassador looked up all trace of grief had vanished from his face; his eyes were as cold, his tone as indifferent, as though he discussed the death of a total stranger.  
   
"Commodore Devlin, you will cease all investigations into this death."  
   
"sir, you can't mean that! Your own nephew... "  
   
"I can and do. The Romulan was justly slain, and I demand no blood price. If this were to become known... Shame and disgrace are upon our house - would you cause us public humiliation as well?"  
   
"I don't understand."  
   
"Then I will explain, but only so that you will understand why this death must not be investigated. The Romulan was killed and his body mutilated in accordance with an ancient custom known to my people as lyrad - a custom we share with our Vulcan cousins. Such a death is inflicted for only one crime - the violation of a pairmate. To my people the mating of warriors is a sacred act - any male who, even in time of war, rapes one who is paired, is outcast among our people, his life forfeit, and his family disgraced. Should this become known, I myself would be forced to resign my position."  
   
"But this is the barbaric murder of a valued ally! It cannot go unpunished," Devlin protested.  
   
"It is the execution of a worthless degenerate," Hilvan corrected. "The crime is rare, thank the gods - I cannot recall a case in recent years."  
   
"The last was some thirty cycles ago," Zantor volunteered. "As I recall, one of the Praetor's Guard raped the pairmate of an unranked warrior. He was insane, of course, but the penalty was demanded and paid."  
   
"True - I remember the case now," Hilvan nodded. "Despite the low rank of the victim, and the fact that the criminal was of the nobility, justice was done, and that noble's family still bears the shame of his deed, Commodore Devlin - and will do so for many generations to come."  
   
"A moment... there's something you said... " Devlin's eyes narrowed. "You say you share this custom with the Vulcans?"  
   
"Indeed. The Vulcans protect their bondmates as carefully and as jealously as we do our pairmates. They have the added advantage of the mental link, of course, but the relationship is as sacred to them as it is to us; and the penalty for violation is the same."  
   
"Of course! I should have seen it at once; Ambassador, I must question Captain Spock immediately."  
   
"Captain Spock? I know of him. How is he involved?"  
   
"He's bonded to his First Officer, and Tal was seen with a Human just before his death. It was Tal who told me about Kirk and Spock, but there's something very curious here; when he first mentioned that they were... involved, he spoke as though Kirk was... well, merely Spock's whore; he even told me that he hoped to enjoy Kirk's favours if he could persuade Spock to lend him out. He was very surprised when Spock claimed Kirk as his bondmate, but he never mentioned it again until last night. All he said, though, was that he'd seen Kirk again, and that he'd have a surprise for me in a couple of days."  
   
"You are certain that Spock acknowledged Kirk as his bondmate," Hilvan asked.  
   
"Positive. He said something about challenging me if I insulted Kirk."  
   
"I think that I must speak with Captain Spock," Hilvan said thoughtfully.  
   
"My lord, is that wise?" Zantor asked.  
   
The Romulan shrugged fatalistically. "If open accusation is made, disgrace cannot be avoided, Zantor. Commodore, you will take me to Captain Spock, and ask him if he will be gracious enough to receive me."  
   
"Ask him? The Ambassador of Romulus has no need to ask. I'll order him to see you..."  
   
"You will not! Would you anger him further? You will accompany me, since you already know something of this matter, but you will not question my decisions, you will not interfere... above all, you will not repeat anything the Romulan may have told you which would cast doubts on Kirk's chastity. Do I make myself clear? Then come - I have a duty to perform."  
 

***

  
   
Gary Mitchell started up thankfully as the door opened and Captain Spock entered the suite. He had obeyed the Vulcan's instructions to the letter, spiriting Kirk away from Tal's hotel and back to the safety of his own so quickly and efficiently that he was confident no-one had noticed them. He had been too alert to avoid trouble on the way to pay any real attention to his companion, but once inside the suite Kirk's blank, wide-eyed stare and his trance-like state had proved very disconcerting.  
   
Had it been anyone else, Mitchell reflected ruefully, he would probably have delivered Kirk to his room and left him alone, claiming later that he had misunderstood his instructions; but he could not ignore a most inconvenient feeling of concern for the First Officer who had - after much resistance on Mitchell's part - won his respect and liking.  
   
It had been simple curiosity that had made him watch Kirk's first meeting with Tal, and he was thankful now that he had indulged it; the misery in the Human's eyes, and the anticipation in the Romulan's, had intrigued him further, and he had resolved to watch their subsequent encounter. It was only when he had seen the possessiveness with which Tal had taken Kirk's arm, however, that he became seriously concerned, for he knew that Kirk rarely permitted anyone to touch him. More, he had by chance seen something which had led him to deduce that the Captain and First Officer were bonded, and he knew that to a Vulcan violation of the bond was the worst possible crime. Nor had Kirk looked like a man going willingly to an assignation with a lover. Even then, Mitchell might have not acted, but he knew something of Tal's reputation, and even if he had not felt friendship and respect for Kirk, he would not have allowed a fellow Human to remain unwillingly in his hands. And so he had sought out Spock.  
   
Now, however, his responsibility had ended with the Captain's return, and giving a low sigh of relief he rose to take his leave.  
   
Spock looked at him sharply. "Any trouble?"  
   
"None, sir. No-one took any notice of us when we left Tal's hotel, and I managed to get Jim up here without anyone seeing us."  
   
"Has he spoken?"  
   
"No - he's just been sitting there. You said not to question him, so I kept quiet."  
   
"Good. I will care for him now."  
   
"Is there anything else I can do?"  
   
"I think not, Mr. Mitchell..." For a moment the navigator could have sworn that the austere face softened into almost a smile. "I am most grateful to you. However, I would ask one more service of you."  
   
"sir?"  
   
"Whatever rumours or speculations you may later hear about today's events, whatever conclusions you may come, to... please forget them. I will take full responsibility. For Mr. Kirk's sake, say nothing of what you have seen or heard - he will suffer most if this tale is spread."  
   
Mitchell drew himself up with unaccustomed. dignity. "I will say nothing," he promised. "I owe Jim my life, and you... You gave me a chance I didn't deserve, a chance I don't intend to waste." For a moment his eyes slid to the apathetic figure on the couch. "He will he all right, won't he?"  
   
"He will - I shall not allow it to be otherwise. Thank you, Mr. Mitchell."    
   
The navigator gave a fleeting grin as he left, conscious of a pleasant emotion that was new to him, and awareness that he was trusted by his Captain. It had never seemed important before...  
 

***

  
   
Even before the door closed Spock had forgotten all about Mitchell. He crossed to sit on the couch, lifting Kirk's chin so that the blank, bright eyes were forced to meet his.  
   
"Jim, wake up," he called softly. "Jim, come back, my bondmate."  
   
A vague smile curved the Human's lips, and he whispered hesitantly, "Spock... Lost... so far... alone, now... Always alone... Everybody goes away in the end... Spock, please, not you too... not you..."  
   
Nervously Spock reached for Kirk's face, his fingers scrambling into position for the meld. Kirk had gone much deeper, much further, than he had thought possible. Perhaps he had gone too deep, too far... for the bond was still incomplete.  
   
Between male bondmates certain conditions had to be fulfilled for the bond link to operate at full intensity, and physical possession was the seal. When Spock had taken Kirk, his mind had been locked to the Human's - his link to his mate was as clear and bright as crystal.  
   
But Kirk had not taken Spock, and so his strand of the link was tangled and confused - he could not find his way back to Spock.  
   
Kirk was not sure what was wrong. He sensed that his bondmate was close by, but could not feel his thoughts. He had forgotten that _he_ had built the barrier - all he knew was that he was being denied the comfort of the bond. Old habits stirred. Obviously he had done something wrong. Spock was angry with him; he was being punished; he deserved to be punished... He shrank further back, telling himself that he must not reach out, that if he was very quiet and very good, if he kept very still and very silent, Spock might forget to be angry with him, and perhaps everything would come right again...  
   
Spock's lips tightened as he read the thoughts and realised just how far Kirk's mind had retreated. He paused for a moment to control his fear and reached out, pouring out all his love and longing in one frantic appeal, revealing the depth of his love and need for his mate, his desperation of the distance between them.  
   
The shy, terrified, loving Human could not resist; his own pain he could bear, but never Spock's. He answered wordlessly, moving to meet his lover's mind, and they clung together, content to wait for explanations, for they had the only answer that mattered - they were together.  
   
Then gently but persistently Spock drew the Human back to consciousness, reassuring him by projecting a tranquil welcome. Kirk shuddered, closed his eyes, and slumped forward into waiting arms that gathered him close.  
   
"Jim, it's all right. It's over," the Vulcan whispered as he stroked the bright hair, the physical embrace as necessary as the mental one had been.  
   
"Tal?" The whisper was barely audible.  
   
"Is dead. He cannot harm either of us now."  
   
"If he told anyone? He said he didn't, but..."  
   
"He did not. I read that in his mind before I killed him."    
   
"You killed him? Oh, Spock!"  
   
"It was an instinctive reaction to his daring to touch my mate. I had not realised that I was capable of such an act, but it seems I am indeed Vulcan in this, too. When I saw you naked under his hands... Jim, it's all right!" he interrupted himself as the Human paled in horror. "He didn't... didn't enter your body. Your retreat into trance angered and frustrated him. He wanted to waken you, force you to understand what he was doing to you, but of course he could not; and because of that delay, I arrived in time."  
   
"Then I'm still...." he coloured. "I'm still... chaste?"  
   
"You would be to me, even if he had taken you," Spock said fiercely. "Do you think I would let it make any difference?"  
   
"You wouldn't... but I'd have known... And if your uncle over found out..."  
   
"Selek is n stern upholder of Tradition,, but he is not unjust," Spock said quietly. "You did not lie with Tal of your own choice."  
   
"No... but he'd have wondered why I was there alone with him. There is no way I could explain, and Sendak would have fed his suspicions... "  
   
"Jim, Jim, why concern yourself with something that did not happen?"  
   
"Because we don't know what will happen, Spock. Tal's dead... someone's going to want to know why. And if it comes out that I'm involved..."  
   
Spock shrugged. "Since I will be the first to be questioned on your behaviour, my explanation will be accepted. However, since it worries you... Let me see. Tal tricked you with a supposed message from me to you; you alerted me through our link, and I came to you. Whatever Sendak may say, my knowledge of Tal's assault on you, and the fact that I keep you with me, will satisfy Selek of your innocence. That you were overcome is no cause for shame - no human can match Romulan strength."  
   
"I was going to kill him," Kirk said slowly. "I thought it all out. I had a knife... I wanted him to think me cowed, so that I could have a chance to kill him before he could denounce you, but it seems I still haven't learned to lie very well. He suspected that I might try something; he tricked me and disarmed me. I thought... well, I suppose I wasn't thinking, really... I thought I could get away with it, make it seem he'd been killed by someone he'd picked up for the night. Now... I've only just realised... Someone might've seen me with him, recognised me. Spock, if they connect you with his death, what will happen?"  
   
"I do not know," Spock said slowly. "In the other universe his own people would have known from the manner of his death why he was killed, and would have accepted it. Here... Do you know how Romulans here regard bondings, Jim?"  
   
"No, I don't," Kirk replied unhappily. "I know they do have a form of male marriage - they call it pairing - but I don't know how important it is to them. Perhaps they understand the concept... remember, Tal knew what a bondmate was, and he didn't consider me to be bonded. He said that no Vulcan would bond with someone like me. Then immediately you acknowledged me, he stopped insulting me. I suppose, once he concluded that you're not the captain, he considered me fair game."  
   
"One thing is certain," Spock declared. "On this Vulcan my actions are acceptable, even expected. You have the right to demand the protection of the Vulcan Embassy. It might, perhaps, be safer to take you there until we know what attitude the Romulans will adopt. Vulcan will never surrender you, Jim. I am concerned, too, about Commodore Devlin. He does not know that I am an impostor, but he does know that there is some confusion over your exact status. When he learns of Tal's death he may well suspect that we are involved. Yes, I think we will go to the embassy. I will feel easier when you are safely under the protection of Vulcan."  
   
"Have I time to change and shower first? I feel... dirty."  
   
"Of course," Spock smiled. "While you do so I will call Ambassador Serraf and ask him to register us as in residence at the Embassy, so that we will automatically have diplomatic immunity."  
 

***

  
   
A short time later Kirk emerged from the bathroom wearing a black outfit of formal Vulcan design. Spock, watching him, was reminded again how young the Human was compared to his counterpart - but this difference in their ages was a blessing, for coupled with his own Human blood it made their life-expectancies roughly equal, so that Kirk would be spared the pain of growing old while his bondmate remained unchanged.  
   
Kirk came quietly across the room and rested his head on Spock's shoulder. "I knew you wouldn't reject me, whatever happened," he whispered, "but I'm glad you were in time. Not just for myself - I would have remembered nothing - but because... well..."  
   
"I understand, Jim." Spock's hand rose to stroke the soft hair. "Do not think of it, my love - you could only hurt me if you turned from me, and I know that you never will."  
   
"I couldn't," Kirk murmured.  
   
"Then will you take back what is yours? I kept it safe for you."  
   
Kirk looked up as Spock took his hand and slipped the marriage ring back into place. "My ring. Spock, I couldn't take it when I went to meet Tal. It means too much... I wanted to keep it - to keep you - untouched by Tal's filth."  
   
"Jim... " Spock was interrupted by the chiming of the service intercom, and with a grimace of annoyance he went to answer it.  
   
"Reception here, Captain Spock. Ambassador Hilvan and Commodore Devlin are here. The Ambassador requests that you consent to see him."  
   
"One moment." The Vulcan cut the connection and glanced sideways. "Jim."    
   
The Human shrugged. "Too late to go to the Embassy now. Let's see them and get it over with, Spock." He could not quite hide the apprehension in his eyes.  
   
Spock touched his bondmate's face lightly. "Jim, consider. You know how arrogant the Romulans are, yet Hilvan requested that I see him. Devlin could have ordered me to do so, yet did not. I think, Jim, that Hilvan knows precisely why Tal was killed, and has come to discover what further action I intend to take. Will you permit me to deal with this, T'hy'la? It is a matter of Tradition."  
   
"I understand. Handle it as you think best."  
   
"Thank you," Spock turned back to the intercom. "I will see Ambassador Hilvan and Commodore Devlin. You may send them up."  
 

***

  
   
Hilvan's eyes flashed straight to the Vulcan as he entered the suite. Certainly the Captain seemed composed, but he intended to be very careful - one could never be quite certain in such a delicate situation. He kept his eyes resolutely away from Kirk as he waited for the Vulcan to acknowledge his presence.  
   
"Ambassador Hilvan, you wished to speak with me?" The tone was cool and expressionless.  
   
"Indeed, Captain. Commodore Devlin of course you know. May I present my aide, Zantor. Our mission is one of extreme delicacy..."  
   
"I understand. Before we begin, however, you will wish to pay your respects to my bondmate, James Kirk."  
   
Only now was Hilvan free to look at Kirk. /What a beauty!/ was his first instinctive reaction. /My nephew's offence can be understood, if not condoned./  
   
"Mr. Kirk, I am honoured." Hilvan bowed his head respectfully. As a diplomat he was accustomed to the Terran handshake, but as a Romulan he knew better than to attempt to touch a paired male in his mate's presence, especially considering the reason for his visit.  
   
Kirk made no reply, but inclined his head in return. Devlin opened his mouth, but Hilvan gestured him to remain silent.  
   
"Captain, I have come to express the regret and sorrow of my House at the outrage offered to your mate by one of our blood. I acknowledge the justice of your action, and I now ask, is further reparation demanded?"  
   
"Your kinsman's obsession with my mate has caused considerable offence. He has accused James of unchastity before a witness, and attempted to persuade him to break his vows. At that time I warned him that I would challenge if the offence was repeated; this is the result. He tricked my mate and lured him away. You will agree that I have the right to be avenged?"  
   
"You have the right," Hilvan sgreed.  
   
"Then I am satisfied. The insult has been erased in blood - it will serve no purpose to create a scandal."  
   
"Scandal must inevitably result, however," Hilvan pointed out, "when the Romulan's body is returned to his family. Its condition..."  
   
"True." Spock considered for a moment. "I suggest cremation."  
   
"We should also agree on a reason for his death, Captain. My brother is in poor health, and the truth would kill him. He has served Romulus well - I would spare him shame in his declining years."  
   
"Perhaps, sir, I may be of service." Zantor, who had remained silent since their arrival, stepped forward. "A duel of honour, sir, between Tal and myself, a personal matter with yourself as witness. The Captain's name and Mr. Kirk's need not be mentioned. And if you, representing the family, declare me free of blood-guilt, the Admiral will accept his son's death in accordance with our custom."  
   
"I will be in your debt, Zantor, and you will be rewarded. Do you consent, Captain Spock?"  
   
"If you are satisfied, Ambassador Hilvan, I agree. My only concern is to spare my bondmate further distress. There remains Commodore Devlin, however. He does not understand a warrior's honour. Can you be certain he will remain silent?"  
   
"Commodore?"  
   
"This is outrageous!" Devlin's face was flushed with anger. "A Captain in Starfleet is guilty of the barbaric murder of a valued ally to conceal a perverted relationship with his First Officer, and the family of the victim conspiring to hush up the crime. I will not be a party to this. There must be a full inquiry. There's something odd going on here, and Tal's death confirms it. I intend to get to the bottom of your scheme, Spock!"  
   
"Commodore, it ill becomes you to speak of perversion," Hilvan replied with silky venom. "Your own private life will not bear close scrutiny. Captain, you are correct - the honour of a warrior is meaningless to this seth'atzz. Devlin, understand me. You will remain silent. You will make no accusations. Above all you will breathe no hint of scandal concerning the Captain and his bondmate. I am at present engaged in delicate negotiations with the Federation - Starfleet Command will not look kindly on the man who so offends the Praetor's Ambassador that the talks fail. I will also, on behalf of my family, formally deny any accusation you make. I trust I make myself clear?"  
   
"I have no choice," Devlin growled. "I will say nothing."  
   
"At last you begin to show sense. I would also caution you not to speak of this even privately. Should word leak out.. . Romulan assassins are skilled. Come, now - we have intruded long enough. Captain, my thanks - and again, my apologies to you and your bondmate."  
   
"The matter is closed. Now, if you will forgive no, my bondmate requires rest."  
   
"Of course. One last thing - would you both do me the honor of attending the reception at our Embassy tonight? It would be as well if we were seen to be on friendly terms so soon after the Romulan's death."  
   
"We will come. Until tonight, Ambassador."  
 

***

  
   
When their visitors had gone - Devlin still scowling - Spock sat down on the couch, encircling his bondmate's shoulder with a supporting arm. Kirk leaned against him for a few moments, then sat up.  
   
"I'm all right now," he said steadily,. "So there won't be any trouble with the Romulans?"  
   
"No - it seems that they do share the reverence for the bonding. Devlin, though, could still cause trouble."  
   
"He won't dare defy the Ambassador, will he?"  
   
"Not in this. Yet he has the ear of Starfleet Command - he could harm us in other ways. He now knows for certain that something is wrong, and I fear he will be even keener to learn what. Yet, if I must, there are ways to foil him - not even Starfleet Command will risk offending our Clan."    
   
"Nice to be important, isn't it?" Kirk's smile was only a shadow of his usual grin, but it lifted Spock's heart to see the familiar spark deep in the hazel eyes. Rising, the Human continued, "What should I wear tonight, Spock? Uniform, or formal Vulcan dress?"  
   
"Jim..." Spock caught his bondmate's hand. "If you prefer, I can make your excuses tonight."  
   
"Excuses? Why should I not go?"  
   
"Did you not understand? We are invited to the reception, not as Captain Spock attended by his First Officer, but as Spock of Vulcan accompanied by his bondmate."  
   
"Oh. I hadn't thought of that." Kirk considered for a few moments, then continued softly, "Does it matter?"  
   
"Admiral Reynolds will be there, Jim, and Captain Shevas, and doubtless many officers from the Starbase. Our bonding will certainly become public knowledge."  
   
"About time, don't you think? I'm not ashamed - I'm proud to be your mate."  
   
"Are you sure?"  
   
"Very sure. Unless, of course, you're ashamed of me?"  
   
Spock smiled at the teasing note in the Human's voice. "Any man would be proud to claim such a mate," he stated positively, the warmth in his voice bringing the colour to Kirk's cheeks. "Very well then, Jim. Remember, though, that on a formal occasion such as this we must behave according to tradition."  
   
"I know what to do; I won't let you down."  
   
"It never occurred to me that you would. But you are inclined to forgot that... that it is also my right to serve you... " Changing the subject, Spock nodded towards the bedroom. "It would be better if you rested now," he said firmly,  
   
Kirk made no protest as Spock shaded the windows against the late afternoon sun and turned back the bedcover for him. Perhaps it was reaction, but he did feel tired.  
   
Discarding his shirt, the Human sat down to pull off his boots; keeping his face averted he asked quietly, "Spock, have I... changed too much?"  
   
"I do not understand."  
   
"You came looking for a... a replacement for Captain Kirk; instead you found me. But... I'm no longer the terrified slave you pitied and freed. Today has made me realise... If this had happened when He was alive - if Tal had caught me alone and forced me to bed - I'd have gone, because I'd have been too frightened to fight him, and because I wouldn't have cared - Tal or the Captain, what difference?  
   
"Today, though... I know things didn't turn out as I'd intended, but I did plan to kill him. I thought about it, coldly and deliberately, and I'd have done it, too. Then, when he disarmed me and had me in his power I still fought him in the only way I had left, cheating him of his pleasure by retreating into the trance you taught me. Don't you see, Spock? I was deciding for myself, not just submitting to what others wanted from me."  
   
He looked up then, his eyes mirroring uncertainty. "Is that what you want from me? Or would you prefer on obedient Vulcan mate who defers to you in all things? Someone docile and submissive, like T'Kara? Because if that's what you want, I'll try... I want to please you."  
   
"Gods of Vulcan!" Spock's voice held affectionate exasperation. Pulling Kirk to his feet he took the Human's face between his hands, reaching for the link. "I chose you, Jim, as you were and as you are, as my bondmate, not my wife. You are gentler than your counterpart, more sensitive, but you are like him in so many ways. We are bonded as male to male - remember that. What use would you be to me on the Enterprise as a docile Vulcan mate, walking always behind me, never daring to voice an opinion that contradicted mine? Should I also keep you veiled, in seclusion, forbidding anyone to touch you? I do not want a beautiful, submissive pet. I want a companion, an equal. I want you, Jim,"  
   
Kirk closed his eyes against the sting of grateful tears. "Thank you, Spock," he whispered. "I'll try to be the mate you desire."  
   
Lips brushed his eyelids gently, then Spock eased him down onto the bed, drawing the cover over him. "Try to sleep. I will wake you when it is time to dress."  
   
Tired though he was, Kirk could not sleep. His own words seemed to echo in his cars. 'I'll try to be the mate you deserve.' That was very important, but somehow - there was something he had forgotten, something he had learned in that open, full link they had shared when Spock had come to find him. There was some... failure, some omission.... He hadn't seen it until now - but now that he had he could sense that there was still one strand of the bond left unconnected...  
   
Suddenly he knew what it was, and his lips curved for a moment in amusement at his own foolishness. What an idiot he'd been! And Spock, beloved bondmate, had been so gently patient, betraying no sign of how he ached for that missing element.  
   
As though his mind had been waiting only for him to remember what he needed to know, sleep began to steal over him. Kirk burrowed deeper into the pillows. "Soon, Spock. Very soon...." he murmured in sleepy promise as much to himself as to his mate.  
 

***

  
   
The reception at the Romulan embassy proved to be a study in diplomatic formality in its most perfectly rigid form. Though Starfleet uniform mingled with the rich robes of the Ambassadors, Kirk was the only officer present below the rank of Captain.  
   
At least his lack of seniority wasn't too obvious, Kirk mused. Instead of dress uniform he was wearing a severely-simple outfit of tunic and trousers in a rich dark blue, the starkness of its lines broken only by the beautifully-embroidered Clan emblem over his heart. Both as Spock's bondmate, and as Sarek's younger son, he had the right to wear it.  
   
Many of the Starfleet personnel present knew him as Spock's First Officer, and his appearance so dressed drew many puzzled glances, as did the marked attention Hilvan paid him, making it clear to all that this seemingly unimportant Human was a welcome and valued guest of Romulus. However, no-one had quite the courage to ask questions... yet.  
   
Kirk was almost beginning to enjoy himself when he found himself parted from Spock in the crowd. Hilvan, who had been talking animatedly to him, was suddenly called away, and for the first time that night Kirk found himself alone. He looked round a little nervously, aware that Spock was some distance away; much closer, a group of Starbase officers was eyeing him curiously. One of them stepped forward, as though to address him, and Kirk edged away - he recognised the man as one of Devlin's cronies, who had been present at the dinner party when Tal had arrived. It would certainly be wise to avoid him if he could.  
   
Just across the room he caught sight of Captain Shevas, and began to make his way through the crowd. He liked and respected the Andorian; indeed, Shevas had once asked him if he would consider applying for transfer to the Potemkin. Dominated at that time by the Captain, he had been forced to refuse, and now of course he would not leave his mate, but he had been grateful for the offer - the Captain had alway denied him any sign of approval, and it was from Shevas that he had learned that he was considered the best First Officer in Starfleet.  
   
"Mr. Kirk! What an unexpected pleasure!"  
   
His attention fixed on Shevas, Kirk had not noticed the woman who addressed him until she laid her hand on his arm.  
   
"Mrs. Reynolds! It's nice to see you again." Spock had mentioned that the Admiral would be at the reception, but he had forgotten.  
   
"I've been hoping to run into you again before we left Farol," Sylvia continued. "Jon, come here a moment." Reaching out with her free hand she attracted her husband's attention. "Jon, I want you to meet Commander Kirk. I told you what a pleasant and courteous escort he was."  
   
"Delighted to meet you at last, Commander." The Admiral shook hands warmly. "I've heard a great deal about you, not only from Sylvia, but also from Captain Spock,. I am most grateful to you for your kindness to my wife."  
   
"The pleasure was mine, sir," Kirk murmured.  
   
"But what are you doing here, Mr. Kirk?" Sylvia asked, "I understood you were going on leave almost at once."  
   
"I'm with Captain Spock, ma'am."  
   
"You must remember it's customary for Vulcan officers to have their immediate subordinates on duty for occasions such as this," Admiral Reynolds told his wife. "It's Spock's good fortune to have such an excellent First Officer. Why, speak of the devil - sorry, Spock. I've just been meeting Commander Kirk at last."  
   
Kirk smiled his pleasure as the Vulcan joined the group, but his eyes widened as he saw Commodore Devlin just behind him. The man was listening intently to the conversation. Sylvia spoke again, asking the question he had half longed, half dreaded to hear. "Doesn't your wife mind you being on duty, Mr. Kirk? You said she was joining you - is she here tonight?"  
   
"I..." Kirk hesitated, moistening suddenly dry lips.  
   
One of these occasional silences had fallen in which everyone nearby became aware of and tuned into the conversation of one particular group. He looked around, realising how many people were waiting for his answer.  
   
Spock was watching, ready to follow his lead; the Admiral and his wife were politely attentive; Shevas moved closer, his antennae twitching curiously - he had not known that Kirk was married; the Ambassadors, Hilvan and Serraf, were listening... and Devlin was there, waiting, watching, revelling in the knowledge that whatever Kirk answered, it would create problems. If he denied Spock, Hilvan and Shevas would be scandalised and Devlin's accusations would be seen to have a basis in truth; if he announced his bonding it might be the beginning of the end of their careers in Starfleet...  
   
His natural shyness and his dislike of being the centre of attention brought the colour to Kirk's face, but he lifted his head proudly... the situation had arisen before he was prepared for it, but whatever the result he would never deny Spock, or his love for the gentle, lonely man who had given him back his life and sanity. A glimpse of the questioning look on the face of the Vulcan Ambassador reminded him of the correct procedure, and he held out his hand.  
   
"My bondmate, attend me."  
   
Spock moved instantly to his side, touching his hand, and Kirk's clear voice rang through the room as he smiled at Sylvia Reynolds. "I'm sorry, ma'am - I didn't realise, the other day, that I didn't make myself clear. My bondmate is here tonight, but I have no wife. I am bonded to Captain Spock."  
   
The silence was broken by the Admiral's question. "Spock, is this true?"  
   
"Quite true, Admiral. James Kirk is indeed my bondmate, the younger son of my Father's House, and an honoured member of our Clan."  
   
"A most suitable match, Admiral." Hilvan smiled approval. "A pairing between two warriors, between a Captain and his First Officer, fulfils an ancient and honoured custom shared by both Vulcan and Romulus."  
   
"But poses a problem, surely?" Devlin edged forward, his expression that of a man asking an abstract question, giving no hint of the malice that lay behind it. "Which would you consider of greater importance, Captain - the welfare of your... bondmate, or that of your crew?"  
   
"Such a question has never been asked of any other bonded Vulcan in Starfleet!" Ambassador Serraf sounded as outraged as it was possible for a Vulcan to be. "I do not see why it should be asked of Captain Spock."  
   
"Nor do I," answered Spock coldly. "My record speaks for itself. A Vulcan wife knows her duty, my bondmate knows his. That is all that need concern Starfleet."  
   
"It is, nevertheless, an unusual situation," Admiral Reynolds said thoughtfully.  
   
"With respect, Admiral, in what way?" Kirk countered swiftly. "Many senior officers have wives and lovers serving on the same ship. Would you deny them that right? I know, sir, that your own wife once served under your command, and I never heard that it impaired your efficiency."  
   
"A fair point, Commander. This... bonding, I think you called it - what status does it have under Vulcan law?"  
   
"The same legal and social implications as marriage," Spock replied. "True, it is rare between a Vulcan and an Outworlder, but my Father and Clan recognise my chosen mate."  
   
"That is correct, Admiral," Ambassador Serraf said, "and I state now that Vulcan would resist any attempt on the part of Starfleet to penalise an officer for taking a male bondmate."  
   
"There's no question... " the Admiral began, but Spock interrupted him smoothly.  
   
"Surely the answer lies in our performance, sir? If you are aware of our successful handling of the Kalor negotiations, you must know that we could not have achieved the treaty had Commander Kirk and I not been bonded."  
   
"I do know that you were successful, Captain, but I have not yet had the opportunity to read the report. In what way did your personal relationship affect the outcome of the talks?"  
   
"The Kalors have a strictly divided society, sir. The first contact team included a woman, and so was not received at all by the government. The second team was all male, and so was allowed to negotiate with the Male Council, as an all-female team would have been permitted to negotiate with the Council of Women. However, the Kalors received the impression from that delegation that their customs were unacceptable and they too were dismissed. Because of their anxiety to join the Federation, the Government decided to try one last time, and Commander Kirk and I were assigned to the duty. From us they learned that same-sex relationships were permitted by Federation law, though in honesty I had to inform them that not all member planets granted legal status to such unions."  
   
"I see, Captain. One further question. There are no regulations specifically forbidding same sex relationships in Starfleet. Why did you take such care to keep yours secret?"  
   
"I can answer that, sir," Kirk broke in. "Our bonding is recent enough for us to want... well, some time on our own to get used to it, before... I mean..." He coloured deeply.  
   
Sylvia Reynolds laughed sympathetically. "Jon, stop tormenting them," she chided. "Surely you haven't forgotten what it's like to be young and in love. Remember how careful we were? And Captain Markham knew all the time. It's not so hard to understand."  
   
"No, I suppose not." The Admiral smiled affectionately at his wife. "Captain, Commander, it seems that congratulations are in order. Kirk, you'll require dependency posting from now on. Send the application to me, and I'll authorise it."  
   
"Thank you, sir." Kirk turned as the Admiral moved away, but Spock was surrounded by some of the senior officers, who were adding their own somewhat startled congratulations. Smiling, Kirk stepped forward to join him, but was halted by a hand on his shoulder.  
   
"That was clever, Kirk, getting Reynolds on your side," Devlin sneered. "But you don't fool me - there's something odd going on here; and Tal's death proves it. Oh, you manoeuvred Hilvan beautifully, so there's no action I can take over that. But I'll be watching, and the minute you put a foot wrong..."  
   
"Put a foot wrong; the best first Officer in the Fleet? Be careful, Commodore... Vulcan ears are sharp," the sibilant voice of the Andorian captain broke in.  
   
"They've fooled you too, Shevas. I don't know what Spock and Kirk are up to, but I'll find out. Remember, Kirk, that Tal did give me a few details before Spock shut him up, and I'll get the rest of it somehow," Devlin threatened as he moved away.  
   
"That man hates you, James," Shevas said thoughtfully. "You should both be careful of him."  
   
"We will. Thank you, Captain Shevas."  
   
"I have only one regret - that it will not now be possible for you to serve under my command. I think, however, that Starfleet will gain from this bonding."  
   
"True, Shevas." Extricating himself from his audience, Spock joined Kirk, and the three moved aside. "It is my hope that now one openly-acknowledged male bonding exists, others may find it easier." He smiled at Kirk as he spoke, and the Human knew that he was thinking of Tsang and Larson.  
   
"And for that, you will have enemies," the Andorian warned. "Not all of the High Command are tolerant of non-Human customs, especially if they are applied to Humans."  
   
"Then they must learn. And perhaps we have also found... friends?" Spock asked.  
   
"Indeed."  
 

***

  
   
Not long afterwards Spock touched Kirk's shoulder and indicated his readiness to leave. Kirk nodded, and concluded his conversation with Zantor and some of the younger Romulan diplomats.  
   
Ambassador Hilvan drew them aside for a private farewell. "I am in your debt, Captain. The matter we spoke of will be attended to. Mr. Kirk, you may at any time command my services."  
   
"What did you discuss with Hilvan?" Kirk asked curiously as he took his seat beside Spock in their aircar.  
   
The Vulcan completed the takeoff and set the car to cruise automatically before he replied.  
   
"Shevas' comment about the harm Devlin could do had already occurred to me, Jim. From what Hilvan said, I received the impression that Devlin's reputation is not unknown in certain quarters. I spoke also with Ambassador Serraf, hinting at an unspecified discourtesy to my bondmate - nothing I could act on, but displeasing nevertheless, and complicated by the fact that he is our senior officer. A few words in the ear of the Admiralty by two influential Ambassadors... these things can be arranged discreetly... Devlin will think his transfer a promotion at first; only later will he realise that he has been neatly sidetracked into a position where he cannot harm us. Thereafter, if he is unwise enough to make indiscreet allegations, it will be attributed to personal spite on the part of a disgruntled Officer."  
   
"Is that fair, Spock?" Kirk's strict sense of justice was troubled. "Do we have the right to injure him to protect ourselves? Just because he dislikes me... "  
   
"He likes you far too well for my peace of mind, Jim. One of the Starbase staff let slip to me that he was planning to have you transferred to the base here, under his direct command - although the dependency posting Admiral Reynolds is arranging for us will remove any risk of that. Jim, while I have no intention of playing the dictatorial bondmate, please obey this one order. Although it is unlikely that you will ever again find yourself in Devlin's company, if it should happen, call me at once; and if he tries to use his rank to order you, invoke your rights as a Vulcan citizen and say that I have forbidden you to associate unchaperoned with any Outworlder. It is a hopelessly old-fashioned attitude, ever for Vulcan, but no-one can deny me that right."  
   
"Very useful, some of these old Vulcan customs," Kirk commented. "I never liked the man, Spock; is he... like the Captain?"  
   
"In many ways. But from now on he will be closely watched, and the first indiscretion will lead to a thorough investigation. Now, do not think of him again, It is a beautiful night, and we are together. Why waste it?"  
   
"Where are we going?" Kirk asked, realising that the lights of the city lay far behind them.  
   
"On leave, remember?" Spock smiled at his bondmate,. "I have arranged a surprise for you."  
   
"What is it?" Kirk asked, intrigued by the gleam in the dark eyes.  
   
"It would not be a surprise if I told you," Spock answered. Reaching out he encircled Kirk's shoulders and drew the Human closer. "Relax and enjoy the flight," he advised. "We will be there in a little over an hour."     
   
_There?_ Kirk wondered as he obediently settled against Spock, pillowing his cheek on the silky tunic that matched his own. He judged their course by the stars, and reckoned that an hour's flight would bring then to the mountains. There was nothing there of particular interest that he could remember, unless Spock wanted to go climbing.  
   
Lazily he reached up to ruffle the dark hair, then drew Spock's head down until their faces were inches apart, Spock's warm breath filling his nostrils with the sharp, spicy scent he loved.  
   
Kirk stilled, his parted lips an invitation the Vulcan could not resist; their mouths touched lightly, then sealed into a deep, probing kiss as their caressing tongues met and entwined until they were forced to draw apart to breathe.  
   
Seeing the awkward angle of Kirk's body as he twisted in his seat, Spock lifted his bondmate onto his lap; Kirk raised his head, gave a slow, sleepy smile of total contentment, and nuzzled affectionately into the Vulcan's neck. After a few minutes his head grew heavy on Spock's shoulder and the Vulcan looked down to see that he had fallen asleep, lulled by the soft moonlight and the purring of the aircar's engine.  
   
Spock's eyes were very tender as he gazed clown at the tranquil face; but though Kirk was showing no sign of distress he wondered if his bondmate's dreams were quiet... or if he relived these moments when he had lain under Tal's hands...  
   
Carefully Spock entered the sleeping mind, giving an unconscious sigh of relief as he saw that all was well - drawing confidence from the sustaining love that enfolded him, Kirk had never doubted that he would always be loved by Spock.  
   
Satisfied, Spock withdrew from observation and concentrated on the delightful sensation of having his mate nestled trustingly in his arms. He bent his head and brushed the closed eyelids delicately with his lips, kissed the smooth temples, the smile that lingered on the soft lips; he traced the curves of the small, rounded ears, marvelling again at their intricate shape, then he rested his cheek against the silky hair, his arms curved into a loving cradle for the Human's warm weight.  
   
When Kirk awoke it was to find himself being carried in Spock' arms. He smiled sleepily, slid an arm around the Vulcan's neck, and settled himself closer.  
   
"Where are we?" he asked, for it was too dark to see anything of his surroundings. The air on his skin was cool and fresh, though, and the sound of Spock's feet was muffled, as though he trod on grass, and in the distance he could hear the music of running water.  
   
"I will tell you in the morning, Jim. Tonight you need sleep."  
   
A few moments later Spock lowered him to his feet and ushered him into a living dome, one of the compact units used to house landing parties when a more robust shelter than a tent was required, or when an extended stay was necessary.  
   
Kirk's smile broadened as he glanced around, "Very comfortable.... but how did you explain that to Charlene?" he asked, indicating the wide couch that replaced the usual two bunks.  
   
Spock coloured interestingly. "Miss Masters asked no questions. She is an astute young woman - I believe she has already guessed our relationship."  
   
"Well, Mitchell did, so why not Charlene - she sees even more of us than he does. And after tonight, it'll be all over Starfleet."  
   
"Do you... really... mind, Jim?"  
   
"Of course not. With... with Him... I'd have hated anyone knowing, because it would all have been a lie... but I'm proud of you, and our love. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who doesn't like it can transfer off the ship - and good riddance!"  
   
"Indeed. Jim, it grows late, and I am anxious that you are alert enough to appreciate what I have to show you in the morning."  
   
"All right." Kirk stripped, used the tiny sonic shower, and settled into bed, moving over when Spock joined him. He came happily into the Vulcan's arms, resting his head on the warm shoulder.  
   
"This is one of the things I love most about what we have," he confided.  
   
"This? That we sleep together?"  
   
"That's just it - we sleep. The only time He came near me was for sex, but you... You love me, you want me, when we make love it's always marvellous. But you always know when I'm tired, and then we can he together like this, just... just loving each other."  
   
Soft lips brushed his temple, "Like you, I have always longed for love," the Vulcan murmured. "I knew it, and lost it, with Jim Kirk... but that was... different. I lived for him - but you are my life. We are one."  
   
"One," Kirk agreed, pulling Spock's arm around his waist. "Spock... hold me..."  
 

***

  
   
They woke early in the morning and left the dome to bathe in the river Kirk had heard the previous night. Gazing around he saw that the dome had been set up in a narrow valley in the foothills. Apart from the dome there was no sign of man's presence - only the river, the flower-carpeted meadow, the graceful trees, and the towering grandeur of the mountains in the background, The only sign of life apart from themselves was a small herd of shy, deer-like grazers who fled at the sight of the two men.  
   
"It's lovely:" Kirk said appreciatively. "Just listen to the quiet."  
   
"I thought you would like it, and there is more. When we have eaten I will show you."  
   
"Then what are we waiting for?" Kirk led the way back to the dome, dressed, and prepared breakfast.  
   
When they had eaten Spock cleared away, tidied the dome, then turned to Kirk, smiling. "Come now - it is not far."  
   
As they walked across the grass towards the cliff face that bounded the valley, Spock began to explain. "Knowing of your interest in the Farol temples, I studied the notes you had made. There was a most curious omission. I wondered why, and investigated further."  
   
"An omission?" Kirk frowned, puzzled. "But I got my notes from Mrs. Reynolds, and she's the leading expert on the ancient culture of Farol."    
   
Spock halted, looked around, then gestured to Kirk to sit down on a boulder. "In the other universe the Enterprise was also based on Farol for a time, and I came to know the planet reasonably well; for example, I am aware that the 'temples' are actually shrines commemorating important events or persons in the history of the planet."  
   
"That's right," Kirk nodded. "It was only when we began to decipher the ancient script that we learned their true purpose, Until then it seemed reasonable to suppose that such elaborate structures should be the temples of the ancient gods. We still use the term out of habit."  
   
"And they are as famous in that universe as in this." Spock eyed Kirk with anticipation. "T knew them well enough to realise that. The most ancient, and the most beautiful, is unknown in this universe. I refer to the Temple of Unity."  
   
"I've never heard of it."  
   
"I did wonder if it existed in this universe at all - we do know there are many differences - so I investigated and found it. Now I have brought you to see it. I should perhaps warn you that it is... different from the other temples."  
   
"An unknown temple; I can't believe it!" Kirk's eyes sparkled with excitement. "Where is it?"  
   
Setting his hands on Kirk's shoulders Spock turned him so that he looked down the full length of the valley. "It is before you, Jim. The whole valley is the temple. This was the first... a natural shrine of beauty and peace. In later years the temples were man-made, elaborate and magnificent, but I have always loved this one. And now, T'hy'la, let me show you those to whom this temple was dedicated."  
   
Extending his hand Spock helped Kirk up and led him towards the cliff face. Only when they were within feet of the towering slab of stone did Kirk see that a projecting angle of rock jutted out from the main bulk of the cliff, forming a narrow passage.  
   
"Close your eyes."  
   
Kirk obeyed and felt Spock guiding him forward. He could sense that they were passing between two walls of rock.  
   
"You may look now."  
   
Around him the walls curved away in a circle, forming a natural amphitheatre of stone. On the far wall was an alcove, carved from the living rock and lined with warm amber tiles of a precious stone rarely found now on Farol, and highly prized. Under his feet the flower-strewn grass lay in a smooth carpet running directly to the hollow, and to its unbelievable contents.  
   
The statue.  
   
It was life size, delicately tinted to resemble living flesh, similar to those he had seen in other temples, but far more beautiful. It depicted two men, dressed as warriors of Farol's ancient past. They stood facing each other, their raised hands just touching, and their faces were alive with joy.  
   
"They were lovers," Kirk said softly, smiling himself in recognition of the love that radiated from the two figures so that the onlooker knew instinctively that their next move would be into each other's arms. "Who are they?"  
   
"Jadan and Valdo... do you know their story?"  
   
"I know their names, that's all. They are spoken of as the Founders but every reference to them in the old writings assumes that the reader knows who they were."  
   
"On the other Farol, since this temple has been discovered, their story is known." Spock slipped an arm round Kirk's shoulders, drawing him close. "As you saw at once, they were lovers from the Dawn Time of Farol.  
   
"It was a tribal culture then, much like ancient Vulcan, and warfare was a way of life. But they did develop the beginnings of a civilisation - they had music, art, a rich literature. They built cities and defended them.  
   
"This young civilisation was threatened, however, by barbarian invaders from the Western continent. These invaders were true savages - they lived only to burn, to kill, to destroy. Together the tribes might have resisted them, but old hostilities ran too deep, and they would not unite. It seemed that the culture of the East was doomed.  
   
"The legend tells that Jadan, son of the chief of one of the strongest tribes, was captured by barbarians, who intended to send him as a slave to their ruler. Before they could do so he engineered the escape of all the captives, killing the guards who had been set over them. The prisoners attempted to return to their own lands in small groups, having called a truce until they reached safety.  
   
"What happened to Jadan's group, we do not know; all that is known is that he reached this valley with one companion. It was winter, and the trek had been hard; they agreed to rest for a few days, then continue their journey, but they found the passes blocked by snow and the cliffs treacherous, impossible to climb. They could not leave, but there was food, water and shelter here - they could safely remain until spring.  
   
"During these months Jadan learned that his companion was Valdo, son of his father's greatest enemy. Once, that would have seemed important, but they had a stronger foe to fight - the winter. As they relied on each other for food, shelter and safety, love grew between them, and hereditary enemies though they were, they swore the oath of Life Companionship.  
   
"Those two warriors shared another dream, a dream of uniting their people against the invader. When spring came, each youth, as was his right as heir to the rulership of his tribe, called his people to the Sacred Ground, where the deadliest enemies could meet in perfect safety.  
   
When the tribes had gathered each spoke to his people, repeating their vows. They begged the warriors to follow them in unity and free their land from the barbarian threat.  
   
The rulers were angry. Each demanded that his son break his vow and return to his tribe, killing his lover as a sign of obedience; both refused, although it meant death.  
   
"But... their words had been heard. Many of the younger warriors, both male and female, stood with Jadan and Valdo, swearing to leave their tribes and follow them. Outcast, accursed, they left the Sacred Ground knowing that every man's hand was against them.  
   
"They returned to this valley, knowing it for an easily defended stronghold. Their army grew, as warriors from the lesser tribes came to join them. Soon they could begin raids on the barbarian camps."  
   
Spock paused, looking at the statue with respect. "Those two young warriors united their followers into a new tribe. The rest is more fragments of legend, and quickly told. The warring tribes were annihilated, partly by the invaders, partly by each other. It was a long, bitter struggle but Jadan and Valdo drove the invaders back, and back again, until at last they came no more. In the last great battle they were killed. They were found in each other's arms."  
   
"What became of the tribe?" Kirk asked softly.  
   
"Each had taken a woman from the female warriors as wife. Valdo's son married Jadan's daughter; their son, in turn, held the rulership. Enough had been preserved of the culture to build anew, and the civilisation preserved by Jadan and Valdo flourished until the coming of the plague which decimated the population of Farol and led to their Dark Age."  
   
"And the temple?"  
   
"This valley, which had been their home, was dedicated to them, and the statue was placed here later. If you wish, you can examine the walls of the alcove - the tiles are inscribed with their story. It was from this beginning that the tradition of the Farol temples began. The later ones are more elaborate, cleverly built... but I think this the most beautiful."  
   
"It was where they lived and loved," Kirk whispered. "Their house, as the Enterprise is ours."  
   
"They sleep beneath the statue." Spock finished his tale quietly. "But legend says that they lie still in each other's embrace, as they were found."  
   
Kirk leaned against his bondmate, "Thank you for showing me this Spock. It is truly beautiful."  
   
"You must now decide what you want to do about the temple," Spock said after a moment.  
   
"Do about it? I don't understand."  
   
"As the discoverer of a hitherto unknown temple, you will be honoured," the Vulcan pointed out.  
   
"I hadn't thought of that." Kirk considered, remembered for a moment the enthusiasm of Sylvia Reynolds and the curator he had spoken to and the thought that he could not deprive them of this. Then he thought of the other temples he had visited; of the crowds of visitors, the noise, the commercialisation. Finally he thought of the beauty of the tranquil valley and of the peaceful grave beneath the stone.  
   
"Let's... leave them alone," he whispered. "If someone else finds it, let them have the credit. This is so lovely... I couldn't bear to spoil it."  
   
"I was hoping you would feel that," Spock confessed. "Very well... we will leave them to their rest."  
   
Kirk smiled, and lifted his arms to encircle his bondmate's neck; his parted lips brushed the Vulcan's mouth. As they kissed he eased his lover back slowly until they were lying on the soft grass.  
   
"Spock..." Kirk leaned on one elbow, delicately stroking his lover's face as he bent down to touch the warm lips with his he allowed his hand to slide inside Spock's tunic.  
   
"Mmmm?" The Vulcan, enjoying Kirk's touch, answered lazily.  
   
"Spock, I know how badly you've wanted... how much you've needed to complete the bond. I was afraid to make love to you because I was so sure I would hurt you... and I've hurt you far, far more by refusing you than I ever could by loving you. So... I'd like to... to love you, Spock... and if you don't mind very much, I'd like it to be here..."  
   
Spock's dark eyes opened, and Kirk caught his breath in wonder at the joy shining in the liquid depths.  
   
"T'hy'la, you will truly claim me? You will complete me at last?"  
   
"Yes, Spock. I'm sorry I've been so selfish, so cowardly until now. You've given me so much, and I have denied you..."  
   
"Do not think of it - it never happened," Spock whispered. "We are here, together.... Oh, love me, T'hy'la... "  
   
Slowly, carefully, Kirk drew off Spock's clothes and his own. All his movements were quiet and unhurried, their mood matching the peace around then. When they were nude at last he began to stroke the lean, elegant body, his touch producing soft gasps of pleasure.  
   
When Spock reached to return the caresses, however, Kirk smiled and shook his head. "This is for you, love," he whispered. "I want to give you the pleasure your touch gives to me."  
   
KIrk bent his head, allowing his mouth to follow the path his hands had taken across the quivering flesh. Gradually he realised that now he was the experienced one, the one who knew what he was doing, as beautiful, loving Spock, for all his tenderness, was a virgin still. He looked down into the glowing eyes.  
   
"I know that it would be easier for you, the first time, if you kneel," he whispered thickly, "but could you bear it this way? If I can see your eyes..."  
   
Spock lifted a hand to brush his cheek. "It would please me," he said shyly. "I too wish to see your face, T'hy'la."  
   
As Kirk leaned down again Spock spread his legs wide, allowing the Human's hand to slip between his thighs. He gasped at the shock of pleasure that ran through him as their swollen genitals brushed together - it was almost too much to bear.  
   
Anticipation filled him as he felt Kirk's fingers rub against the ring of muscle that guarded the entrance to his body, and his hips lifted in silent pleading... then Kirk was drawing back, and shame spilled from the Human's mind into his.  
   
/I forgot! I forgot, and I'd have hurt you!"/ Pain and guilt surged higher and higher.  
   
/Jim! Jim, what is wrong?/ He knew through the link even before the Human formed the thought.  
   
/Selfish, cruel and thoughtless! I wanted you, and I didn't even think about... about.../  
   
/About such essentials as lubrication?/ The wry humour in Spock's mind cut effectively through the clouds of guilt. /Jim, are you attempting to prove just how foolish you can be - and now, of all times? Since the only pain I feel is that of frustration, it is clear to me that you had no intention of hurting me, and that you are incapable of doing so. Now, will you please proceed? I am not certain if it is possible to die of frustration but I have no wish to find out./  
   
All Kirk's tension had dissipated in laughter before Spock had finished. /Being self-pitying again, was I?/ he grinned. /You certainly have an effective way of dealing with it. But seriously, Spock, I don't want to hurt you... Maybe later.../  
   
/It is not necessary to wait, Jim. I can control the necessary muscles, relax them sufficiently to permit you entry./  
   
/Are you sure?/ Kirk asked hopefully.  
   
/Try and see - you can always stop if you think I am lying to you,/ Spock offered.  
   
Kirk smiled and lowered his head to kiss the Vulcan's mouth. He allowed one finger to rub gently around the tight ring of muscle, then pressed gently; to his surprise it slipped inside easily. He withdrew and probed again with two fingers; they sank into the warn flesh as easily as his tongue slipped into the hot wet mouth.  
   
Kirk drew back, looking searchingly down into the Vulcan's face; the dark eyes smiled back into his.  
   
"It is time, Jim - we both know it," Spock said, and Kirk's heart lifted at the note of quiet happiness in his lover's voice.  
   
"Long past time," he agreed. "Spock, I love you."  
   
He could not have stopped now. Carefully he raised the long legs, supporting them over his shoulders as he guided his swollen penis to the fully dilated anal opening; Spock's hands brushed his face, fingers settling into position; every fibre of the bond quivered with anticipation, as though knowing that completion was finally near, and now he could wait no longer.  
   
Slowly, his eyes fixed on Spock's, Kirk began to ease forward. The hot, tight flesh opened as easily for his penis as it had for his fingers, and laughter slipped joyously from their lips as Kirk sank easily, sweetly, lovingly into his lover's virgin flesh.  
   
"Jim, my Jim." Spock's hand combed through Kirk's hair as they rested for a moment. "Kiss me now, and then... "  
   
Kirk took his mouth in a kiss of gentle passion then he drew back, easing himself almost out of the tunnel of silky flesh. Slowly he established a rhythm that Spock followed easily, quickening as passion mounted, until with a low groan of ecstasy Kirk felt himself coming deep inside the warmth of Spock's body. There was an answering spasm of heat against his belly, and as he slumped in exhaustion across Spock, Kirk realised with astonishment that although he had forgotten in his excitement to stimulate his lover, Spock too had come in the ecstasy of Kirk's orgasm.  
   
An unreckoned time later, Kirk eased himself up on his elbows and carefully withdrew his softened organ from Spock's body. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, and knew even before he had finished speaking how foolish the question was.  
   
Spock did not even dignify his idiocy with a reply; he smiled instead, a smile of pure contentment, and opened his arms to Kirk.  
   
The Human settled close, lifting his mouth for a sleepy kiss. Then, "What was that I sensed in your mind just now?" he asked incredulously. "Spock, tell me!"  
   
"I only thought," the Vulcan murmured sleepily, "how tired I had become of what seemed to be perpetual virginity."  
   
"Spock!" Kirk exclaimed, scandalised; but the Vulcan was already asleep. With a satisfied, loving smile he wound his arms around his sleeping lover and followed him.  
 

***

  
   
Much later Spock leaned up on one elbow. Gazing down with satisfaction at his lover's nude perfection. "Truly, Valdo was beautiful," he said lazily, glancing at the statue, "but my bondmate is more beautiful still."  
   
"I can say the same - Jadan didn't have such exquisite ears, for a start," Kirk replied, nibbling a delicate tip gently. "Spock, I was thinking... "   
   
"Yes?"  
   
"All these universes... You and Jim Kirk.... me and the Captain... the Commander and his Kirk... and all the others... I think we must have been meant to find each other."  
   
"You suffered so."  
   
"Spock, listen... I think now that I'm glad in a way that the Captain was... was so savage. If He'd been kind to me, gentle... Yes, I'd have gone to Him... But I'd have missed... you. I'd have been... content, I  
suppose... but I wouldn't have known this joy."  
   
There was silence for a moment, then Kirk chuckled, smiling up at his mate, the hazel eyes sparkling.  
   
"What amuses you?" Spock asked.  
   
"We've played so many roles, Spock. We've been strangers, friends, brothers, bondmates, lovers... What's left for us?"  
   
"I do not know," the Vulcan murmured as he leaned down to the smiling mouth, "but this I do know. I love you, Jim Kirk. Now and forever."  
 


End file.
